How to get over post wedding regrets

It sucks when things go wrong, but, try remember that it was only one day and it was just a party. You still ended up married to the love of your life, right? It was a party to kick off that. The marriage after the wedding is the important part in the end, so try to focus on perspective and making your marriage the best it can be.

You guys looked great!

Thanks I'm trying to keep telling myself that. I guess I had hyped the day up for so long in my mind I'm grieving it by going the way I thought.

I agree with Stephanie. Things are always going to go wrong despite your meticulous planning - that's the nature of events. Having a sense of humor and concentrating on the good that came out of the day is the best way to cope - a do over isn't possible. Remember the love you felt that day and enjoy the fact that you are married.

Is anxiety over your friendship with your DOC or other stuff too? If it was just the DOC, I would try to go to coffee or drinks and try to put it past you. I know once the friendship is mended, my anxiety would decrease.

I think it's very easy to be disappointed when you've invested so much time, money and energy in planning a milestone day in your life, only to have things not go as planned. I can totally understand why you'd feel some disappointment, but I would hope that those feelings fade with time. You definitely make an excellent point about hiring professionals, rather than relying on "friendors." And as for the wedding night, you'd be surprised how many couples don't "seal the deal" because they are exhausted lol. Try to focus on what went right, not what went wrong. At the end of the day, you married the man you love, and you have the rest of your lives together to continue making new, beautiful memories. ETA: by the way, you two are a gorgeous couple! Post more pics if you'd like to share with us!

Can I ask what happened?

Unless something truly, truly awful happened, your guests probably didn't even notice it, and your'e married, so that's the best news. You are a stunning couple, and you have a life time full of 'wedding nights' coming up!

But you do make a good point about friendors, and I hope other couples here listen to you.

First of all, that is a terrific picture of you both-- if you were holding back tears, it doesn't show! You both look as happy and relaxed as a newlywed couple should be, so focus on that.

Also, you can't feel it now, but less than5 years down the road (and you look so young, I expect you to be happily married for decades!), all you will tell people about your wedding is what went wrong, and brides who had the worst disasters have the best stories-- if you don't believe me, as a friend who's been married 5 or more years about her wedding. She won't say, "Oh, the flowers were lovely and the music was delightful!" she's going to say, "The baker made the wrong cake, and my uncle got drunk and threw up on the dance floor!"

I am a family therapist, and if you were my client I would say, "You need to argue with that 'inner idiot' who tells you your wedding was terrible." When that little voice says, "But X went wrong" you reply mentally, "Yes, but I am married now." Writing it down is even better, if you're inclined. Eventually your inner idiot will shut up, I promise.

Focus on the good parts. Remember how it felt seeing your DH for the first time on the aisle? Conjure up those memories and eventually you will no longer feel the emotional connection to the negative memories.

I have not even posted about all the stuff that went wrong on my wedding day. Heck, I was thinking about it all earlier today when I was packing up some things to take to Goodwill tomorrow. It made me a bit upset thinking about it, but that lasted like 10 minutes and I put it out of my mind. I don't know what exactly happened at your wedding, but at mine I wanted to punch someone in the face, but I did not and none of my guests even knew there was an issue. LET IT GO.

For me, it was time. Time was the only thing that made me feel better about a couple things.

You'll get over it. On my wedding day I didn't worry about anything, and there were mishaps. What are you going to do? The second week after we were married I did go through a few days of thinking about those things but you start to move away from it and it's not that important. My wedding was perfect in all it's imperfections. It was beautiful, we were happy, that's all that matters.

In years of planning events for work I have learned something will always go wrong. I had a few small things not go perfectly, but at the end of the day I was married. I would suggest getting a hobby. Before the wedding you were probably spending a lot of time planning, and for a lot of brides after the wedding they are sad the planning is over. A hobby will help fill the time, and having a new project to work on will keep your mind off of what went wrong.

I'm a really high strung person. I actually had nightmares over our honeymoon while "getting over" the wedding. Don't get me wrong, nothing major went wrong. But it just took some time for me to decompress from something I was wound up so tightly about.

In time, especially once you get your pictures back, you'll learn to let go of the things that bothered you.

Thanks ladies the comments are helping. In regards to what exactly happened just to get it off my chest,we arrived to reception and are ready for first dance and dj plays wrong music he does this two more times before finding the right song, he continues to not play any upbeat party music and nothing I requests. People were able to do a line dance or two and the children seemed to enjoy but it wasn't enough to keep the adults on the dance floor and having fun. Then my before doing any of the other traditional activities bouquet toss ect my coordinator suggests we cut cake, me being in my bridal bliss agree and then I notice people start leaving then I remember you cut cake last because it's a signal it's time to leave,also somewhere during this process one of our toasting glasses was broken and we barely got any cake. I got over this and was just enjoying mingling and taking pictures with guests until coordinator comes up to me looking exasperated asking who is going to help her clean the venue mind you in thinking she had people for this as she does weddings all the time in my hometown. Regardless that was not a question for me. So basically all her energy of tiredness frustration transferred to my body for the rest of the night and I was exhausted for no reason my wedding night. Also the dj comes up to me the bride saying he has to leave early due to another gig. He was told to be there at five instead of 7 so he seemed irritated that he was there so long. This pissed me off too so he left early. At this point I was done I just wanted to go leave and relax with my husband. We did but I was so tired and incoherent we couldn't enjoy the night also my stepdad had the audacity to call us asking about where stuff goes. I'm like just take everything that's mine to your house and we'll figure it out another day why are you bothering me on my wedding night??? Am I over reacting ladies. I'll post pics if you like too it looked really nice and other people seemed to enjoy some said reception felt too short but other than that ceremony was flawless and a beautiful day overall.

Sorry for lack of punctuation. I had to get it all out.

Leaving the church

Cake and glasses before being broken

Kids enjoying weird dj music

Coordinator and I