How to decline a wedding invitation

Most of the people who declined our invites didn't send gifts and I think that's okay. We didnt invite people merely for their gifts.
I would send a small gift or card to the couple if they're super close to me, but if I declined an invite for others I probably wouldn't send anything.

It’s personal preference. If it’s someone close to us, we will usually send a card with a check. If it’s a more distant friend or coworker, we typically don’t send a gift.

It depends who it is. I don't think it's required. I would for some people and not others. We only got a gift from one person who declined that I can remember. A few friends who couldn't make it did make it a point to attend the shower or other pre-wedding events, and I noticed they gave extra nice gifts for that.

I still buy off the registry if I decline. I don't spend as much as I would if attending unless they are close friends or family. $30-50 typically, more if the relationship is more personal.

It’s not required to send a gift if you decline, but it is nice. So far we’ve gotten 2 declines and one had included a check for $50 with their rsvp.

Whether to give a gift or how much to spend actually is not related to whether you go to the wedding or not. The assumption that only very close people so close they would naturally want to give a gift, are even invited, or that if someone really cares, they will do anything to be there ( so if declining, they must not care), are written in many places as the reason many say, if you are invited to the wedding, you give a gift, and if not invited, no need . Those reasons don't hold up. People have very small weddings for reasons having nothing to do with how many people truly care for them. Simply being laid off or having bills to pay from medical or flood or school causes, or because you care for elderly or ill family, can mean a super small wedding. People who live you and really are close, and still wish you well, or who want to contribute to your new home, should still have that feeling, and send a gift. Even if your wedding is so small, no one is invited . . . People who don't much care should decline, and not give a gift. But sometimes they go. . . And people very close, who wish you well, but cannot get a day off or abandon other responsibilities, or have no money to spend 4 weeks pay traveling , should still show their love and wishes for your future with a gift. Those used to be the rules: give a gift if you have a close relationship, of value, which may be sentimental or monetary value, and must be within the giver's budget, and of the giver's choice. The more important that person is to you, the greater relative value. Whether you are invited or not, or accept or decline. Emotionally, you value them and wish them well, either way. . . And if you don't feel much connection, don't go. Don't give a gift, because you just don't care ( not because you are not attending .). . . And if you find yourself going because you are attached to someone who has a real relationship and cares for part of the couple involved at least, then either contribute to that person's gift or get your own, in the amount of a hostess gift ( not wedding gift value). As you would if you went to any dinner party, or milestone celebration. Clearly a "thank you for inviting me" gift, small and rather impersonal, not for the couple's future life or home necessarily.
In recent years people say they tie gifts given to how much they spend to dress up and get there, to whether or not " they are going to host us right with an open bar" and all manner of things, I read on wedding wire and used to on other sites. And many couples insist they have the right, " it only makes sense" to tell guests what the couple expects for gifts. Or go with no gift saying, well we don't give people gifts if they don't really matter, as though they accepted a random party invitation . . . . It is not a requirement to give e anyone a gift, ever in life. But it is customary to only attend events only for people you, or the family or SO you are with, care for. And to give gifts whether or not there is any party, for the most important occasions in life, and marriage has always been considered one of them. And when you are not attached enough for a momentous gift, to still bring or send a hostess gift as a thank you , with a nice note, any time you accept someone's hospitality and have not brought a special occasion gift.

I'd try to pick a gift from the registry, if you don't like anything from it then a nice card and whatever suits your budget is fine.

For me the determining factor is my relationship to the couple. If we are close or family I get them a card and money. If it is a co-worker or an acquaintance and we aren't that close I don't. However if I cant make the wedding I do try and attend shower and get them a gift from their registry. If no shower invite no gift.

I think it's polite to give a gift anyway but you definitely don't have to if you aren't going

What can you afford? And how close are the couple to you? As a rule then you give a gift, close to what would’ve been given had you gone, with a card attached that states you regret not being able to attend.

I'm unable to attend a cousin's wedding but still sending a card with a gift card to a place they are registered. She knew we were on the fence due to work projects and wasn't too upset when we declined the invitation.

Depends. If it's someone you enjoy a lot and would like to still give a gift or people you aren't that close to it isn't necessary. We had to miss one of my FH's coworkers wedding because FH had to work. We gave them a cash gift still and a card. We had another wedding of FH's old acquaintance where FH was away at drill so I did not go to the wedding either. We didn't give a gift.

You certainly don't have to gift if you don't want to. It's totally up to you. I would probably send a gift if it's someone you're close to.

I didn't know this actually, but our etiquette experts say that it’s proper etiquette to call the couple and personally let them know that you won’t be able to make it, as well as returning your RSVP card. They also suggest you should still send a gift if you can, as a gesture.

How to Politely Decline a Wedding Invitation has even more information on how to gracefully decline a wedding invite.