How many guests should I allow my guests to bring?

All you need to do is invite significant others. Her RSVPing for 6 is totally inappropriate. Tell her the invitation is for her and her SO only.

First, plus ones and significant others are different. Anyone is in a relationship must be invited with their SO. They're a social unit. You do not have to extend plus ones to any single people. You also don't have to invite kids. If you want to invite some kids, do it throughout circles. As you suggested, you could do kids of family and close friends. To keep people from RSVPing with extras, address the invites to specifically who is invited, and put _ of _ seats, and fill in the second blank with the correct number.

Plus one is for single people. Anyone in a relationship should be allowed a guest (this is DIFFERENT than a plus one). You do not have to invite entire families if that is not your plan, but you can't say oh this kid is invited but not this one. That would be rude.

Well if you want adults only invite your guest and their significant other keep in mind if they have a baby that is breast feeding they will need to come as well.

If you want children, you can invite your guests and their children too it just depends on what you want. if you choose to go this route I would have the children that are in your family only.

***plus ones are different than a guest with an SO. a guest with a plus one is single and a guest with their SO needs to be invited as a social unit

You only have to invite SO's. We only extended kids to family, but anyone who asked we did allow, but we are lucky enough to have a large venue and a large budget. Set a budget for the amount of people and your venue's max capacity. That will help you decide kids/no kids.

Did you actually send out invitations yet, or is she just already telling you she's bringing her 4 kids and SO? Either way, it's pretty presumptuous and rude of her I think.

No way. Invite only the people you want there. Married couples and people in relationships absolutely must BOTH be invited, but you are under no obligation to have their children or their other family members there. That is ridiculous.

On your invites, address to "Mr and Mrs. Smith" and on your RSVP have a line for "We have reserved ____ seats in your honor". If people try to RSVP for more, you call them and say "we are unable to accommodate any guests who were not specifically invited, I will understand if you are unable to attend, but we hope you and Mr. Smith will be able to make it"

I will limit this very short . I would let them RSVP their guests only if they are married or engaged . No kids could come other then my own personal family or none at all . Per person can get very costly so be careful . it's ok to put your foot down and say no .

I had no idea that a SO is not considered a plus one. So I would invite (Ex: Jasmine SO:James +1 Julie) @emma

Definitely rude to respond to a coworkers wedding with a significant other and 5 plus ones.

You indicate how many guests she's allowed on the RSVP card included with the invite. I'm convinced that a lot of people are just ignorant of how rude this is until they actually have to plan and pay for a wedding themselves.

I would explain to her that you only have a budget for a certain amount of people. If she is truly your friend, she will understand that you can't accommodate for a family that big. If there are going to be other children there, you should also tell her that they will be there because they are family not because you are picking favorites.

A person's SO is always invited, no matter how long they've been dating or how "serious" it is. You don't need to invite the children of your coworker. You are allowed to invite children in different circles. Ex: Just your children, just immediate family's children, extended family's children.

You need to figure out if you're allowing kids or not. If not, invitation goes out to Mr and Mrs Smith.... if she RSVPs for 6 people, you're gonna have to make an awkward phone call.

No I have't done invites yet. Just collecting address on The Knot and people have the option to RSVP on the website

Plus ones are an offer you can extend to truly single guests on your guest list to bring a date of their choice.

All relationships and significant others or your guests should be clearly invited by name, since they are a social unit. The choice of whether or not you want to include children or have an adults only wedding is up to you - but consistency is key! Pick a rule and stick with it across the board.

Addressing your invitations to make it explicitly clear who is invited is your best bet here! And no - no one should be RSVPing for additional guests, or changing their plus one to a plus six. If you do have guests RSVP for additional uninvited guests, you need to reach out to them privately and individually to let them know that you will not be able to accommodate additional guests.

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Only significant others. I wouldn't invite the whole family unless you are friendly with the family and truly want them as guests.

This is up to you.

We aren't inviting children, so we just have plus ones for single guests.

How many people are on your guest list? That dictates how many plus ones to invite.

You only have to invite SOs. Keep in mind that an SO is not a plus one. A plus one goes to a single guest that you want to give the option to bring a random date/friend. If a guest has an SO (married, engaged, in a dating relationship), they are a social unit and you must invite both your friend and the SO by name on the invitation.

You do not have to include someone's kids, but you can. We chose to invite the kids of all our guests. The names of the kids were listed on the envelopes of the invitations so it was clear that they were all invited. We took the headcount of kids into consideration when we created our guest list, though.

You and FH need to decide if you want kids at your wedding. If not, that's okay. Have an adult only wedding. Address your wedding invitations only to the adults in each household and their SOs. Don't list the names of the kids on the envelopes or address them to "and Family." You're good. You can add the "__ seats reserved in your honor" line in your RSVP card to remind guests the invite is only for those you named on the envelope.

Or, decide to invite kids in circles. Kids in the WP only. Kids in the WP and direct relatives only (direct meaning your kids and yours and FH's nieces and nephews). Kids in the WP and all kids of relatives only. If any of your BMs or GM have kids, it can be okay to include their children. Decide on a clear line that won't split up a particular family and go with it.

No matter how you do this, though, kids of coworkers are going to be the last circle of kids. A close friend or family member would find it odd that you allowed a co-worker to bring her kids and they could not bring theirs. Unless you decide to include all children, you'll be tactfully explaining to this co-worker that you cannot accommodate her children and hope her and her SO can still make it.

We are allowing kids. But we asked about kids and got different price under 5 was free, 6-12 was 50% off and 13 and up full price. So it was not as bad.

So rude for her to say that. you are in no way obligated to invite your coworkers children. however, she does get to bring her husband.

As far as other guests(family) you can decide if you want their children to be invited. Obviously mothers with infants are the exception to the rule