How to deal with uninvited guests...

Yeah 120 people is not intimate. I think you're making too big of a deal out of this, it doesn't change your numbers at all and nobody else will know until the wedding.

I don't know if this is an etiquette thing or a matter of opinion thing (I also did not read through the comments) I don't see the big deal?

Yes, FH and I know everyone that is coming. My family. His family. My friends and their SOs. His friends and their SO's. Also, SOs and plus ones are different.

*Eye roll* your stressing over nothing . Instead of SO she bringing her sister she is not bringing SO and sister . So what you are saying has no logic. No one is going to care unless you tell them and if they do find out they are not going to be oh I want to bring an extra person which isn't even what this girl is doing she already had her plus one SO but he can't go so she will go with her sister. If I already had an invite my FH can't go I'm taking someone in his place so I'm not alone I did this for my brothers wedding I told him hey blah blah can't go but I'm taking blah instead I got an ok we already counted for 2 so that's fine with us. So let's break it down girl + sister=2 girl+SO=2 so yea your still at 2 your not adding or subtracting I don't get the problem ... And you don't know her umm ok that's one person you don't know and out of 120 trust me she won't ruin your night.

The issue is OP is worried about the adult singles she didn't give plus ones to are going to question why this friend gets to bring a plus one.

I started my answer, walked away, came back, and posted. Now, I've read your subsequent posts, Carrie.

You actually believe that allowing your FH's friend's sister to attend your wedding in her boyfriend's place is like opening Pandora's Box? Pandora's Box? A slight overstatement, no? Unless you announced it, how would anyone even know? If I saw a lady and her sister, I'd either not know who they were, or, if I did, I'd just assume the lady and her boyfriend had parted ways or he couldn't make it -- if I even noticed. If your guests took issue with it (why would they?), I seriously doubt that they would come to you and say, "Why couldn't I bring my brother?" If they're adults, you've given them plus ones, and that's your answer. However, disappointment is rarely shared by the guest to the couple on their wedding day. Couples with cash bars often say everyone loved their wedding -- despite the fact that they used their own money to pay for a prominently featured, adult refreshment. I can tell you -- because I've worked weddings in which I've heard guests speaking out of earshot of the couple -- that they were disgusted by the cash bar. Guests who are treated to the last in line positions on the buffet line and are greeted with empty trays of entrees and too many side dishes do not tell the couple that their budget friendly or self-catered meal was horrible. However, all you have to do is read any wedding forum to know that those people were not happy with the way things worked out for them. It's truly difficult to believe that anyone with an iota of class would assault the bride or groom with, "Why wasn't my brother invited when her sister was invited?" With all due respect, you're letting this wedding get carried into the stratosphere. Sure, you've planned and spent money. Sure, you have a vision of ethereal beauty. But honestly, a few unfamiliar faces will not change a thing.

This is good advice. This is a wedding -- huge for you, of course -- but probably of little interest to your FH's friend's sister. I seriously doubt she will feel the way little, impoverished Charlie Bucket felt when he won that fifth golden ticket to tour Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. I don't say that to insult you or your wedding; I say that to remind you that your implied "exclusivity clause" is off-putting. Your guests are not there to fulfill your visions; they are there to witness the culmination of a relationship, the exchanging of vows and rings, to gift you accordingly (at least that's what I believe should happen at a milestone event), and to partake in a celebration marking that event.

There is a tone in all of your posts -- a tone that's already been called out (enough so that I believe this thread may be deleted before I get a chance to post this comment). It's abrasive...hardly pleasant. You haven't found the groundswell of support for your position that you thought you'd receive after posting this thread. If you can get beyond that and actually HEAR what's being said by women who are (or who recently have been) in the same position as you, you will learn something about yourself (after all, it is you telling your FH what he has to say to his friend about "uninvited guests") and where you are allowing your wedding brain to take you. What's important is that you are happy on your wedding day. What's important is that you are surrounded by people, the majority of whom know and love you. What's important is that you will meet, at your wedding, for the first time, a few people who be a part of your future. If a handful of them are guests for the evening and disappear, will it change your lifestyle? Of course not.

I met new faces on my wedding day -- 35 years ago. I grew to love them after that. In fact, I've attended some of their funerals. Lighten up. If you can afford the boyfriend, you can afford the sister...or you can tell your FH that he has a 50/50 chance of keeping this friend (and if he keeps her as a friend, it will be in spite of you -- because that's what he's going to tell her. The moment she starts to show a hint of being offended, he'll probably say, "Well, it's not a problem with me, but Carrie says...". It's human nature).

So what are you looking for here with this post then?

Validation that telling her she can't bring her sister is ok?

Because I'm pretty sure you aren't going to get that here.

Just because she knows everyone doesn't mean that she isn't going to feel alone without SOMEONE there to talk to/dance with, etc. ESPECIALLY if its all couples. If her SO can't come...what, you'd rather her not come? Because If I knew the guest list was going to be full of people I either don't know, or all couples, I'd want to bring a guest too, or I wouldn't go.

So...if you want her there to celebrate with you, suck it up and let her bring her sister.

The point is, if this friend is allowed to bring her sister, that will open up the door for people that don't have SOs to ask "can I bring my brother/cousin/neighbor?".

^^how will they know unless you tell them?

They won't!! TADA! Problem solved.

Omg. How many times are you going to post that Carrie?? People are NOT going to do that because they aren't going to know until they get there that's she's brought her sister instead. Let it go! Or make your FH tell her she can't bring her sister and possibly lose her as a friend.

The point is, if this friend is allowed to bring her sister, that will open up the door for people that don't have SOs to ask "can I bring my brother/cousin/neighbor?".

You're going to get asked this regardless. Everyone gets asked this. Just admit you don't want her there for some petty reason and let it gooooo.

Yasss CK

What I'm picturing OP's wedding to look like:

ETA: I can't spell today.

It's actually a simple concept. Your name's on the invite, you're invited. If it's not, then you're not.

I think people "still" do this because as you can see from the responses on this post it is generally not a big deal.

Why did you even bring this up then?

If you guys are so close that you know all the SOs of your FHs friends, has he ever met his friends sister? lol somehow I think this is a yes.

I'm with you Carrie. You didn't invite her SO as a plus one. You invited him personally. If he can't come, she can come stag.

Having said that, I would still just let it go. I understand why it bothers you, though.

I had 175 people at my wedding. There was nobody there that either H or I didn't know.

I really don't get people that are behaving like you are.

Do you really care for your friend (or FH's friend) so little that you don't care if she's uncomfortable without someone there to talk to?

Ridiculous.

The only way this would bother me is if the 'replaced' guest acted poorly at the wedding. It would be nice if people asked if it was ok to bring someone who wasn't the intended invite, but like it was mentioned earlier, people view wedding invites like tickets to an event "I have two tickets so I can bring whoever I want".