How to ask for money instead of gifts for wedding

View Quoted Comment I agree with with Ivy

There are places where you can register for a cash fund that is geared to "New Home" "Baby" or "honeymoon". I know the Knot does one, there should be some other sites out there though.

You can create a new home fund and ask for monetary gifts instead of actual gifts.

View Quoted Comment How did you ask for them?

I simply said monetary gifts preferred. I know some people see it as "rude" but I've been to weddings that were straight forward and they got exactly what they asked for! Money!

I’ve seen so much back negativity with this, so I thought I would share my personal thoughts. We are making one of our step cards, inside the invitation, titled Gifts. Below that, is a “Home and Family Fund” under that, it says “The bride and groom kindly request no boxed gifts of gift cards.” Then we added “A Note from the Bride and Groom... This is simply all we truly want or need besides eachother. Please, don’t trouble yourself with shopping, or wrapping. Whatever amount you would go out and spend on a gift, we graciously request to send this way.

If you’re reading this, you are a special presence in our lives and we are elated that you’ll hopefully be joining us on our wedding day. We are beyond appreciative for your love, support, and any contribution towards our Home and Family Fund. We’re looking forward to being able to have an official nest, so that we may soon grow our family.” Our invites are formal and elegant so it looks very tasteful and put together.

Look, it’s a completely different day and age. Most couples now, already live together premaritally and already have dishes, cookware, bedding, etc. A LOT are living in apartments or smaller residences and they can’t yet afford a house or to feel financially stable enough to start a family and definitely don’t have the room to store more things. I know that is us and so many others we know! Why not request what you actually want or need? I believe it’s rude for the couple to expect gifts. On the other hand, I also believe it’s rude to show up to a wedding for someone you love, respect, or appreciate without having contributed something. Whether it be your ultimate support & friendship, a service you’re able to give, your time, assistance, or a gift. At one time or another, or for the event itself to help them out. I personally have never shown up at a wedding without having contributed as much as I could. I’m a hair and makeup artist and trust me, I do everything I can to hook my friends and family up. When I was 21 I had no money to give. (34 now wedding planning) I was bridesmaid to my friend and slept in the same bed with her the night before the wedding which completely helped her anxiety. I finagled a cute, purposeful safety pinned look for her dress that ripped 5 minutes before her fancy rehearsal dinner, and did her makeup and helped her artists with her hair. If I’m not doing stuff like that, I always give monetarily. The feed back is, they always appreciate it SO MUCH. I think being turned off by any bride and grooms request for gifts is petty. If you can actually be offended by that then ask yourself is it them or is it you? Maybe you’re jealous you didn’t do the same and just come out with it. Maybe you actually don’t have $50-100 to give, and that’s OK! ... but they obviously appreciate you in their lives enough to include and pay to include you on the biggest day of their lives, so what else might you be able to offer to them that they would really appreciate? Ask yourself, if it was you, would you honestly want a 50 dollar ninja blender or 50 dollars? Because even if that blender was a priority in your life, you now have 50 dollars to go buy it. Or maybe you’d prioritize differently on a whim. It’s the freedom that is the biggest blessing. If it was your own wedding what would you want/need/appreciate most? Why is it ok to register for a bunch of stuff that costs money but “rude” to ask for money? Why do people do things like a money dance?? Or a honeymoon fund? And that’s considered ok? Which it totally is! Literally guys and gals, it is YOUR wedding and it YOUR LIFE. You do you. State what you want in an honest, sincere way. Etiquette is what you make it. You set the tone. If people don’t like it, then oh well. Hopefully they’ll at least have a blast and will have amazing memories and pictures. Being a bride or groom is hard. Personally, we don’t have any financial support going into this. We are doing it on our own, and his family being huge, Guestlist 300. Original guestlist 550. But we both really knew we would be sad if we looked back, and never had this special day to share with each other and the special people in our lives. It is your life. People will always judge or criticize something no matter what. The real ones will understand. I hope more people will openly ask for monetary contributions. It is modern. If makes sense. It’s simple. It’s most easy on the guest also. At the end of the day it’s what most of us want or need so why be fake? Pride and traditional etiquette might say it’s rude but we have evolved. We don’t live in 1950 anymore. Anyway, I really am passionate about this and honestly, I hope this helps some wayward brides and grooms along if they’re on the fence. Do it, don’t look back. I wish someone would’ve written this for us to see. Cheers and happy planning, you got this

This is a really common question, we see all the time that couples really want to get cash rather than physical gifts. Generally the advice we see is to make a small registry and let it get bought up, and once the items are gone most people will go to cash. There are plenty of small things that can go on a registry for even a complete household, like new towels or sheets.

We have a couple of gifting guides -

6 Wedding Gift Etiquette Rules All Guests Should Know

30 Wedding Gifts for the Couple Who Has Everything

The classic question, How Much Money Should You Give as a Wedding Gift?
And finally, especially relevant for COVID times, Here’s Exactly When to Send a Wedding Gift

Yes it is rude! People will usually just write you a check. Any wedding I have ever been to, most people have money.


It is rude to ask for or expect gifts. If you don’t have a shower, you will not be getting any gifts. Most will give you money. Don’t ask for this. People know cash is the best gift and it’s also the easiest to travel with just a card and a check.

I'm gonna use the Zola registry to ask for a few gifts people can contribute to and a honeymoon fund.