How Do You Deal With racist Family???

You did nothing wrong. If they don’t want to support you, choose disrespect your relationship and judge an entire race of people based on the actions of some then they don’t deserve to be at a celebration of your love for each other. I wouldn’t want anyone at my wedding or around my family/children with this mind set. Being racist is choice and they are choosing hate over loving a member of their family.


I would say it’s better if they don’t come and cause a scene or make anyone uncomfortable. In time they may come around but if not it’s their loss.
You can only control yourself. It’ll be hard knowing they won’t be there but you shouldn’t stress yourself over things you can’t change. Focus on the good.

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Well said!

I'm sorry this is part of what you have to deal with, choose not to deal with it. You will be better off and its their loss.

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Its hard but your right. I have to focus on myself and the good.

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Its what my fiance says too. Im better off without the drama

Unfortunately when it comes to racist family members, you need to be realistic that no matter what you say or do, you will not change their minds on the matter of race, if you choose to associate with them. You either need to cut them off or accept that if you have them in your life, they will always be like this.

You have done nothing wrong. The fact that your family would rather miss your wedding than accept that you are marrying someone of a background/skin colour they don’t agree with speaks volumes about them. Consider it that they’re doing you a favour by not attending your wedding and causing you grief.

I hope someday they’ll come around and apologize (especially if you’ll have kids they’ll want to see). So sad you don’t have their support but best they are not there with their lack of support. May your wedding day be blessed with extra love from your fiancé’s family and all your friends! ♥️ ♥️

There comes a time when you unfortunately have to cut ties with family. Another branch of relatives who are racist while you are not and you are in an interracial relationship counts as a valid reason to go no contact. Cut ties, do not contact them or engage when they interact, and in turn, do not invite them to your wedding.

I can relate to this a lot. I'm biracial, half black and half white. Hubby is white. Hubby's mother and father have voiced their dislike of me due to my race & they didn't come to our wedding, rarely Talk to hubby, and have always treated me at arms length. Instead of getting to know me, they judged me due to my race and his mom even told me "you're not like the typical black person " like what is that supposed to mean. Currently we only talk to and have a relationship with my parents. It took him awhile to sort through his feelings but at the end of the day we are happy. Definitely don't let this become a barrier in your marriage because it started to for us until we sorted out feelings. It's your family's loss, and they will be missing out on so much. But keep your head up and stay strong!

Every time I see a thread or something like this it instantly makes me sad that this is still a thing. You've done NOTHING wrong. I was in a similar situation at one point in my life, but on the receiving end...I was engaged to an Indian man, and his family hated me just because I am white and they didn't want him with a white woman. It was hard to deal with, but ultimately we decided that they just wouldn't be included in anything and he was okay with that. I had to help him with being okay with that by offering support and a shoulder to cry on when things got tough for him realizing his family might not be part of his life, though. Your family probably won't change their views any time soon unless some kind of miracle or even happens. So I would say start working on letting yourself work through that to get to a point of being okay with them not being there for your wedding day. There will be plenty of others who are extremely happy for you and want to celebrate your love (including us on this forum)! I'm so sorry you even have to deal with something like this.

This is so saddening to me. The ugly truth is that your family will likely not change their views on this - and for that, THEY are in the wrong, not you. All you can do is love and respect your fiancé and your marriage and stand by that. If your family doesn't accept the person you love, let them bare those consequences. That is so telling of their character and family or not, you don't need to make any room in your life for toxicity and hate towards your relationship by anyone.

Love your partner and let your family see that from a far if they don't want to celebrate and support you. It will bite them later. Hope and pray something softens their heart, but don't let their hatefulness affect your relationship. So sorry to hear this!

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Exactly, Kasy! You don't need the drama, and while it may hurt now it'll be a thing of the past later. Your wedding is about YOU and your love for your FH, no one else! I hope you have a great day!

Hi sweetie first hugs to you and congrats on your wedding, my heart breaks for you that your family cant see how happy he makes you, I would continue to move on with your plans I hope you find your happiness and many blessings

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. Im just gonna move on with my plans. Even though it hurts. But my happiness comes first.

My heart aches for you on this subject. As sad as this is and I cannot even imagine how you will feel on your wedding day (I feel like crying for you right now), you have to move on and cut ties. You will get past the fact that your family decided on their own to not support you (I hope for your sake, that they will change their minds and show up). Your happiness is what's important and if they cannot see past the line of color to your happiness then its their loss. They are the ones losing out. Losing out on so much that they have to gain from you, your fiance` and all the memories. I'm praying for you that there will be a happy ending on your wedding day. Wishing you the best of luck and a ton of happiness.