High-end Registry Destination - Rude?

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LOL! I guess I'm "petty," too, because I thought the same thing as MrsNerd. If, in your "social circle," it's totally normal for a bridal shower to be an opportunity for the nearly married couple to make their first (public?) "large gift to a charity," I'm guessing no one in that group is going to bat an eye at your Bergdorf's registry.... Are there people on the guest list who aren't part of that particular social circle? If so, they may think your choice is pretentious. I might be mistaken, but I think you've had other posts about how your family has questioned your motives regarding choices you've made that they interpreted as highlighting different financial circumstances. If that's the case, then I think it might be a reasonable assumption that they will feel similarly about this registry. If you don't want them to feel that way, then you may want to consider other options. In your original post you said, "I'm worried some guests will judge me." If you think they'll judge you, they probably will, so I guess it depends on whether you care about their opinions or not.

What's the charity these donations are going to?

I think I understand where you're coming from with this post but it does come off a bit like asking "is my 3 carat diamond considered big?" (yes, someone did actually post that question a few weeks ago, you can imagine how well that went down lol)...

But if it really is that you just fell in love with this specific china and BG is the only place it is sold and you are legitimately concerned about how your guests will interpret it, then I totally get it.

If I was a guest I might side-eye for a second, but then once I saw that you had options at a variety of price ranges (that wasn't like purchasing a single fork for $25 because that doesn't really count as a $25 gift in my mind), then no worries.

I think there might be some people concerned that their $50 won't gift you as much from BG as it might at someplace like Target, for example, so they might choose to spend their $50 there instead. It's just a risk you are going to take if you choose to only register at BG.

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LOL! I thought of the "is my 3 carat ring average-sized or large???" post as well....

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The Planned Parenthood chapter in my city.

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We really, truly fell in love with a specific china at BG. We're registering for 105 items, 30 percent under 50, 40 percent 50-150, and 30 percent 150+. FH didn't want to register at all, so we compromised by keeping it simple and compact.

Definitely can understand someone's concern about their money not going as far as they'd like it. Hopefully they'll actually look at the registry before jumping to incorrect conclusions.

Are you going to tell everyone that in advance? I support PPH but i know others who absolutely dont and would be pissed to have donated money to them.

View Quoted Comment I am a big supporter (financially and otherwise) of PP but this would be a big to-do for some of my guests. I would really not associate this with your wedding. It could put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths.
As far as Bergdorfs, my guests that are from NYC where I currently live wouldn't think twice about it but I am sure there would be a lot of eye rolling from those traveling from my home town. As long as there are plenty of items in each price point there is no etiquette issue with it.

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Yes, but nobody invited either to the wedding or shower would have an issue with it.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't be so sure unless your list is teeny tiny but even so, I would be a little annoyed at this request, as if I don't donate enough on my own (I do).

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Thank you, but nobody invited has anything but deep support both for the institution and the shower. I'm also not going to not associate myself with an organization I'm heavily involved with for the comfort of others.

I personally wouldn’t have an issue as long as they’re are plenty of affordable gift options. I seen you say $50 and under. That’s a perfect range but if you’re only registering 3 items in that range I personally wouldn’t buy them as I would assume someone else may want to and would switch to giving cash or a gift card to that store

I'm curious about the logistics of this...

How are you planning to do thank you notes for the shower? Are the checks written out to you so you both can donate the money to PP together or are you taking the checks/cash, writing thank you notes, and then giving the money to PP?

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I'm not sure why the thank you notes would be any different than if people gave us physical gifts? I'm not exactly sure how the hostess is doing the logistics of the money, but when I've attending charity showers, I've written a check to the bride or groom.

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Good to know - thanks!

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So is the hostess going to give you a list of everyone who contributed or are you sending thank you notes to everyone assuming they donated?

When the couple receives gifts you usually write a thank you taylored to that gift. If money is being given to the hostess to be donated to a charity it makes it a little harder for the couple to know how to word a thank you note or who to send them to.

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It would be the exact same as a thank you note written to someone who gave a cash gift at a wedding.

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OK, so is the hostess going to give you a list of everyone who contributed or are you sending thank you notes to everyone assuming they donated?

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I'm not sure why you're so fixated on the logistics of the thank you notes. Are you going somewhere with this? Thank you notes will be sent. Don't worry.

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Just curious. Ya know, in case I ever want to have a party like that, or for future brides doing the same thing you are who will read this thread later on.

Shaming women for asking questions is a new low for this forum. Oh well.