How do I deal with a guest who didn't even give a card?

Let it go...what good will come out of confronting this person and what would you really say in a 'thank you' card:

Hello Co-worker,

Hubby and I really appreciate your show of being an ass for inviting yourself to our wedding. We specifically will remember that you arrived cardless and giftless and ate free. Most of all we will never forget that we can't blame you cause we allowed to you come in the first place.

Like you said this won't play out well IF YOU pursue it...your time is too valuable.

Please don't do what Ashlee is suggesting. That is just ridiculous. Telling someone to cancel a check because "it must have gotten lost" is way more rude than showing up empty handed. I can't believe anyone would have the nerve to do that.

You dont need to "deal" with is, this happens sometimes and people don't bring cards/gifts, i think you should just move on with your life and not worry about it. If you're sending thank you cards to everyone who attended, send him one, if you're sending only thank yous for gifts, then dont! This isn't an issue, just let it go

I disagree that a "card is just a card" and that it's not necessarily a requirement. Unless you're living under a rock, you should know as a guest that it's appropriate to bring a card at minimum.

Many brides save wedding cards. I have cards from relatives that have passed, old friends, ones my students have given me, etc. When you pick out a card you are selecting words that mean something to you (or at least they should) and it shows that you CARE to wish the couple well.

I would write him a short and sweet thank you note thanking him for his presence, because what else can you thank him for?

Emily, although you wear the sheriff's badge and you use an iron fist on the whole etiquette thing, I'm looking forward to seeing your back and married pics. You're just a little over a week away eh? Somehow i think your wedding planning is just problem and error free.

Yeah yeah I know: get over yourself

Looking forward to the pix after wedding

First world problems.

Sorry, don't expect things out of people...you set yourself up for disappointment. This is a silly post.

OMG, don't do what Ashlee is suggesting! Let it go. Being hostile and resentful is just going to hurt you. I repeat, let it go.

Just because you feel he was rude, doesn't make it ok for you to be rude, too.

Let it go. This is a symptom of a bigger problem with this guy, and he is never going to give you the validation that you're looking for. Confronting him won't help because he will think he did nothing wrong, and sending a ty note for coming (wtf) will augment his self belief that he was an honored and rightfully invited guest.

I would not send a thank you card. I would just move on and not invite him to my next wedding.

It's one thing to give no gift, but anyone who shows up to a wedding with no card for the couple, when there's a Dollar store on every corner selling cards 2 for $1, is a complete scumbag loser!!!

And saying "no one's required to give anything" is a crock! It is a long standing tradition for those invited to give a gift whether they attend or not. If you can't afford it, that's one thing, but to say it's not required is a cop out by people who are incredibly cheap! No card is just the actions of a complete and utter LOSER who has no class at all!

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Agreed! Your last line says it all. I don't understand all these people saying it's not required to bring -at least- a card to a wedding. Common courtesy people. I recently found out one of our guests didn't get us a gift or card because they were upset we didn't give them cash at their wedding, apparently they didn't like the gift we gave them. We got a blank thank you card from them. I know this is a bit strange but I'm thinking of writing them the sweatest of thank you notes. I think they would rather not receive anything from us at all. Social politics/drama. Anyone engaged:: I highly recommend saving your money & paying the resort the $300 to marry you on your honeymoon. Our wedding was wonderful and we had a great time, but we found the party was more for our guests & when all was said and done -not worth the stress leading up to it. I am just happy to be married to my amazing husband & *never* having to go through that again.

I'm sorry you feel that way. My mother always told me. "Material is temporary, but love and support, is forever, "



Just be gald they came to celebrate with you! ❤❤❤❤❤❤ CONGRATULATIONS btw ❤❤❤❤❤

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It is said that neglect is the antithesis of love. Not bringing a simple card of congratulations and well wishes isn't a guest helping you celebrate- It is a guest exhibiting selfishness. You have every right to be upset.

Let it go. Not worth getting upset over or ending a friendship. A card is not required, nor is a gift, so I don't agree with OP at all that it is unacceptable.

View Quoted Comment 😀😆😄😃😂😅 good one.

You don't have to thank him at all,since he invited himself . I'm not sure why ",you felt akward not inviting him": Do you want him to dictate, say, where you guys will live or future kid's names? Are you scared of him or something?

I think it's not a good idea to even tell him something, sarcastic or not, since you didn't want to invite him in the first place ...

Seeing as this is a post from 2014, I suspect that the OP is no longer in need of advice. Certainly the moment for saying anything has long since passed 🙂