How does one politely uninvite a guest?

You don't "politely" uninvite a guest. You recognize that uninviting a guest will be seen as rude and friendship-ending.

And doing that for something the friend did is one thing. Doing it because the friend is being abused is quite another. Unless you are inviting friend's dad to the wedding, the dad's conduct should not have any bearing on this.

Have you already sent out invitations? If you haven't just don't send one. Will the groomsmen be doing anything like getting a restraining order or anything? If he does the dad can't come anyway

Honestly I would be super nervous to deliver that news because this guy is obviously unstable and who knows what he's going to do to whomever delivers him "bad" news. But I definitely get why you don't want him there... I wouldn't want to be worried about whether or not he was going to shoot someone at my wedding either. In all seriousness, is the son filing charges? Do you mind me asking how the situation ended? Did the son disarm his dad? Did the dad give it up on his own? Were the cops involved?

ETA: Yeah I didn't look at your date at first. Hopefully you haven't sent invites yet, which makes this really easy. Don't send him one.

I assume the guest you're uninviting is the dad? Have you send invitations yet? If not just don't send one. If you have it gets more complicated, but honestly I wouldn't want him there either.

I agree - just don't send the invite.

I'm assuming you are trying on uninvite his the GM's father? In this situation, I don't think your focus should be on how to be polite, but rather how to be cautious and safe. Have the invitations already gone out? If not, just don't send one.

I did just send them out. Theirs was already received and the entire family told us they'd be there. Yes the guest I want to uninvite is the crazy dad, not the groomsman. He is not pressing charges nor did he call the cops even though FH and I urged him to. His dad gets workers comp and it's the only income coming into their household right now since his mom isn't working. The groomsman works and also owns his own landscaping company but he's just been staying with his parents recently until he can find a roommate to split rent with elsewhere. The situation ended by his dad putting the gun down and yelling a bit more, and when best friend/groomsman asked his mom (who was in the room and saw all of this) why she'd let his dad do that she replied "Well you DID embarrass him" bc apparently after he punched his son and his son tried restraining him so he wouldn't get punched anymore... that embarrassed him that his son retrained him.... and that's what lead to him pulling the gun. This dad takes opiates for a knee and back issue so he legally shouldn't even OWN any guns right now. FH is giving best friend/groomsman a hard shelled gun case with locks so best friend/groomsman can lock the guns away so this doesn't happen again.

If I had the means to I would invite gm to live e with us til he got on his feet and tell both the parents to stay the he'll away, no politeness needed, but I have my own issues with situations like that.

@Elphaba I really don't know. He started working a graveyard shift and has been suuuuuper grouchy lately. Our argument escalated to yelling and I think he thought telling me what Bff/Gm's dad said would hurt me. When we got over the fight (which is always about 5 minutes after one of our stubborn asses shuts up) he said to disregard that because Bff/Gm's dad is always intoxicated and saying stupid things. Also always trying to instigate shit.

@SnowQueen we don't have room to let him stay here, but FH has known this friend since 2nd grade so FMIL and FSIL also know this friend really well and both have offered to let him stay with them bc they do have room and they know he's a good guy and his family life has always been less than ideal.

I am confused as to who is getting uninvited? If it's the Dad then I am not sure why he would have been invited in the first place. If it's the groom's friend then I would imagine you can have your FH talk to him and say that even though he values his friendship that both he and his fiancé do not feel comfortable having him at the wedding just in case his Dad decided to show up and do something crazy and that they hope it wouldn't effect the friendship. Good luck!

Edit after I read some more information. I would NOT care about hurting any member of that family's feelings. Tell every one of them they're uninvited. The Mom thought it was okay to pull a guy because he embarrassed his Dad?! Holy crap... just delete that from your lives. Poor groomsman...

If he doesn't like you that much, why would he even go to the wedding? Tell the parents that due to recent circumstances, you are no longer comfortable with having them as guests at your wedding.

Sorry...etiquette can go too far and in circumstances when someone has been and may feel threatened, it doesn't apply. The GM and your FH have been friends since childhood and there are issues within his family. If your GM feels threatened having his father at the wedding, the father needs to be told that he is not welcome to attend under the present circumstances.

As I stated before I don't really know his dad, we've seen each other when FH would stop by to help with car troubles they had or to fix something in the kitchen etc... but Bff/Gm's dad and I don't talk and don't know each other. He's known FH the majority of FH's life and that's why he wants to attend the wedding. In fact he has a really creepy obsession with my FH and will call him and leave voice-mails or tell him in person when he's over there "I love you so much man! You're so great! *sobbing* I just really wish you were my son!" And more often than not he'll do it in front of Bff/Gm just so he can make him feel like shit. FH has called Bff/Gm's dad out on this before. And I just found out that he's recently been getting some tests done to decide if he's mentally stable or not. I'm not afraid of this man, but I don't want him at my wedding or reception. Especially since the entire neighborhood knows his pillow popping/opiate problem and how those + alcohol = him FUBAR-ed. I'm guessing if I let this fire burn down a bit and then let him know after tensions have cooled that he's no longer invited that there shouldn't be too big of a fuss. I don't know though.

Oh he sounds like a gem. I would leave it alone for your safety. If he is still fighting with his son he probably won't show up anyways. Talk to the best man and see how he feels about it.

We uninvited a guest, who had broken up with her bf and was a lot of drama. She texted me about when to return the RSVP and I as nice as possible said that it was better if she wasn't there because we wanted her ex bf to enjoy himself because he was such a long time friend of my DH.

So you could go that route, due to your recent fight with GM we think it's best you aren't there so he can fully enjoy himself, we hope you understand and are sad to have to make this decision

Yikes! You already sent out the invite so that doesn't help. You have two months, so see if the situation gets any better. I would suggest uninviting him, but he sounds unstable and that makes me nervous for you and FH!

"This dad takes opiates for a knee and back issue so he legally shouldn't even OWN any guns right now."

What? I don't think this is true. What law are you referring to here?

In this situation and this situation alone, I think it's okay to break etiquette and uninvite the father. I would also have security on-hand.

No matter what you do, do NOT listen to @VeganWifey. What she did was rude AF and should never be repeated by anyone.

I highly doubt that type of man would come to a wedding anyway.

Hire security.