How many guests should my parents be allowed to invite ?

View Quoted Comment Yes the max our venue can hold us 150 . I really wanted a smaller wedding so I am hoping only around 100-120 show up but that might be unrealistic .

My fiances dad is giving up some money towards the wedding. When we asked for his list he had 30 people listed and then wanted to add more. My fiance has never met most of those people, they were mostly people he worked with.
We both thought it was alot of people, i looked at our list and realized he was inviting more people then i was inviting of my own family( i have a small family to begin with and not inviting one half) we ended up telling him 30 people was way to much and we asked nicely for him to cut the list and made it clear about the numbers, cost per person and the small amount of family i was personally inviting. Maybe talk to them, explain the cost and the numbers of family vs friends. I wouldnt random people at my wedding either

View Quoted Comment Also thanks for the words of encouragement !

I think 20 is a totally reasonable amount, especially since they are paying for half the wedding.

View Quoted Comment People figure it out. I also made my deadline 2 weeks before I needed a final count for my venue. Which I ended up needing as I only had half of our guest RSVP on time. It was a stressful time for sure, but in the end worth it!

View Quoted Comment Do you have a suggestion for who we should cut from our guest list ?


The probably is we currently inviting more people then our venue holds .
Our current counts are
My family is 70 My parents friends is 20 My wedding party is 16 My friends is 18 My fiancé’s family 30My fiancé’s friends : 10
We arnt allowing kids except my nieces and nephews ,which half are in the wedding .We arnt doing plus ones unless they are engaged or married .
Me and my fiancé already cut our friends list down a lot so I feel the only room play with is my parents friends

View Quoted Comment I’m dreading collecting the RSVPs ! I heard people never send them on time !

I think the main issue that a lot of posters are missing here is you are inviting more people than your venue can fit. I would invite 154 tops but really 150 should be the max because what if everyone comes?

I think unfortunately the only place to cut is your parents friends. Family seems out of the question and you guys are inviting only a few friends each. I know your parents are paying but not more than you. Have a family meeting and explain the situation to everyone and see where cuts can be made, I think asking your parents in isolation may make them defensive. Present it as a problem you all need to solve and maybe they can cut 4 and you can cut 2 somewhere else?

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20 out of 150 guests is hardly unlimited. Is their 40% not enough to cover their 20 guests? Are some of the people they want to invite, also people you want to invite? Did you both decide on a previous guest count for them and they are sticking to it, going over it etc. You are absolutely entitled to feel however you want to but if you have an issue with who they invite, then you should speak to them but just know that they could take back some or all of their funding for it out of spite. Happens all the time.

View Quoted Comment We actually originally had like 185 on our list , so me and my fiancé cut our friends already to get it down to 167. My parents are aware they we already cut our friends and I asked them to go down from 20 to 12 . But they actually keep trying to add more people instead of cutting .


For me it’s just frustrating because I feel like they arnt compromising or listening to me. I told them I wanted a small intimate wedding with only people who are close to me, which is how I was able to cut my friends down to only people who are my best friends. But I feel like they want to invite people they havnt even talked to in years. They keep telling me they can pay for their friends but it’s not about the money at this point , it’s that we physically don’t have room for them.

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So sorry, I know that can be super frustrating. My mom keeps trying to add more people even after I sent out invitations! But my parents are majority wise paying and I don't have a max venue capacity I'm close to.

I think that your options are to invite all the people on your list and hope for the best (that some say no) or go behind your parents back and not invite some people (probably not a great option).

Are a lot of your guests out of town? Or is anyone having a baby soon? This may impact how many may not come.

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Let her know you are sending the list out and if people say they will not be attending than you will have some free space for the people she wants to invite. Still remind her that the capacity is only for 150 people.

View Quoted Comment I think I’m going to tell my mom that there’s 6 of their friends that I don’t know that I’ll going to wait until I start to get RSVPs back . This will put me at 161 , so still over the capacity but I know a few people won’t come for sure . Once I get the RSVPs no I can see if we can add those 6 guests .

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Honestly, it's maybe your best option in a overall crazy situation. Good luck girl!!

View Quoted Comment Thanks !!!! One guest list issue somewhat resolved ! Now I have to have another conversation with them about me Inviting my god mother / aunt who I am actually close with and they asked me to uninvite her because they are fighting . I hope they don’t get pissed off

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Maybe I mis understood but you said that they are paying they should be able to invite who ever they want , which is implying a unlimited guest count. They keep trying to add and add more people , while I’m trying to cut it down so we don’t go over the venue capacity.


I’m trying to put a % limit to what’s normal. With my family(65) , family friends(8) and their friends(20) , that is 60% of the guest list .

Have the wedding you can afford, your way, and pay for it yourselves.

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So your venue can't handle 10-20 people over flow at all? Maybe tell your parents you'll have to B list half their friends (considered tacky typically but maybe necessary in your case) and send out the other invites first to see if you get any no responses.

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Sorry for the misunderstanding. No, I just meant for their 20 people, that didn't seem like too much out of the 150 total considering they were paying for almost half.

View Quoted Comment I suggested that to my fiancé but we have been planning for 18 months and 90 days away now , and already sent out our save the dates so I feel it’s too late , but I wish I just something much smaller