How many showers?!

Plus...she showed up at moms house today unannounced and is stressing my mom out. Telling her that she needs to get together with the grooms mother and pick out their dresses and make sure they don't match at the wedding.

I don't care if the two moms match or not?!?!?

Oh my God. I dream of your problems. Seriously envy you right now. I'll be lucky to get A shower.

ETA: Can I haz your MOH?

What? That's weird to show up at your mom's house. She sounds way overeager. Has she asked you whether you want another shower planned by her?

I've hinted around to my MOH. I told her I don't need more than one "event". She says, "well that's not really up to you! You just show up when and where you're told". Gah!! You guys are making me feel ungrateful. And that's not it at all. My MOH also tried to arrange a girls weekend away, which I told her I didn't want. I'm just not that kind of person. I want everything simple. Is it so wrong of me to think that 4 showers is too many?!

As long as the same people aren't being invited to all the showers, there's no problem with multiple ones. You're pretty fortunate to have so many people wanting to be involved.

That's the problem. Like I said, it will have to be the same people invited to all of them. Because not many of my friends/family live here. What has happened is its turned into a competition. My MOH and aunt are competing on who can throw the best shower. I only need one. And if the girls want to throw me one at work that's fine too. Any more than that is excessive.

Well.. except she said she doesn't have enough people in town to have separate guest lists for all those showers. So that would be a problem.

4 showers is a lot. Just tell her no, your aunt is already throwing you a shower and that's the only one you want (if that's the case).

I think you should be honest. I know you've hinted, but just sit her down and tell her how you and your mom are feeling. Maybe your aunt and MOH can team up?

But, you are lucky to have so many involved. I won't be having a shower. My BM are very busy right now and so is my mom.

I hope everything turns out the way you want it to! Good luck!!!

Dont worry about the work shower, those are usually for co-workers/bosses only so none of your family will be in attendance. if your mom wants to throw you an eparty thats her business, it can a casual doesnt have the same vibe as a shower (opening gifts). as far as showers most brides arent involved so she will be doing stuff behind you back. if you only want one shower just tell her.

I'm not being ungrateful. You don't known the whole story. You need to stop being so harsh. My MOH has been showing up at my work and my boss said that she is weird. There's a lot that I didn't include.

I get your reservations. I was nervous about the 1 bridal shower I agreed to. (which was amazing btw, my friends and family spoiled me! FH even said, is this usual for a shower?) Your MOH sounds like she wants her own wedding. I have never known a MOH to need to help the mothers coordinate their outfits. That is just crazy. I don't blame you at all for not wanting any of this! MOH needs some Xanax and a stiff drink.

ETA: It boils down to you sitting her down and saying straight up, this is NOT what I want.

Yeah...can't help you here really. I'm most likely only getting bachelorette party and that's after constant reminders that I'd really appreciate one..

My concern would be that with so many showers people who aren't invited to the wedding are going to end up invited. And I've heard that it's very improper etiquette to invite people to the shower but not the actual wedding...unless of course you are eloping or having a DW and want to celebrate in some way with those who can't afford to make the trip. But in that case you would be throwing it, not someone else. Anyways, that would be my concern.

ETA : You seem like the type of person who just doesn't like a lot of attention, which is completely fine. I'm confused on how this person is your MOH and doesn't already know that about you. That would be like my MOH taking me to a strip club for my bachelorette party, that is soooo not me and she would never push such a thing. You need to have a serious sit down convo with this girl.

I only had one shower. My sister had 2. One thrown by my mother and her mil, and one at work. I agree.. As a guest 4 showers for one couple would be a bit much. 4 gifts back to back, on top of a wedding gift the day of. I'd go broke lol!

If your MOH wants to do all this stuff she can try and plan it herself, tell her to back off your mom.

Honestly I doubt the same people would come twice unless it was immediate family. Your work shower will just be coworkers so if they are doing that, they don't need to go to the other showers. A couple's shower is a different kind of event than a regular, all-girl shower. If I received 2 shower invites from someone, I'd ask what was up with that and come to one of them or both and just bring a gift to one. Just go with it. I seriously wish that my MOH was that involved. I didn't get an engagement party, no talks of a shower yet... I would be super grateful if I had this much support. Maybe I wouldn't want to slam my head against the wall from the stress, haha.

For the most part, she just sounds overly excited. But showing up at your mom's house and talking about the MOG and MOB dresses? That is none of her business and not a MOH duty. Your mom just needs to tell her to quit it.

Now about the showers. Forget the work shower, that one doesn't "count" in the total number of showers you can have. Why can't your aunt and MOH host the shower together?

Oh honey- calm down Ninja. Seriously. I'm getting great feedback from everyone else and you just sound like you had a terrible day.

The thing with your mom-that's not really her deal to plan. Just tell her that you've already talked to both moms about what they are wearing and that they will go shopping on their own.

As for the showers-if you are more worried that all 4 showers will be the same people, than that I can see being kind of embarrassing. There will probably be crossover at all of them, but as long as its different core groups (work friends, FH's family, your family, etc.), then you should be super grateful. You only get one wedding and one engagement. You are lucky your bridesmaids are so willing to help you out. Don't let their willingness to help be a cause of drama, because there are so many worse things.

ETA: I wouldn't cross Ninja...she has some of the best advice on here and nothing she said made her sound like "she's have a bad day."

I know that this sounds like a "first world bride problem", but I can absolutely understand how it's stressing you out as well. You don't want to be a burden on your friends and family, and don't want them to think that you've insisted on 4 showers. Can you talk more sternly with your MOH? I would email all of your bridesmaids (including MOH) on the same email and say that your aunt wants to help as well, and could all of them coordinate together on one shower!

I think being open and clear with your MOH would really solve this issue. Tell her exactly how you feel, how nervous you feel and that your not comfortable. I'm pretty sure if she is a true friend and a good MOH she will pull back and understand.