High-end Registry Destination - Rude?

I think as long as you have things in price ranges that multiple people can afford, you shouldn't worry about them judging you. We are registering at Target and Crate and Barrel. Crate and Barrel will have all of the dishes/pot and pans/etc we want, while Target has more affordable home decor and towels. We are doing this to hit all price points, and to make sure those who want to buy the gift in person can easily access the store.

I think if you're going to register at one place at that high of a price point you'll have to except that people will go off registry, and maybe even get you similar things at a lower price point. Alternately register for a smaller amount of things, don't do a 12 place setting, do a 4 place setting.

Why do you want to only register at once place? Have you though about a middle tear as well? Nordstrom or Macy's? They still have good quality, but it is cheaper.

A lot of times guests will "go in" on a gift together. For example, two of your aunts might decide to split the price of the china and make it a combined gift from both of them. Some guests will even just give you cash! I'd say if you are registering for mostly higher price items, keep the registry really small.... if 40 people are invited to the shower then only register for 20-25 items.

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All the items are bucketed in the under $50, $50-$150, and over $150 range, so there'd be no reason why someone would feel the need to go off registry for cost reasons.

Only want to register at one store for convenience and because it's only three groups of items: china, silver and crystal. We have absolutely no need for any kitchen items or anything else.

If you have the price range then I see no need to worry! People who love you won't judge you, and people who do are going to judge no matter what you do. I hope you get all things you want!

I agree with Xandria. People will go off registry if they are unable or unwilling to purchase what you selected at one particular store. You need to keep that in mind if you are going to register at one store only.

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Right, but the items we're registering for you wouldn't be able to purchase somewhere else. It's a specific china pattern, specific silver set and specific crystal.

My question is would you be unwilling to shop at a particular store because of its reputation even if the price points were normal. There's no reason why someone would be "unwilling" to ship at Bergdorf's (it's online as well as in person) besides the fact that it typically caters to a very, very high-end customer.

Are you planning on having a shower/has anyone offered to throw you one? I don't typically gift as expensive gifts for showers and I would for weddings. Some people (close family, usually) gifts bigger or more expensive items but I usually go for the cheaper household/cutsey items for showers, because, honestly, I don't want to spend an arm and a leg twice for the couple. We usually give cash at weddings anyhow.

I only say this because if you are having a shower, I'd expect some people will go off the list and/or give you items you didn't register for.

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Yes, but the shower "gifts" are donations to a charity that I'm very involved with.

Are you no longer eloping? You posted two weeks ago that you were cancelling, which means you shouldn’t be having a shower or a registry at all.

I think it’s possible guests will buy off registry because not everyone wants to buy China for someone. Especially if all I can buy is two small plates, I’d feel weird shopping at a more expensive store.

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Sarah, I'm obviously keeping the wedding if I'm having a shower and registry. Thanks for your concern.

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So, everything brought to shower the bride (which is the point of a shower in the first place) is going towards a charity? I'm not sure I'm following the logic. I could see asking guests to donate to the charity instead of bringing gifts for you and your groom (I've seen this on wedding websites) but this doesn't require a party in your honor. A lot of people feel passionately about charity but you're essentially telling people to come celebrate you, but everything they bring to shower you will actually go towards something else? I'd skip the shower all together and simply tell guests if they'd like to give a gift that you strongly encourage them to donate to this charity.

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Thanks, but we're going to have the shower. It'll be like any other luncheon where people make donations. I've been to several and they've always been tasteful and well done.

Honestly? I'd totally roll my eyes at a registry only at Bergdorf's. It's part of the Neiman-Marcus group. My best friend has an incredibly high income and assets, and she always makes me laugh when she refers to N-M as "Needless Mark-ups...." If someone who can literally spend anything she wants thinks it's ridiculously overpriced, that would definitely color my expectations. It sounds like you've selected items in a reasonable range of prices, but, depending on your social circle, the registry could seem pretentious. If the products are what you truly want, do it, but realize you may not get much from the registry. You can always buy it yourself later.

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Interesting concept. Why don't you throw a charitable event instead, where people come with the intention to celebrate that charity and donate to it, rather than masking it as a shower for yourself? If I come to a bridal shower, I expect my gift to go to the bride. You could always use the cash you get at your wedding and donate that to the charity as well.

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There would be no misunderstanding where your gift would go if you were invited and attended. The donations from the shower get lumped into a large gift toward the charity as the couple's first donation as an (almost) married couple. I appreciate the interest, but I'm not planning it and I'm not going to tell the hostess what to do. Like I said, I've attended several and they're a nice time to celebrate the couple in a way that doesn't just result in most stuff that the bride and groom may or may not want.

So the registry is just for the wedding? Are physical gifts common in your social circle? They aren’t in mine so if the shower’s purpose wasn’t gifts for the bride, the registry wouldn’t even be touched.

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Yes, registry is just for the wedding. People usually get a gift off the registry and bring cash, in my experience.

You must have known the answer before posting. If you have registry items in every reasonable price range, including less than $50, then you should be fine. Are you worried that people will judge your “fancy” taste? Probably. Am I judging you for posting this just so you could tell a bunch of strangers that you will have China, silver, and crystal from Bergdorf’s? Probably.

You’re welcome, happy to help!