How to invite AFTER the RSVP

I would just explain to them nicely and not lie about it. We are all grown ups and understand that weddings are not cheap and you'll have some decision making to do. Best of luck to you, with whatever your decision may be!

I'm not doing this at all- my guest list is the A list. If some cannot attend then we just will have a smaller number.

A girl I worked with did this a few years ago and started inviting people to make her minimum # for the catering or venue. She then invited me and I was insulted and didn't really want to go anyway, so I didn't attend and of course I didn't send a gift.

Sometimes, though...I feel like no one really grasps that weddings are expensive...until they have one. LOL

The only, ONLY way I can see a B list not being rude is this: You have a minimum for your venue, YOU and FH are not the ones paying (in other words, your parents or his) and therefore, have to invite whoever THEY want first, and then there are pretty much no invites for the people you want to come. In that case, I would say yes, send invites for the declines, but be COMPLETELY honest with the people: "My/his parents are hosting, and did the guest list, and by the time we were adding people, there were only a couple of spots left! Now that family is declining, we have the opportunity to have the people we want there with us, would you like to join us?" and leave it at that.

That's the ONLY way I could see this situation as being non-offensive.

I think people understand weddings are expensive. If we have extra room I wouldn't hesitate hand delivering an invite and saying we would love to have you!

I also plan to send save the dates..... Reason being many ppl will actually tell you they are not able to make it ahead of the invitations. This will save you invites to them and you can add some ppl to the list.

It's not rude at all, that's ridiculous. I'd much rather receive an invite at any time to a friends wedding than to never receive one. I wouldn't question someone inviting me "late", but I would definitely question a friend not inviting me at all.

Allow people to have plus ones, or straight up tell people you have more room now... the reason doesn't matter, it should only matter to someone that they get to be there. If they think its rude than they don't deserve an invite in the first place.

We were added as B-list guests to a wedding before. We were not offended in the slightest. MOST of the people planning weddings are not working with an unlimited budget. You can't invite ALL your friends, coworkers, etc.

The couple that added us on are our friends through a group of people. We never hang out with them 2 on 2, but often see them in social situations and enjoy their company. A few weeks before their wedding, they decided to add in a few couples from that group of friends to fill what otherwise would've been meal-paid but empty spots at their wedding.

If you think people would be offended by being invited to your wedding but not being invited in the first sweep, then don't invite them at all. They would obviously prefer to sit at home and wallow in their propriety rather than share you special day with you because it just so happened your cousin from Scotland couldn't swing the plane ticket.

Just don't lie about it.... now that IS tacky!

That really clears it up....