How many guests should my parents be allowed to invite ?

That's a decision that only you can make. Can you afford for your parents to pull their funding if they don't get their way?

I would give them a little more than 6. Is there whole list of 20 people you have no relationship with? I would say they should have between 10-15 based on how many of you friends you are invited. They are paying for half the event, they should get a say in the guest list.

You can't ask them to cut family. It is your family too. How many of their friends that you have no connection to are they inviting?

Unfortunately, when family helps pay for weddings, they get a say in the guest list. With them paying for half, I would allow them half of the guest list. So the fact that they only want 20 guests is more than fair. Both our parents contributed to our wedding, so we allowed them their own guests list. I would allow them their 20 and you and your FH make cuts from your list.

No that what I am saying. How many people are your parents trying to invite that you have no relationship with? Family you aren't close with doesn't count. They are your family too. Let's say for example sake it is 30. You talk to your mom and say "I invited 18 friends and FH invited 10. We really want to keep our wedding small and primarily focused on family. Can you take another look and see if there is anyone you can cut? Ideally, we would like you guys at around the same number of friends as me and my FH."

I included family in their guest count. Luckily, mine and my parents guests list were very similar. But, for example, if my mom wanted to invite great aunt Suzie and I didn't, then that was a spot on their guest list.

I'm also one that doesn't think extended family should be an automatic invite to a wedding unless they are extremely close to the family. So I would start by making cuts there (2nd cousins, great aunts/uncles, etc.).

How I would tackle this is starting with the ones I have never meet or have only meet once or twice. I would not include family friends that you want there on her high school friends that you haven't seen in a long time in the count. I would say mom you have 28 friends I have no relationship with on the guest list. I have cut my friend list down to 18 and my FH has cut his down to 10. Can you take a hard look at your list and see if their is anyone you can cut? Ideal we would like you guys in that 10-18 range too. Make it clear that family friends and her friends from high school are not counted in her count. This is basically an oil branch for her to cut some of the others.

Parents friends from HS that you've never met??? What??? No! I would definitely have a sit down with your parents about those. That doesn't make any since. They would be invited to your parents wedding, not yours.

The family thing completely depends on your family. It is not acceptable in my family to cut family. It would cause huge family drama.

Yea, that was how we did things at my wedding. I didn't say she had to do it at her wedding or that you have to do it at yours