How do you handle uninvited guests?

You can hire security.

Meaning have security ask them to leave?

I read an etiquette post that should someone rudely bring an uninvited guest, that every effort should be made to accommodate. That being said... we're having assigned tables and a plated meal, so your ass won't have a place to sit or a thing to eat. #embarrassing

This is not something I'd want to let slide, it's so rude. If it does happen, I pray that it's taken care of without my knowledge. That's exactly the kind of thing that would sour me BAD.

Sorry, I'm on mobile I can't search for the topic. Yes I would be SO livid, but I seriously have a feeling it's going to happen. I'm also having assigned tables and exact amount of chairs. They'd be the type to ask for a chair to pull up lol! I hope the god they grow some smarts between now and oct 14. They've already had some rude comments about how we're hosting, who we're inviting, etc.

No, you don't hire security unless you have a TRO against someone.

This is how you handle it. You address the invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Once they open the envelope, the RSVP card will say that you have reserved 2 seats in their honor. If they, as people do, just scratch that out and add "6 people", you have no choice but to get on the phone with them and set them straight.

You say, "There's been a miscommunication. We've invited you and _____ to the wedding. We can't possibly accommodate your four children. If that's a deal breaker for you, we do understand. We just hope you'll be with us in spirit."

No negotiation. End of discussion. You have to be firm or you'll be taking your cash gifts and using them to pay for people who were never invited guests. Oh, and there's no reason to apologize for a kid free wedding. They don't love weddings any more than you love their five year old, super hero themed, birthday parties.

No. You cant hire security bc it is rude.

Stick to the guests on the RSVP. Do the we have reserved __(3 or 4) seats in your honor.. and __ will be attending.

Then when you get the RSVPs and they try to ask for extra people, tactfully make it known, that you have your final headcount for dining and seating.

If they RSVP for more than the allotted number of seats for people who weren't named on the envelope, you can just call and let them know that you're sorry for any confusion, but you cannot accommodate the extra guests and hope that [insert names of invited guests] will still be able to attend, but you understand if that's not possible. I know the confusion won't be from anything you did, but it's the gracious way to point out so-and-so wasn't invited. They'll then be able to say, "oh okay, yes just ____ and I will still maybe able to make it," or, "no, we won't be able to come," and it will be settled by the end of the phone call.

It's really hard if they actually show up. Many caterers prepare a certain percentage extra in case a few extra guests show up. The gracious thing to do as a host if someone who isn't invited or neglected to RSVP shows up is to welcome them and make it work. But, you can follow up with any guests who don't send in their RSVPs after the date passed to ask if they are coming. You'll end up asking specifically for the number of people who are coming from that household because you'll need a headcount for your caterer, and if they start listing names of extra people they want to bring with them, you'll be able to clarify that the invitation was only for ____ and ____, not the kids. That should prevent any of your non responders from showing up, and will also prevent people from intentionally not RSVPing because they think they can sneak extra guests in with them by not RSVPing for their group ahead of time.

@centerpiece yea I totally get that, but I'm just wondering how I should handle people bringing guests without RSVP-ing for them

NVM I misread what you said about it. I think it would be hard for me to be gracious, especially if multiple people do it and food is running low

I had one at my first wedding - I pulled up a chair and fed her. It was fine.

Danielle, you have to contact anyone who adds more guests than you have invited. If they actually RSVPed for two people but show up with six, then they will be the ones dealing with their rudeness. The parents are told, by the venue manager, that there has been a mistake. There is no seating and no meal for the four uninvited guests. You leave that problem exactly where it belongs -- with the parents who ignored a formal invitation and decided to bring uninvited guests. Tell your venue manager not to budge. The parents either leave with their children or they find a babysitter in short order. Nobody has the right to bring uninvited guests to your wedding. Nobody.

If you've actually spoken to these guests and made it clear that there will no seating for anyone else they intend to bring, then whatever happens is on them, not you.

What is etiquette for letting guests know their RSVP is really important ? Me and FH are used to hosting things and some we invite not say anything at all yet still show up.

We have included for an extra table just in case in our budget but we want to figure out a way to stress that RSVP is needed if you are attending or even not attending many think RSVP is only for if you are attending an event

Centerpiece: im so thankful for your response. This is a huge fear of mine, and it happened at my sister's, and cousin's wedding this past year. Reading your response puts me at ease and I will get with my venue manager about not budging.

That makes perfect sense. I guess if they're ok with sitting there without a plate then it won't really affect me if they're there or not.

Mochaloctte, if you have guests who haven't responded a couple of days after your RSVP cutoff date, you or FH call them to ask if they will be attending. If they um and ah, then say "please let us know within 48 hours, otherwise we will assume you are not attending."

If they add people to their RSVP card, call them straightaway and set the record straight. You are paying and there is a certain amount of seats and food, but if you don't call them and let them know what the deal is when you first see the problem, then you will be expected to accommodate. I however will be discussing an arrangement with my venue because I have my parents who aren't invited who might show up and cause a problem, so the venues have pictures of them on hand. Also, I was planning to provide the venue with a list of the final guest count, or at least have everyone hand their invitation when they arrive. Perhaps that's something that might work for you as well, if they decide to disregard your phone call?

What do you do if it's not a plated dinner, and more of a family style dinner. Anyone could just request another chair and squeeze right into the table. I'm also worried my parents will be inviting their guests (we are paying for our wedding) and their friends will be inviting their kids which we do not want. But my parents are also traditional asians and said I can't exclude kids cause its rude. But I dont even know their friends, let alone let them bring kids I don't want or know.