How to "fire" a bridesmaid.

I would just honestly tell her how you are thinking and feeling. And just say if she really isn't interested then you are going to have to find someone else. You shouldn't have to be dealing with that on top of everything else you have going on with all the planning.I am now trying to find another bridesmaides because my cousin stepped down because of the cost and a bunch of other reasons.

How does your FH and your soon-to-be in-law family feel about his sister being in the wedding? There's a lot to consider here because you might end up causing a family war over this so ask yourself if it's worth it. It might be LESS stress to just leave her in but don't count on her for anything, and it's all about reducing the stress and drama

I would simply just ask her if she wants to be in the wedding. I agree with PP that you need to consider how she is going to take it and how the family is going to take it, but I would definitely just ask her. No way around it, really. Are you close with your FMIL? You could always ask her what she thinks you should do.

That's what I did when I wasn't sure if I wanted my FSIL as a bridesmad - I asked my FMIL and she said that FSIL wouldn't care either way, that it's not necessary and that FSIL would probablyl enjoy it more NOT being a Bridesmaid.

There isn't enough space up top!

*edit: And after the wedding I went home and my FH stayed behind to hang out with his sister and her husband. Anyway, while they were all hanging out she was going through her cards, bragging to him how much money she was getting from everything. My FH thinks she was being a wicked *b* and doesn't care if she's involved either because of her actions.

Question remains: What do I do?

Yikes if she sucks so much why did you ask her in the first place? Are you sure firing her won't create more drama with your in laws? I would talk to your FH before doing anything. You may want to tread lightly on this one...

I hope you guys come back and read through this.

Haha. She doesn't talk to me EVER and we've NEVER been close. I only asked her as a "last resort" BM because at the time my FH had 4 GM and I'm kinda OCD in the fact I think that each BM should have a GM to walk with. But, my FH doesn't want her in it because of her actions and I'm just BRALLGGGHHH! over this. I'm one of those people who don't like to ruffle feathers no matter how uncomfortable I get. So, I want to cut her, its almost like I need reassurance this is the right thing to do.

(Yah. My new word... BRALGH) haha.

218 days! yay... xD

You can do what two of my friends did to me when y decided they were not going to have me in the wedding just dont talk to them anymore jk but that really did happen to me

What's funny Amy is, that's what my mother suggest I do, just "cold turkey" her so to speak. But I don't wanna be rude about it!

What's crazy is my MoH doesn't have the internet and she manages to write back!

LMAO! Oh good lord no....don't do that....that's horrible to let her think all this time that she's in the wedding and just hope she eventually gets the hint. Amy I'm so sorry that happened to you, WOW! If you now only have 3 GMs and really wanted the even BP then just tell her you have to cut down the BM list. Be nice about it, tell her you appreciate her agreeing to be a BM but you had to make a tough choice to keep the sides even, and you're looking forward to having her there as a guest. Since she's obviously not into the BM role anyway she'll probably be happy to be let off the hook

Omg. I love how you worded that! May I use it? haha

I wouldn't fire her over not responding to your emails regarding suggestions. Maybe she doesn't have any :-) Going forward only email her with things that pertain specifically to the wedding (ie, rehearsal date/time, dress fitting). If she doesn't respond w/n a certain time period, give her a f/u call. Then, if she doesn't respond w/n a certain time period - have 1 groomsman to be prepared to walk alone - leave her a voicemail saying "I hope you got my message, we no longer need a 4th bridesmaid." Don't let her ruin YOUR happiness. The show must and will go on with or without her!!!!

The only emails she gets are regarding the wedding and her involvement in it! LoL. That's the problem! Haha But, even then she doesn't talk to me. No small talk or anything. No, Hi how are ya?'s or anything. haha

*FSIL,

It appears that I have to cut down the bridesmaid list. I appreciate you agreeing to be a bridesmaid but I had to make a tough choice to keep the sides even. I am looking forward though to having you there as a guest! Have a good one!*

Ok, plan b :-) like someone else said, give her a call. here's some help -

"hey its me just calling to see if you were still going to be apart of our wedding, could you give me a call by sunday so i know whether or not to have kelly fill your spot"

after sunday, no response - she's history

Good luck!

Really the best thing to do is to talk to her. I had some problems with my fsil being in the wedding too. She didn't want to go dress shopping unless I let her boyfriend come along, and she eventually told FH that she didn't want to be in his stupid wedding anyway. So I just left it there thinking she wasn't going to be in it. But the other day I walked through their kitchen and found a bridesmaid dress hanging up that she had evidently bought off e-bay. She had every intention of wearing it to the wedding whether she was a bridesmaid or not, so she is back in the wedding again now, but not helping out with anything.

I like what you wrote, Charlotte but I would take out the "Have a good one!" It sounds a bit snotty. I would write the letter and then at the end say "I hope you understand." or something a bit nicer. I know you don't mean it to be snotty but if I were FSIL and reading it, i'd be like "what a b*tch!"

I thought that after I posted it. xD

Now that I've sat here and thought about it, I don't want her in my bridal party. Haha. That's why she was my last resort BM. Sad really, but her actions have really solidified my decision, I just need the easiest way to let her down. (Like a cheesy high school break up.)

I wish I could go back in time and never ask her in the first place!

One of my BM suggested having the FH do it, him and I could sit down and discuss what's up and then make a unified decision. (My other BMs are so awesome.) Haha.