How does one politely uninvite a guest?

Veganwifey.... that was so rude.

@VeganWifey......that was a total miscall. It rather sounds like you chose one friend over another.

@Elizabeth K in California you cannot purchase a gun if you are using a controlled substance. They won't sell to you even if it's something minor like Marijuana. So he quite literally illegally obtained a gun. He's been using a controlled substance (the opiates) before he got that gun. It could legally be seized from him. Not to mention the mental health issue. Anyone with mental health issues aren't allowed to possess or buy a gun (this excludes anxiety and depression)

Granted, I don't live in CA, but I find it hard to believe that you're understanding the law correctly. If that's true, then no one with ADHD on a stimulant medication, prescribed by their doctor, can have a gun in CA, not to mention the fact that it's illegal to even have access to a person's medical record. Possibly the law is saying that illegal use or misuse of a controlled substance is what makes you ineligible? Also, comparing marijuana to prescription opiates is wrong. Marijuana is illegal while prescription opiates, as deemed necessary by a physician, is not.

Also, unless he actually has a mental health diagnosis by a professional who has seen and evaluated him, you shouldn't be making one.

Marijuana is not illegal in California if you have a Cannabis card. And opiates are classified as a mind altering drug. If you use either Marijuana or opiates you cannot buy a gun.

I posted the full situation on here. Regarding ex girlfriends insane behaviors, and the fact that she was sleeping with multiple people attending the wedding. And all comments said to uninvite.

@mrsa she wasn't a friend, simply invited because they are a couple

Https://m.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/uninviting-wedding-guests/d4e844c97ab5322d

I apologize to others for going on about this, but I still think this isn't right. Marijuana users can't buy a gun because marijuana is illegal by federal law, which trumps state law. This article explains it pretty well and given this, I find it extremely hard to believe that anyone under LEGAL use of a prescription medication can't buy a gun.

http://abc30.com/politics/locals-react-after-9th-us-circuit-court-marijuana-users-can-not-buy-a-gun/1495114/

And, in fact, this article states that legal opiate users are not under the same restrictions as marijuana users.

http://www.laweekly.com/news/stoners-and-guns-dont-mix-california-court-says-7333960

Anyway, out of respect for others, I'll let it go at this point, but I've searched and searched and can't find anything about legal prescription drug users being denied guns in CA, only those who abuse or misuse. Don't get me wrong, I think guns should be illegal, in general, but I have a huge problem with a state discriminating against certain people only if they are following state and federal law, which is why I spoke up.

There's no "polite" way to uninvite a guest, but it's YOUR wedding and you don't need to be polite. You have enough stress planning a wedding, you should not have to also worry about whether someone is going to get drunk/violent at your wedding. I'd let the GM know that his family is no longer invited and have your FH call the dad and tell him. My cousin recently uninvited our grandma and my dad to his wedding because they were causing too much drama. There were hurt feelings but the day of the wedding was drama free and the bride and groom did not regret their decision!

This is so interesting! I just applied and took my test in CA to get a shotgun, already applied and took the test to get a handgun but it was expired, I don't remember on either application being asked if I was a medical marijuana user. And had no idea that law existed, even though I just studied for the test. But maybe since I don't have my medical marijuana card I didn't give it much thought.

I'm so curious now how it applies to someone who already owns a gun, or someone who no longer has an active card, or how they verify the information, or what the punishment is.

I will definitely be researching this out of curiosity!

"There's no "polite" way to uninvite a guest, but it's YOUR wedding and you don't need to be polite."

Hopefully, no one listens to this. Uninviting people is a case-by-case thing and in this case, I agree with the decision to uninvite due to SAFETY. Anyone uninviting for "drama" is rude AF and not someone others should emulate.

My FH used to have a medical Marijuana card before we met. He noticed last year when he got his firearms safety certificate that it asked if you are prescribed a mind altering drug or have a medical Marijuana card and thought "Hmm good thing I don't anymore" and no the government can't hunt you down or ask for your medical records, but if something happens with you that involves a gun and you go to court where any of your records can be released... you can get into more trouble for lying about using mind altering drugs. Say Bff/Gm's dad does shoot him (God forbid) and it's going to trial and they find out that not only did he injure or kill someone with a firearm but he purchased one while taking mind altering drugs... he gets that much more added to his sentence. It's something you want to be proactive about and make sure you're abiding by the law because even though the government doesn't know, they might find out down the line. Then you're in shit creek.

And I doubt a stimulant for ADHD would count .... stimulants do not intoxicate you. You are allowed to drive while on medication for attention disorders. You however are not allowed to drive while on opiates... prescribed or not. Marijuana is an issue with guns because of the fact that presently it is federal law that it's illegal to use. Which is why they specifically ask about having a medical Marijuana card.

I know I said I was done, but I just can't allow misinformation to remain. Stimulants ARE mind-altering drugs. And FYI, you ARE allowed to drive despite a prescription for opiates. You shouldn't drive until you know how it affects you (and you will be held liable if you do and crash), but do you really think you have to surrender your driver's license because you have a back injury that requires prescription opiates? Seriously, just stop passing off misinformation. There are people on opiates chronically who have every legal authority to drive. If your logic was true, then anyone who ever drank a beer would be denied a driver's license. Goodness.

Overexaggerating much?

I think you're confused about which one of us is exaggerating (no such word as overexaggerating). Just stop posting inaccurate information.

Ashley, you're incorrect. I think Amanda Reiman, the manager of marijuana law and policy at the Drug Policy Alliance in California, knows more about this specific subject than a lot of people. I read the same article that Elizabeth did, and in that article, the subject of opiates and gun ownership is directly addressed by Reiman. From the article: "Reiman suggests that the ruling is based on a faulty stereotype of medical pot users as unstable. She also notes that opiate users and alcoholics face no such constitutional discrimination." That settles it for me.

You do not have to surrender your driver's license (at least in NY) if you are being prescribed narcotics and mood altering drugs. Of course, you don't want to take 10 Valium and get behind the wheel of a car, but no doctor would be prescribing that dosage anyway -- not to someone who had the wherewithal to get up, get dressed, and go to work, school, or the store.

Onto the other subject, "politely uninviting" is an oxymoron. It's never polite to uninvite, but sometimes exceptions have to made -- exceptions in which being seen as impolite are secondary. I don't know why this man spoke badly about you, and I don't know why your FH would use information like that in a "little argument", especially since it would have absolutely no power to hurt you (if you don't even know this man, how could he know anything about you unless that info was passed on by somebody who does know you?). I'd actually be concerned about FH quoting an angry, ill man (who said you are no good and he should get out while he can) to fortify whatever point he was making in the argument (and honestly, if a potential guest said something that horrible about me in FH's hearing, I wouldn't have to disinvite him -- FH would have done it on the spot).

The truth is that you received one side of a story. Did the GM start the argument? Was a gun pulled? Was it really loaded? Why is the mother giving her side of the story, and to whom is she giving it? Why did the issue of the father taking opiates even come up?

Of course, if the guy pulled a loaded gun, the police should have been called. The fact that he's on Workman's Comp is a non-issue. If someone pulled a loaded gun on me, even if it were my father, I would have called the police -- especially if the man was living with my mother -- that's far too risky for my blood. I'd do everything in my power to make a record -- at the very least.

In any event, it's your call. If you actually believe this man is capable of pulling out a loaded gun or beating someone at your wedding, then you have no choice but to disinvite.

VeganWifey -- that was an incredibly classless and horrible thing to do. How could even you begin to compare that nonsense to what this OP is talking about? You invited the woman to your wedding, and then you waited until SHE CALLED YOU to disinvite her? What weapon did she pull? Oh, no weapon, you say? Oh...she was causing drama and sleeping around? Sleeping around. That is absolutely none of your business, and if her ex-boyfriend didn't like it and couldn't survive five or six hours with her in the same reception hall without causing drama over it, perhaps he should have been the one to stay home. Wow.

I was never worried about him bringing a gun to my wedding, just that he did that to his son and that type of erratic behavior should not go unnoticed. Yes GM should have called the cops and when he was over later that night we tried to tell him to pick up the phone and call and press charges. In the end it is up to him..... we can call the cops for him bc we were only told of the incident but did not witness it and only he can press charges against his dad so.... oh well. I don't know what to do except uninvite the bastard that would point a gun at his son loaded or not. Bff/Gm said his dad keeps the gun loaded due to paranoia and his dad chambered it right in front of him and pointed it at his face. This is a good guy and the first person FH met after moving to this city in 2nd grade and although it's possible Bff/Gm could've lied about it... yes... anyone is capable of lying. But I think we're both going to believe him on this since we know him well. I told FMIL about the situation and she was shocked at how it escalated but not that it happened. She said as long as she's known Bff/Gm and his family (12-13 years) his dad has always been abusive and the mom never did jack shit about it. She said Bff/Gm needs to find a friend to stay with and try not to be around his dad as much as possible and suggested I wait until a bit later to tell Bff/Gm's dad he will not be allowed to come to my wedding due to recent events.

Just don't send him an invitation.