Horrible Moms?

Has been bitter towards her since my dad remarried 15 years ago. I just hate how she treats me and how she makes everything all about her when it should be a happy time for me...

Sorry ladies but i just had to vent..

I don't understand that per ce, but my mom has been stressing me out a lot. She has a problem with screaming at me. I'm like mom, stop yelling, and just talk to me. We are trying to plan this wedding together, and it's not easy.

Good luck!

Ohh lord i have been there. however being this close to the wedding most of all the stress factors have been aking care of an im just enjoyng the ride now

My mom shows absolutely NO interest in helping me. Ive tried talking to her about things and she blows it off and says things like "I cant help pay for it so I dont need to hear it" then goes on 2 week long cruises?? I dont get it. then she gets mad because someone else wants to do something for me...what is this? Third grade mentality? "If I cant do it, no one can?"...It so stressful....

Good luck working it out with your mom.

I'm sorry STB Mrs Clark. Wedding or not, life is a roller coaster dealing with my mom.She is difficult with everything but adding wedding into that mix is not helping! When she does act like she is interested its to say how I should do something different then what my plans are. She wants something really laid back, casual, and fun, where we play horse shoes and games outside. Just because my wedding is black tie does not mean its not going to be fun! I want a wedding, not a BBQ.

She turns everything into a fight but when I refuse to fight back she curses at me and hangs up lol.

I am glad at least that your step mom seems willing to be involved some what. Hope things smooth out a bit as your wedding gets closer!

Ty Mags. I hate to say it but it's looking like the only thing that will smooth it over is to just cut my mom out of the planning/discussions. My step mom has been waiting to ask, or to help in any way but does not want to step on my mom's toes so she hadnt said anything until now.

Why do moms have to make planning so stressful!?! I feel your pain, I was having a lot of problems with my mom making this day all about her, until finally this past weekend I said " You know what ma, the weddings next week. I don't have time for your shit." And I think it worked! She finally snapped out of it and now is just focusing on what I want and making it perfect, instead of putting her own ideas in everywhere. Sometimes you just have to tell them straight up to snap them out of it. Maybe get your mom and stepmom to work together to throw the shower? If that's possible?

My mom's involvement in my wedding has been primarily my trying to prevent her from being a problem and damage control when that fails. So I get it.

Sounds like she is trying to save face. Let her flip out, but let your step-mother throw you the shower. Tell her you could not have made the date she chose and she should show up and be pleasant and graceful.

I told her I couldnt make her original date (even knowing it was fake I still explained my exams)

My step mom would like my moms help but sadly, my mother is way to bitter for that. Good example, My son's birthday was a few weeks ago and my mom and dad were to be there. When my mom found out she spent half the part pouting, then when my dad called to say my step mom was ill, she spent the rest gloating, like she had won some epic battle because they werent there.

If they cant be in the same room together due to her behavior, what disasters will happen at my wedding??

You can't change people like that. My mother is the same way. You can only tell her that you expect her to behave appropriately or realize she has a fever that day. I know that's easier said than done, but after years and years of indulging that kind of behavior, I decided I'd rather she stayed home alone fuming than behave like that around me. It's a hard line, but...I guess everyone reaches their limit eventually.

Oh no! Heck, I would just keep her out of the loop at this point and just keep things as a need to know basis with her. I think it's sweet of your step mom to offer....I'm glad someone is worried about your happiness!

My Mom and I go through phases. Right now, we are fine, next month......break out the tissues and anti deps

@Clare C I might have to take your advice, because like everyone else on this thread my mom is driving my absolutely crazy. This past month it's gotten increasingly worse. She hates her dress, she hated how the trial run for her hair went, she's bought three pairs of shoes, new glasses....it just keeps going and going. AND she keeps texting me throughout the day. I am at work-not really an appropriate time to start a discussion on which rehearsal outfit I like the best. My FH's family comes from a LOT of money; one minute she's trying so badly to impress them and the next minute she's speaking very negatively about them. It's frustrating to hear her speaking so poorly about people I have grown to care for. I know they're a lot to handle sometimes, but the negative comments aren't necessary. Thank god our wedding is this Sunday because honestly, I'm really not sure how much more I can take.

*big hug*

I understand what you are going through. My step-mom has been extremely hateful towards me since we started planning our wedding. She did not show up to my shower because my mother was going to be there. I called her about the rehearsal dinner and she told me her, my dad, and my little brother will not be there because my brother has school the next day. I am 98% sure they will not be at my wedding. At this point I would rather they just tell me the truth that they will not be attending my wedding rather than let me pay $150 a plate when they have no intention of being my parents. I have have set a deadline for my dad and brother to get their tuxes for the wedding. If they do not get them by September 7 I am assuming neither will be in my wedding. I will plan on walking myself down the aisle or have a friend walk me down rather than invest more time begging these people to join my wedding.

we deserve better parents!! But I will be you surrogent mom if you need one!

Thanks ladies, as bad as it is, I feel a bit better Knowing Im not alone in this poop lol

@Christine-Thanks!

Oh man.. I know how you feel. My mom is the same way. Parents just recently got divorced. She treated my dad like crap, shows no interest in me and my older sister's lives, and wasn't a good mom for my 5 younger siblings. I forgave her for f*in up our family and welcome her into my life.. but we only talk about once every other month. It annoyed me that as soon as I started talking about my dress.. she's all about talking about what SHE is going to wear. And whenever I talk about the guest list and who I wouldn't invite if my dad wouldn't be happy about them there and I try to respect that bc he is paying for about a third of the wedding.. my mom likes to constantly tell me "well its my money too." She treated my dad like crap when he's a good man, left him for some bum, and still thinks she's entitled to all of his money!! She was a selfish brat and no help with my sister's wedding, and she'll be the same for mine.

@Ashleigh- are you sure we don't have the same families?lol...sounds exactly like my situation, sometimes all they need is a little tough love. Only a few more days to geth through, then we get to marry the men we love!

STB Mrs. Clark - I'm right there with you... in two days we went from "I'm bringing the trailer", to "I'm staying in a hotel", to "I'll take your bedroom", to "I'm bringing the trailer"... what about this, and what about that... oh and I won't arrive until 3 pm the day of rehearsal... oh, you don't want me to wear a 16" dress... "you mean there won't be any hard alcohol" after telling me to just do beer & wine because of the drive home from the reception... I thought our own mothers were supposed to make sure this was a stress free time!!!

Mrs C- Thats what I thought too but apparently that's not the case! At this point, FH and I are totally over BOTH our families selfish behavior and its sad that my dad shows he cares about FH and I more than both our own mothers

I keep telling FH - we should've just went to Vegas... It's really bad, because my FMIL is trying to keep all the stress away instead of causing it!!! Killing me!

This is a sad thread, my mom is a handful, but I feel for the ladies on here that have mom's trying to exact revenge on spouses, re-create their dream wedding etc with their daughters wedding =(. Hugs to all of you and I hope that on your special day your moms can all take a deep breath and remember what the celebration is really about.