How to ask for money

Are you close with your dad? If you are, I would just approach him and ask him straight-forwardly, but also understand that it's his choice if he gives you guys money for the wedding or not. He can say no, and if that happens it's best to understand that and not let it get between your relationship with him.

Did you guys ask your fiance's parents or did they offer? if you asked the fiance's parents then you could have the same convo with your parents

I agree. It is rude to ask someone to else to pay for your wedding.

I don't think it's rude to ask your parents if are willing/able to contribute. What would be rude is to insist that they contribute if they said no, or to cause a scene about it.

That being said we haven't asked either of our families for help. My mom volunteered to help with the cake since that is what she can afford to do. I wouldn't dream of asking my dad to contribute because I know he can't afford to. FH's could absolutely afford to but haven't offered, and since we have stuck to a budget we could afford on our own, we haven't approached them for help.

If they were willing/able to contribute, they would offer to on their own which is why I did it rube to ask if they haven't volunteered.

Sounds like your dad hasn't offered to help pay. My advice is not to risk damaging your relationship with him by asking, especially when it seems like you only need money because of the mortgage situation. See what you can do to cut back on wedding expenses to make more room in your budget. There are probably some things you don't really need that you can forgo.

I completely understand this problem. I have spoken to both my parents about whether they intend to help pay anything and think that it is only right to ask my FIL's but I am scared to ruin the relationship. However, I don't think it's rude to ask your dad to help pay, while he doesn't know how much weddings cost (mine too) he does know that in theory he's suppose to help you pay for it.

You don't ask. He'll offer IF he wants to.

You're planning a wedding for a few months from now AND buying a house. Didn't you consider you'd be responsible for all of this yourselves? Looks like you're going to have to scale back somewhere for wedding expenses.

I don't think it's appropriate to ask people to help fund your wedding, and you should only plan what you can afford. Planning a wedding that exceeds your budget and then hoping others pick up the tab (whether contributions from parents or using wedding gifts to pay off the balance of what you owe) is a bad idea. It's also a bad idea to take on debt to host a wedding.

I think you need to figure out what you can afford and prioritize what is important to you. If others offer some financial help and that allows you to expand your budget that is fine, but you should not ask people to pitch in. It is only appropriate to ask for funds if your parents are requesting something specific that is different than what you would have chosen and they want to cover the cost/difference. For example, if you want to have a small, intimate wedding but your dad wants you to invite extended family, then it would be appropriate to have a discussion about the added cost of a larger venue, expanded meal and bartending service, etc for those extra guests and ask him to cover that expense.

If you have other big expenses that are taking priority (like buying a house) it may be better just to push the wedding to a different date (if that is an option) so you are not taking on so many expensive things at once.