Candi
Dedicated September 2022

How do you explain to the groom you want a certain venue?

Candi, on September 13, 2021 at 9:26 PM Posted in Planning 0 30
Saved
Reply
I’m some how very intrigued by a venue and it’s history! I feel a connection. He has no idea what he wants.. but I’m drawn to this place.
It’s affordable too and perfect for our small wedding. So I’m know it’s a fit.

30 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.a, on September 18, 2021 at 5:07 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    Simpler have a conversation with him & let him know the connection. Also, maybe you both can tour the venue together.
    • Reply
  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this - suggest you go look at venues over the weekend so he can see some for himself. He might fall in love with it just as much as you have!

    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I did tell him. He saw it and thinks it’s nice. But he seems to want a beach wedding in September.. hurricane season in Florida. So everyone suggested indoor. I thought it through and agree. I allowed him to pick the date as he asked. I pick so much more so I gave him that opportunity. But I really want this venue without sounding demanding, pushy or a bridzilla 😜
    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    Since hes already seen the venue maybe sit down with him and show him research on other venues you have looked at and why this one is better than the others. Thats what I did, we went and looked at our venue and then we sat down and I showed him the cost and what comes with the others I had looked at and he agreed that the one I wanted was what worked best for us.
    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Hi.. yes we talked about that. I think he was set on the beach. Yet he picked September 2022 which here in Florida is hurricane season. So I don’t know how to sway him to here.
    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Maybe ask him why the beach is so important to him and have you talked about hurricane season together?
    • Reply
  • Griswold
    May 2019
    Griswold ·
    • Flag

    Perhaps start with "Planning a beach wedding during hurricane season is probably not a wise move, maybe we should discuss alternatives..."

    • Reply
  • R
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Rick ·
    • Flag

    Oh we just talked. She added some details and requests, I added few. No problem at all. Maybe some problems are due to the fact that people are afraid to talk. IDK.

    I compromised that there will be a stand with retro video consoles https://romsplanet.com/roms/nintendo-64 and she compromised with a rock music band that I picked up.

    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We talk all the time. I’m 50.. he’s 60.
    He wants to marry on the beach in September.. hurricane season. The month he chose.
    So I don’t want to be negative but everyone says how crazy that is. I found a perfect indoor one. So many to choose.. but this one hit me. It’s history, it’s quaint space. I love it.I’ve brought it up. As well as others.But I really want this place. And it’s very affordable unlike many other. As well as it allows me to bring personal touches to it. Some do not!So I just want to say… I picked the venue..,I have expressed how I’m drawn to this place and why. He seems to think we have plenty of time to hold a venue for a wedding that’s under a year away. Im finding that’s not true. I’ve told him that as well. He set on a beach wedding. No o e wants to be hot in Florida at our age and our parents ages…70-80’sPlus we chance a storm 🥺
    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    😂
    Been there, done that. He doesn’t seem to get it because the weather changes constantly and no guarantee it will rain or storm or have a hurricane. That’s what he thinks and says!
    If you read thru comments… I’ve tried everything’s to hint and explain to him. He seems to think it’s only a small chance so he wants that. He’s 60. I’m 50. It’s to hot to do that and our parents expressed they don’t want to be outside. He says it’s only 30 minutes 🤦‍♀️🥺😳
    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    He loves the beach. Everything is about the beach to him. Spare time, boating, his email & other passwords all beach related! He’s just obsessed. I thought it was a great idea until he chose September!
    I let him choose because men have very little to do in wedding planning. So if he asked me he gets to pick the date when he feels he is comfortable and fully ready. He chose September.. hurricane season 🤦‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Haha yea trying to get decisions from my FH is like pulling teeth.
    • Reply
  • R
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Rick ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I relate. I hope you will manage to explain to him. Love always finds the path

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    If you don't seem to be on the same page, I would recommend just touring more venues with an open mind, the two of you together. You may find something you both like more, or after seeing more options he may end up realizing that what he is looking for doesn't exist, or the venue you feel a connection with is actually a better option than he originally realized. Sometimes you need to do a more thorough search and see some less ideal options to realize how good one is and feel confident in your decision.

    I researched several venues online before my now husband and I went to visit them. There was one venue I was pretty sure I would love, and when we saw it together in person we were both really leaning towards it. But we made sure to look at two additional venues we were considering before making a decision. Even though we both kinda knew it was what we wanted, it was good to have something to compare it to before making a final decision.

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Sounds like you two need to work together to find a compromise. You can’t go in and say “I picked the venue” precisely the same as you’re not letting him pick his first choice. It sounds like he DOES know what he wants, you just don’t agree with it, and vice versa— you know what you want but he’s not biting because it’s not what he wants. I would recommend backing up to square one. Start fresh and each come up with a list of top things you need/want in a venue , then prioritize their importance, compare lists, and and come up with a new list together with each of your most important wants. Then compare that against venues you’ve seen and maybe check out some more.
    Another idea would be to try to plan for a ceremony on the beach (as long as weather cooperates!) and a reception at your preferred venue, so you both get a piece of what you want.

    Remember the perfect venue for a wedding is never the one that YOU like best— it’s the one that manages to suit both your wants and needs. If it doesn’t do that, if it doesn’t make both partners happy, it isn’t the perfect place.
    • Reply
  • Brianna
    Dedicated September 2023
    Brianna ·
    • Flag

    If he doesn't know what he wants, then how do you know he doesn't want the place you love? Plus, if you're super in love with it and passionate about it, and he truly loves you and wants to see you happy, he's not going to put up a fight.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    My husband and I were actually opposites on this! He was the one who found our wedding location and talked me into it which made me fall in love with it also. He found the venue and I did the rest which made it easier IMO.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
    • Flag

    Yes, agree with previous posters….compromise and agree on a venue you BOTH like. Obviously he does know what he wants…he wants a beach wedding, and does not want to have it at the venue you chose, so I would move on until you find a venue you mutually agree on.

    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    He wants to do beach and seems oblivious of the fact it could be ruined! At his age it’s hard to get him to think outside the box!
    I can pick whatever I want but I want him into this too! But beach just can’t be a good decision in hurricane season in FL🤦‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Candi
    Dedicated September 2022
    Candi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    He wants outdoors beach so that’s how I know he doesn’t want my venue. As I’ve stated many times… he wants a beach wedding. Do anything indoor he’s not interested! I’m trying to be realistic because it’s hurricane season then!
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics