how to respond to people who "ignored" your engagement/wedding- VENT

I know we would all like the world to stop turning when we get married but it just doesn't work like that. Before I got engaged, when I would hear of couples getting engaged I would be so ecstatic. Now that I have been engaged for several months and knee deep into planning, I am not as ecstatic when hearing other getting engaged. I feel kind of guilty that I don't have the same enthusiasm as before.

I am the queen of petty/childish behavior too, and I always dream up some type of conversation or altercation where I feel vindicated, but in reality I never do it because I usually calm down before I get the opportunity and then realize it's not worth it. I would say maybe you should just be the bigger person. Send her a text saying congratulations, but definitely don't play into her self-centeredness by giving her a lot of attention.

I had a hard time with this too because I have really felt left out by this whole wedding process. All of my friends are married, and while they were planning theirs (several years ago) I saw them as the complete center of attention for everything - this was, after all, their moment! Likewise - since I had been single most of my life, I had thought that someday whenever I did get married, the same would happen to me. Well - not really - because NOW most of our friends are more interested in started families. So FH and I both kind of feel like we are getting sh*t on in this deal, because when everyone else got married it was a big deal - but now we kind of feel like their mentality is, "Oh that marriage thing? Yeah we already did that - over it! On to babies - that's what we're into now. Thanks for trying though."

I know that's not the way it really is, but sometimes it kind of feels like it.

Maybe I'm the weirdo, but I love how subdued the mood is around us. No one is making a huge deal about the wedding other than his best man. The ex wife is making a big to-do, but in a negative way. And I just look the other way.

I'd like to keep these times as stealth as possible, to be honest.

Lol @HoundMama...yes, "Oh that marriage thing? Yeah we already did that - over it! On to babies - that's what we're into now"

& I did write back eventually "Congrats" was all I could think of.

I don't think I expected much, a simple congrats or acknowledgement goes a long way, I never really went into Bridezilla mode /w wanting the world to stop, but ignorning everything even the wedding invite, says ALOT. I agree w/ Megan. Didn't want to make an a$$ of myself being petty & confrontational, so I let it go for the most part.

I wish more people would ignore my wedding lol. If one more person asks about why I don't want a bridal shower or why they aren't a bridesmaid I might scream. I hate being the center of attention. I actually wish more people from our circle of friends would get engaged to get me off the hook from all the questions.

Awww, I don't think you guys read my post thoroughly. lol

#nevermind

I think I understand what you are saying... Some people out there feel like if they cant be in the same boat or one up you they can't celebrate you or be happy for you. It can be hurtful when there are people that you want to share your joy with and they turn their backs to it.

Also I dont think that you are being petty or childish, you have the right to feel how you want to feel.

I get it and I would act the same way to her as she acted with you.

I would also after the wedding say "looked like it went great"

it's not even so much the fact she acted like that about the wedding it's just that she is a bitch and I treat her like one.

I feel the same way you do. When you first get the ring its all oohs and aahs and congrats and now its like when is the wedding? oh two years from now..well oh well....

I get it, some people are just too small or jealous to allow themselves a moment of happiness for someone else. Unfortunately, my FMIL is the one who hasn't even congratulated us or asked to see the ring or even how her son proposed!! It's pretty hurtful when you show excitement for things in their lives but they can't recipricate.

Thank you Latisha, Diane!

For a second I thought I wrote something totally different w/ all the responses "I wish people would ignore my wedding". Clearly, that's not what I was saying or wanting thus the name of the thread.