How to deal with uninvited guests...

I have a friend who told me she isn't sure if her SO can come but she really wants to come. I wasn't sure what the proper etiquette on this was. Maybe i should have told her she can bring someone else but i didn't because i didn't want to sound like i was begging for people to attend my wedding. If she had said she was bringing someone else that would be fine. Its just one "extra" person that you have already paid for with a different "face".

*If* people were to question why couldn't they bring their brother, sister, cousin,etc., wouldn't it be after the fact as in reception in progress? I think it'd be a moot point by then as they won't be able to invite others. I get you're annoyed that it's someone you didn't directly invite, but I don't see how this could lead to an overinflated guest list as she only rsvp'd for 2 not 3.

1. People (unless 100% rude and have never interacted with humans before) are not going to call you to say "Oh I got the invite, can I bring my mom and dad and my grandparents?" Besides, how are they even going to KNOW that she is bringing her effing sister? Sounds like you have little faith in your guests to be reasonable people. Funny because you're being so unreasonable....

2. Her bringing her sister is not an "extra" person. That's a person you have already accommodated in your numbers.

3. 120 people is not intimate.

So I would personally let it go.

ALSO - I know a lot of people who if the SO can not come last min they bring a friend or someone else to sit in there spot - I mean you already paid for the meal so whats the difference.

You were already planning on paying for his meal - and now her sister wants to eat it.

If people get mad, which they won't. Just tell them, or she is here in Johny's stead. Wouldn't matter if those arrangements were made 2 days or 2 months ago - she is his body double.

For whatever reason, she did not want to come alone, so why make her?

100% agree with @Angela and PPs

It sounds like you have already made up your mind about not wanting her there because despite all of the advice that you get, you are stuck in your ways.

Unless their plus one is someone whom hates us or something I could careless who it is. My issue is guests receiving a plus one and asking to bring plus two or plus kids that shit annoys me to the max because now I have to be a bastard an tell them absolutely not:/

My fiance may not be able to attend my good friend's wedding two weeks before our own. I spoke to my friend, and asked if I could bring someone else. She said "YES PLEASE DO!" Why? Because she's already paying for the meal. She'd rather someone enjoyed it vs money being thrown down the toilet.

And how would anyone know to ask you why they can't bring someone else unless you told them? Otherwise they'd only find out at the wedding. You're making excuses that make no sense.

Either tell your fiance that you don't want the sister, and you'r comfortable with offending his friend, and potentially ruining a friendship that obviously means a great deal to him for them to be invited to you "intimate" wedding, or suck it up.

PS my wedding is 120, it's not intimate. Intimate would have been our families and possibly a best friend or two on each side.

Carrie, there are many who post on WW expecting support. A majority of them get it, and they get it because they're correct. The people who don't are people with rude, tacky, or self-centered ideas. You'll have to figure out which category you fall into.

You are so closed minded and steadfast in your position. If that's the case, why even post this type of thread? Is it truly just for support? The fact that your original post says, "This is what I told FH to say to one of his friends..." is kind of weird. If he's on board and a partner in this edict, let him explain it without your script. Why does he need to be coached in the proper verbiage; after all, you allegedly came up with it together, right? Actually, your original post leads me to believe that even he may be side-eyeing you on this one. Why not have the courage of your convictions? Why don't you just woman-up and explain the wedding policy to the lady yourself? I can tell you why -- because it's far easier to imagine yourself saying something abrasive than it is to have the words choking you in real life.

I guess you've approached your guest list with surgical precision, and that's the immutable here. You are determined not to pay for your adult guests to have escorts unless you've approved those escorts. It's less than thrilling to pull into a venue parking space, check your lipstick, and then say, "Great. I have to walk in alone. I have to maneuver cocktail hour alone. Will I know anyone I've been seated with? I'll be fighting off men who realized I walked in alone. I have nobody at my side. I hate this. Why wouldn't they let me bring my sister instead of this? I should have stayed home." I can only assume you've probably pissed a few people off by sending them single invitations when those people were likely expecting to be accompanied by a boyfriend/friend (someone you don't know). If so, then yes, you'll probably have an issue -- a rather widespread, talk behind your back issue -- something that begins with, "Wow, can you believe this. No plus ones, but did you notice...?". Don't worry. They'll never say it to your face.

So, go ahead, give your FH his speech orders and continue to think of yourselves before you consider your guests (because there won't be enough limelight shining on you on your wedding day). Honestly, if this were the way you treated me (my husband's in the hospital, so I can't bring my daughter in his place and enjoy a nice evening out), I'd decline your invitation -- happily. You have a bad vibe. I'd assume you'd either spent beyond your means and were trying to recoup your losses or manage your credit, or you really just didn't give a shit about your familiar guests walking into your party alone. Yeah, that's fine with a ladies' night, but it's totally awkward when it comes to a big social event.

In this case, disposing of some random sister would make you happy. That would leave you with one empty seat -- or possibly two. I can almost guarantee you have a B-list you're itching to get to.

I'm out.

Hmmm, I guess I don't understand. If her SO can't come, but her invite was for 2 people, I guess I don't see the harm. One of my friends that is invited to our wedding said her DH may not be able to come because he will be on call to work. I told her no problem, bring someone else as her "date"...she can bring her sister if she wants. She gets 2 spots on my invite list...I guess I just don't care who she brings. Most people don't like to attend weddings by themselves.

I also think this is ridiculous.

You have her down for 2 spots. She's going to fill both of them.

If someone says they're bringing their brother or whatever (which I doubt will happen), just explain that the sister is the replacement boyfriend for the night.

I have a feeling you're going to be a bridezilla by your wedding. Calm down. This is little in the grand scheme of things. You're going to probably get upset by so much more if THIS is upsetting you.

I still think you are right to be upset. And I also still think you should let it go.

But to the PP saying it's okay for her to bring her sister, I don't think it is proper etiquette to bring someone that was not specifically invited unless you received a plus one. It's not like concert tickets. "Oh my bf can't make it. I'll take my sister instead." It's a wedding. And as a woman who was single throughout her 20s, I got a lot of plus ones. I never used them, because most people I knew were already invited, and I wasn't going to invite some random person that didn't know the couple. I just went stag and enjoyed myself. As a married woman, if my H can't make it to a wedding, I'll just go stag.