How many guests should my parents be allowed to invite ?

View Quoted Comment I’m asking them to reduce by 6 , so they’d have 12 guests

That's really tough. My parents are paying for the wedding and there was only 2 people they suggested I invite, which I was going to anyways. Their friends are their friends, not mine. I would definitely not be ok with them inviting people you don't have a relationship with. Maybe you can explain to them you're over your limit and the only place to cut would be from their list.

Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Yes ! I feel like they are their friends not mine ,the ones I’m trying to get them to cut are people I don’t think I’ve ever met or was a baby if I did . But they keep insisting that they really need to be invited . But I don’t know why , I don’t even know who these people are . I get wanting my parents close friends to come and I am ok with that , but I already am inviting some family friends and think 12 additional friends ( who I know) I’m ok with .

My parents are maybe contributing 10% to the wedding, and I sent 10 invites to 28 people out of 285 guests. I have known all of these people since birth except 4. And I've known those 4 for the last decade.
So based on that math, they get either the amount of invites that they contribute. 10% of $ = 10% of guest list. Or 0 people I don't know.
That being said, most of those 28 people I added without being asked to as they are important people to me too.We over invited by about 40 people, and though it was stressful at first, we had several people choose to get sitters. And 2 families consisting of a total of 20 people decline.We're actually going to be under max capacity and take some tables down for a little extra space.

I would just say they can’t invite people you’ve never met. That’s ridiculous. If they’re important enough to come to the wedding then they should’ve been important enough for you to have met sometime during your life!

View Quoted Comment Ok thanks . I feel like since I have a big family it’s not that straight forward. They are paying for 40% but my side of the family is 50% of the list . We went inviting kids except our Neices and nephews

View Quoted Comment That’s how I feel but they say that they are like “ brothers and sisters “ to my mom , but I feel like if that’s the case I would have met them at some ?

View Quoted Comment Exactly, if they were that important she had literal decades to introduce them to you at some point...

View Quoted Comment The friends form high school I have met , just havnt seen it talked to them in over 10 years .


There’s another group of friends that I have never met . And those are the ones I’m trying to specifically get them to cut , but would be ok with them cutting any of the friends lol . I’m more ok with some of the other friends since I’ve met them before

View Quoted Comment So my parents want me to invite my dads sisters , because they are mad at them . I was going to because I am not close to the one . do you think I should still invite them ?

View Quoted Comment 🤣 I'm not sure how large your family is, but I come from Catholic farm families. I have somewhere around 60 great aunts and uncles. And 200 second cousins. We only invited the 48 aunts, uncles and cousins I'm close to. And I mean like see or speak to monthly. I wasn't going to keep family who doesn't keep in touch on the guest list, and push off my or my parents friends.

If they are paying, they can pretty much invite whoever they want to. I don't think that 20 out of 150 is too much.

My parents and my husbands parents didn’t contribute to the wedding financially but I allowed them to invite a lot of people. I would let them have it and let them figure out what happens then if there’s a spill over of guests

Hi there, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and it seems you are getting close to invites going out. When I was getting married last year I had an early conversation about guests with my parents. They paid for 75%, but I made it clear that I was going to call the shots (in a respectful way). Our location only held 120 and we invited 150 knowing people weren't going to be able to make it, our final headcount was 85. It was important to me that the people who were there had made a significant impact on mine or my husbands life, not my parents. I did invite several of their friends that I had met over the years because your parents do want to celebrate their excitement with their friends, so I get that. But it's your and your SO day at the end of it all. I say it's your wedding day, so you tell your parents who is invited and who isn't. As RSVPs come in, you can invite some of those people on your mom's list **if you want too**. I hope this made sense. It's hard to give advice from an outside perspective not knowing all the family intricacies, because lord knows I had a lot, but I wish you well and everything will turn out beautiful. YOU GOT THIS!

View Quoted Comment I’m catholic too , but not that big !! I have 70 for my aunts and uncles and cousins ( we arnt inviting kids because that number would go up by 50) not sure about my second cousins or great aunts , I have never been in contact with most of them . I have one second cousin and one great aunt I’m inviting . My second cousin used to live with my family while growing up and his mom is the great aunt that’s invited.
I see my aunts and uncles and cousins pretty much just for funerals, weddings and family reunions . So once every 5 years or so. Because I am not close with them I don’t care if they really come to my wedding but my finances family is smaller and closer so I thought it would be rude to invite all of his extended family and not mine . And my parents told me they were going to help out with the wedding so I’m ok with inviting them, but if they come or not doesn’t really effect me

We had about 6 decline our invite. We had a separate list of others we would send invites to based on the number declining. It was never discussed with the guests, so they had no idea, but it kept us at our minimum! Is the max based on your venue?

View Quoted Comment They are paying 4O% and we are paying 60% . You think since they are contributing they should have unlimited guests ?
I’m just concerned because of the space , we have a limited capacity at our venue.

Like this concept is confusing to me , it’s my wedding , I’m still paying a majority of the cost but they are inviting more friends then I am . How does that make sense ?

Did you send the invitation yet? If you did you don't have to invite them and you can just let them know i am sorry but the venue capacity is 150 people no more and i have already met that number.

View Quoted Comment I had that idea of waiting for rsvps to come and if I got so many no’s to invite , I didn’t know if that would give them enough time though to send their own rsvps ?

View Quoted Comment Not yet , I’m getting ready to , I asked my mom check the spelling of all aunts and uncles and the friends I already agreed to . But she keeps trying to add more people to the list . I keep telling her we are over capacity and I don’t even know these people and I can’t invite anyone else but she keeps wanting me to anyway.