Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Ingrid
Super September 2018

How necessary is Garter/bouquet toss?

Ingrid, on July 11, 2018 at 3:23 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 78

I’m already over my expected budget, and I can’t justify spending money buying not one, but TWO garters so that my husband can go up my dress in front of people. He’s shy, so I can’t picture him having a fun time doing this either. Also, my bouquet is expensive so I don’t want to throw it away???...
I’m already over my expected budget, and I can’t justify spending money buying not one, but TWO garters so that my husband can go up my dress in front of people. He’s shy, so I can’t picture him having a fun time doing this either. Also, my bouquet is expensive so I don’t want to throw it away??? Honestly I’m wondering if people will even notice if we skip out on these traditions. The only reason aim even considering doing them is because “everyone” does them, and that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason. What do y’all think? What will you do at your wedding?

78 Comments

  • T
    Devoted September 2019
    Time2Shine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We won't be doing either of them. We talked about it and didn't think they were necessary. Thankfully there are only 2 single guests coming to the wedding, so they won't miss it.
    • Reply
  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Hard no for me - no one wants to see my legs. Just no for all the reasons pp's have shared!

    • Reply
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think most people skip it these days.

    • Reply
  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are not doing a garter toss because FH and I don't feel comfortable with him sticking his head up my dress in front of our family haha. With my bouquet we get a free tossing bouquet so we will be doing a longevity dance where the couple who has been married the longest will get the bouquet and some other undetermined small gift!

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Yeah we’re not doing either of these!

    I am wearing a garter that my grandma and my mom both wore at their weddings (it’s my something old, and it’s blue!) but the groom taking it off at the reception also makes me extremely uncomfortable!

    I also feel weird about doing the bouquet toss and calling out the single people!
    • Reply
  • char
    Expert September 2018
    char ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We're skipping both. I just am not very interested in certain rituals. They aren't necessary.

    • Reply
  • B
    Expert September 2018
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are skipping these because we don't have many single friends anymore.... we would only have a handful if the all went up... we are doing an anniversary dance instead!

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Aaliyah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are doing an anniversary dance instead because we aren't having a lot of single people anyway and thought it was a cool idea to give the bouquet to the longest married couple and have them give us a piece of advice. Our florist is including a toss bouquet as a promo for our venue but originally I planned to use a bridesmaids bouquet, which are also doubling as head table decoration.
    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy September 2019
    TakingHisMcClanahand ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are skipping it! It doesn’t really save to much money but the embarrassment our friends and family watching my husband getting underneath my dress.
    • Reply
  • Marissa
    Expert August 2019
    Marissa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I’ve been to weddings with and without them. In the ones without them I don’t even notice they’re missing and the ones with them sometimes cut into dancing. I’m leaning towards not having them as to not interrupt the dancing.
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2018
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We didn't do the tosses at our wedding.

    • Reply
  • N
    Expert October 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You can totally skip this!! I'm not planning on it and most people just find it embarrassing!
    • Reply
  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I am skipping them. Garter toss is creepy and bouquet toss puts (often unwanted) pressure on women to particupate. I never liked either event as a guest.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated January 2019
    SwanSquared ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If you want to do it, you can get a pre-made bouquet from Michael's or Hobby Lobby. I'm considering not doing one based on the amount of singles at my wedding, it's looking like it'll consist of mostly married couples.
    • Reply
  • G
    Devoted April 2020
    Grace ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    They are not necessary and we are skipping them. Instead of the garter toss we are doing a cake pull with positive fortunes that are uplifting. I am leaving out the fortunes of marriage and a baby because I don't believe it's right to assume everyone wants that. Instead of the bouquet toss we are doing the anniversary dance and we will be splitting a bouquet of roses that's not my bouquet to be given to family members to put on our grandmother's graves as they both were looking forward to spending the day with us and this is our way of including them. I love the anniversary dance the last wedding I went to had one and everyone enjoyed it. We heard some very heartwarming stories from couples and some stories were humorous. I just can't justify throwing away my bouquet to have it destroyed in a toss as I love flowers and it's going to be too beautiful to toss. The garter toss is a tradition that I feel is going away as more couples realize how outdated it is. I've only been to one wedding that had a garter toss and it was awful. They had stripper music playing during it while the groom was completely under the bride's dress to the point you could barely see his ankles. My fiance felt pressured to participate in the garter toss even though we were already engaged but other guests still pulled him up to do it. At the same wedding I felt pressured to do the bouquet toss even though I was engaged but I remained seated even though I was being harassed to do it with comments like "your single go up there who knows you might catch it" or when I said I'm not single one guest said "your not married that doesn't count" in which they were referring to my relationship with my fiance. It made me feel like those people thought my engagement meant nothing since I wasn't already married. I can't imagine how those that are actually single feel at weddings that have the garter and bouquet tosses. It comes across as cruel to single out guests that are single and assume they want to marry. In my opinion both are very outdated traditions. If you read the history behind both traditions they came about during times in which women were considered the property of men and second class citizens with very little rights. I'm so glad to see that others are doing away with these outdated traditions. I think you should do away with them also as it sounds like you want to. If anything makes you or your fiance uncomfortable it's a good sign you shouldn't do it. You could get just one garter to wear and keep as a keepsake which is what I'm doing. You could make it a surprise for your fiance or let him pick it out. Mine actually helped me choose mine and it's lovely. After the wedding you can preserve your bouquet and put it in a shadow box to display in your home which is what I'm also going to be doing. These days it's acceptable to do things your own way and do away with the traditions you dislike. Do things your way and in the end you will be much happier with the outcome.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted August 2018
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm doing neither of these options. The florist is throwing in a "free" toss bouquet, which I'm just having her display somewhere at the venue. I agreed with you -- my guy would hate that kind of attention. And, I'm 32 and most of my girlfriends are already married. It would be like playing "Single Ladies" and having 2 ladies dance. No need to draw attention to the issue. We are foregoing other wedding traditions, like favors and a cake. We just wanted to spend our money elsewhere, like on transpo for guests, great food, open bar, and a great band.

    • Reply
  • Alysia
    Devoted September 2018
    Alysia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am skipping both because A) I am working hard on my bouquet and I'll be damned if I have to throw it away and B) because having my husband reach up my dress feels gross and tacky.

    • Reply
  • #MakeHerABaker
    Dedicated October 2018
    #MakeHerABaker ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We definitely aren't doing the garter toss and I'm debating the bouquet toss. FH didn't want to crawl up my dress in front of all of our family and I didn't want everyone staring at me while he did it. Besides, I know darn well I'm gonna be so sweaty under my skirt that I wouldn't want him there anyway haha

    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We aren't doing the bouquet toss because every lady there is in a relationship lol. My garter was gifted to me by FMIL as my something blue and it came with a toss one so we may do that just for fun. Not sure though. It's definitely not required.

    • Reply
  • alwaysWright
    Devoted October 2018
    alwaysWright ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    My florist is making a "toss" bouquet for that! It was only like $15, probably just a bundle of baby's breath or something. I had the same idea of throwing a bridesmaid bouquet, but I'd hate to single out one girl to give hers up! You could probably even make one no problem!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics