How Long Is Your Engagement?

View Quoted Comment A super small ceremony and reception is a good compromise between eloping and a large wedding! And haha, I totally understand the amount of anticipation for the day. What all do you have left to plan for your wedding?

View Quoted Comment Very cool! That seems like an ideal length for an engagement!

View Quoted Comment It’s been great, I’ve confirmed all my vendors back in end of sept, got my dress and shoes, ironed out high level wedding timelines and designed my hand drawn invitations. How’s your planning going so far?

We got engaged on September 14, 2019 and originally planned for a August 15, 2020 wedding, however covid changed everything and we were engaged for just under two years.

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We are basically done. We got really lucky in that the part of the state we are getting married is not an area that has a lot of weddings. So all of the vendors we chose were available with only 8-10 months notice. We are getting married on our 10-year anniversary so our date was non-negotiable.

It also helped that we already pretty much knew what we wanted (and didn't want) and we were on the same page with most things from the start.

Engaged November 2020 and will be getting married in September 2023!

View Quoted Comment Happy Holidays Lisa,


We are eloping in Asheville, NC which is five hours from my home. If you're not familiar with it, it is near the Great Smoky Mountains so absolutely breathtaking scenery. Our wedding will be outdoors at 7:30 pm just when the sun is hovering close to the mountains. It's one of the places we're thinking of moving to once I retire.

About 3 years ago, we got engaged the December before the pandemic and we are getting married this summer. Although, this was the original plan so we could afford a 50-70 ish people wedding. COVID just meant we didn't have to answer prying questions about why we planned a long engagement. Not that as an engaged couple you should have to explain your plan to people, but it is so much easier to let people assume it's because of the pandemic. I answered one person honestly and I got a pedantic lecture on finances from someone who lived in a very different world when they got married, started a career etc. Despite knowing this, the belittling commentary on our life really made me feel depressed. We all have different paths, different opportunities, and setbacks. Having a good work ethic, and a good heart does not always put you on a fast track. I think a lot of young couples are all struggling with the financial barriers we have in this era. But every once in a while I feel reluctant to talk to older folks when they start asking questions about our engagement length.

Getting married should be joyful. I've gotten very good advice from some people on things to keep in mind to make things easier and a lot of good reminders to enjoy this time. But everyone in a while I get some very unkind, unsolicited commentary. I know that's not uncommon for young brides and grooms, but man it can really be hurtful and unproductive. In the end, I'm glad we choose a long engagement. We'll be getting married on our 10th anniversary of dating. But both being together so long and being engaged for 3 years has been a blessing. We've changed so much as people during the last 9 years, and we've had a chance to grow together. Every version of my partner he's grown into over the years I've fallen in love with. I think when I was 19 I didn't really consider how the person you choose will change during your life together, because of course no one stays the same. At 29, I now realize - if we are fortunate to have another 60 years together, it just means I will have many more to fall chances to fall in love with who my fiance becomes over the next 60 years. I feel like the advantage to having long engagements, or even dating is having the chance to learn that before you get married. A short engagement for us as a couple would have been too stressful. We needed the time.

We are both children of divorce, and like a lot of people, it means we've thought through thousands of times what broke our parent's marriages. And although I certainly don't think there's a simple answer, but I think at least one factor is when you go through your first changes as a person with a partner, it can be unexpected, because people don't stay exactly the same, and it leaves you feeling disconnected. We've already experienced that, particularly when we first moved in together and that was hard. I think at the time, had we already been married we might have felt trapped and like strangers falling apart. Instead, we knew we had the freedom to move on if it didn't work out, so we were able to give things time to adjust and nurture each other through our changes and we grew together instead of apart. It made any changes we experienced over the last 9 years a bonding experience, even if they were tough. We always end up stronger and more supportive of each other. I am very glad about that.

I'm glad we did our long engagement the way we did and had the time to learn the things we have about each other. I know the way we've done things is not the perfect format for everyone, but it worked for us As a bonus, I also had three years to plan our wedding so this last year there's not much to do but get excited

I’ve been with my fiancé since 2015, we got engaged Valentine’s Day 2016 and our wedding date is 5/4/2024! So our engagement has been a long one!

FH and I got engaged in November and will be married October 2023, so 11 months total! Neither of wanted a long engagement so less than a year is perfect for us!

View Quoted Comment So exciting!! Just over a year is a decent length for an engagement. How has your wedding planning been going so far?

View Quoted Comment It may seem so far away right now, but time will go by quick!! My husband and I had to postpone our wedding from July 2020 to July 2022 due to COVID. Once we postponed, I had thought the two years would feel like forever, but they honestly flew by! I was also grateful for the extra time to tweak our wedding plans to more of what we wanted. No matter which date you choose, it'll be here before you know it! Congratulations on your engagement!

View Quoted Comment Its going pretty well! We've been trying to do little things everywhere to not get overwhelmed. Our big vendors are all booked which is a major relief! Luckily we are having a small wedding (40 people) so it isn't too bad. 🙂

View Quoted Comment You could totally still incorporate Disney into your barn wedding! Hidden Mickeys in your details (arranging roses into a Mickey Mouse shape, adding it into the design on your cake, etc), naming your tables after Disney characters instead of numbering them (and your centerpieces could each be themed towards that table's Disney movie), Disney themed favors, etc. Here are some inspiration photos I found on Pinterest for Disney wedding decor:

View Quoted Comment Awesome that you are moving ahead with your date regardless of what COVID tries to do!

View Quoted Comment Very cool, you've got a lot done! Awesome that you are designing your own wedding invitations. Do you have a photo of what they'll look like? I'd love to see them! Glad to hear planning has been going well for you so far. My wedding planning is finally over! My husband and I were originally supposed to get married in July 2020, though thanks to COVID, we postponed to July 2022. After our wedding, we've been busy with writing thank you notes, preserving my bouquet and my dresses, reviewing vendors, ordering our photo album, etc. We just finished our last wedding task a couple weeks ago (though we're still waiting for our wedding video, so I suppose I have one more vendor review to write once we get our video back).

View Quoted Comment Absolutely because unfortunately it’s never going to go away so we just learning to work around it.

Engaged December 2021 and getting married July 2023. 19 months. We knew it was going to be a Summer wedding based on our destination, so we decided to wait until the following year so that we were not getting married right away that summer!

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Hi Michele!!! We are getting married in July 2023 as well close to Asheville. We will be in Banner Elk/Boone, NC area in the mountains!

View Quoted Comment Hi Amanda,
Asheville is for lovers, lol! Congratulations!!! We are getting married on the 30th. I hope all goes well on your wedding day!