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Malia
Savvy June 2022

How soon do you start chasing people down for Rsvps?

Malia, on May 10, 2022 at 6:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

Hey, y'all! Today is our RSVP deadline, and we're still waiting on responses from 55 households (134 guests). We invited 250 (114 households), and invitations went out a month ago. We have to give our guest count to our caterer on May 13th, so I'm a little worried about getting the responses back in time! How soon is too soon to start texting people to remind them to RSVP/ask whether they're coming or not? Our wedding is a destination wedding for 145 of our guests (wedding is in Houston, FH's family and friends are in the Midwest and Northeast), so with flights and hotels to book, I would assume people would know whether they'll be in attendance or not by now!

15 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on May 11, 2022 at 1:17 PM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Given you have only a 2 day grace period, I would be chasing people today already and simply noting to them that the RSVP deadline has now passed and if you don't receive confirmation that they are attending by tomorrow that they will be noted as not attending the wedding.

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  • E
    Devoted August 2022
    Emily ·
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    You did not allow much of a grace period. I would definitely start hounding people tomorrow.

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  • G
    Devoted June 2022
    Grace ·
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    Agreed, you should start reaching out to everyone tomorrow! Mention the caterer deadline so they know how important it is 😅
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    I'm not sure where you live, but if it's Mountain or Pacific Standard Time, I'd probably start chasing people down tonight. I know there are always a few who miss the RSVP deadline, but 55 households?! That's a lot of people to track down. No time like the present!

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  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    Another vote for immediately. That is a LOT of households, and a very short time until you have to provide the caterer final numbers.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Start now for sure. It really sucks that more people didn't respond in a timely way. How inconvenient for you!

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  • Cathy
    Dedicated September 2022
    Cathy ·
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    Not only would I start now, via phone calls & texts, but I would enlist help. If FH, your mom & his mom help, you could get it done in time. Also, you may find out why people didn’t rsvp. So just be kind & inviting. I accidentally didn’t rsvp for a wedding last year because I was trying to finalize our # going & the deadline slipped past. It was a online rsvp & I just dropped the ball, which I am less likely to do with a paper rsvp. We received a really sweet call from the groom & gave him our rsvp with apologies of not rsvp’ing sooner. I know it had to be stressful for him & the bride but he did not make us feel bad in any way! We did go to the wedding which was so much fun! Now the bride & groom are expecting a baby! Best of luck! You can do this!
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  • Sloane
    Super May 2022
    Sloane ·
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    I didn’t chase anyone down. Oddly all of my guest rsvpd but I started that process 9 months ago with a pre wedding invite survey, then save the dates 3 months later and invites 3 months after that. The only caveat to that was learning three weeks ago that my fiancés family from the Midwest are not coming. Not one! I found this out by happenstance. But other than that I did not chase any RSVPs down.
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  • M
    Expert September 2021
    Marianne ·
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    I agree with Cathy - start contacting people now, but also enlist help! Split the list into categories (like guests from your mom's side of your family, guests from your dad's side of your family, etc.) and have that person (your mom, your dad) contact them. Just explain (nicely) that you need to give final numbers to the caterer so you need to know if they're coming ASAP.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    You will get a number of reply cards on the due date. Tally those as soon as you get them and start in calling that evening until you go down the list which should be no longer than a few days at most. . When you are on the phone, don’t hang up until you get the answer if they are attending or not.
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    Yikes that's a lot! I'd start bugging people after you get your mail today incase you get a bunch of response cards back and can knock some people off the list (unless you did your RSVPs completely online of course). I agree that you should definitely enlist some help to make sure you hear from everyone.

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  • Malia
    Savvy June 2022
    Malia ·
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    This is what my mom recommended when I called her about it yesterday! She reached out to all of the non-responsive guests on her side, my dad reached out to his, my brother reached out to our younger cousins, and I reached out to friends. We got a few more RSVPs in, but 43 households are still unaccounted for (15 on my side and 28 on FH's side) - even after mentioning the catering deadline. I have the option to add an announcement to the top of our wedding website, but I'm wondering if this would be too firm?

    The RSVP deadline has now passed. Caterer numbers are due on Friday, May 13th, so if you have not submitted your RSVP by then, we will assume that you are unfortunately unable to attend. We will be celebrating with you in spirit!

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If the due date is the 13th, you start calling the afternoon/evening of the 13th after you tally the bunch that come in the mail last second. You don’t call anyone before the due date. When you contact all these stragglers, and they still don’t have an answer for you before the call is ended, count them as a no. Do not put anything on the website about the rsvp date having passed.
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    That sounds perfect!

    And, I disagree with Michelle. The RSVP deadline was the 10th. You do not need to wait until the 13th to call people. They had no idea the catering deadline was the 13th, they just know that they were asked to respond by the 10th. I'm glad your family is helping you! Just keep making those calls.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I misread the date. But they would do the same process on the 10th. Usually there is a week between the reply due date and the catering due date.
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