helpers at wedding

Ladies, we have a self caterer. *puts popcorn into microwave*

Even if you are cooking the food yourself ( which I don't recommend) you should hire people to serve the food so you don't have to.

You don't need anyone for the guestbook just have a sign.

I'm having my wedding cater, but its from a restaurant. They don't stay and serve the food. They deliver and set-up the food. I will have a staff of 4 people for the whole day. They will decorate, serve the food, and clean up after, and whatever else I need.

I would hire a wedding planner for the day. Many do this now for the do it yourself bride.

I have enrolled friends to set up the buffet and move chairs and everything, a few friends asked if i needed help so i took them up on the offer.

I'm out.

We aren't having any extra people to do any of this. Everyone can serve themselves and their own kids. We aren't assigning seats to sit at or sides to sit for the wedding. My feeling is that everyone is an adult or has a parent with them that can make sure they are behaving. We aren't doing a guest book and we aren't asking for any gifts and aren't registering anywhere since we have already lived together for 4 years we have all the household items we need.

I'm trying to do as little as possible on the day of. I don't want to decorate or clean up after. I also don't want to deal with any problems the day of. I'm handing my phone over the the head person and she will handle any problems that may come up. I used the same people for my daughter sweet 16 and the team was great. I was able to just enjoy the party without worrying about every little thing. At the end of the night I just went home and they cleaned and packed ever thing up.

Okay, I can't resist. How many people do you have?

It would cost you a good amount to hire a host, a hostess, a guest book attendant, waiters, a punch bowl attendant, a cake server, and gift carriers -- especially when you're not hiring a caterer. First of all, most of these positions are things I've never heard of. Nobody needs a guest book attendant. You leave the guest book out -- the guests sign it. You leave the punch bowl out -- guests self serve. You have a table for gifts -- guests leave their gifts on that table. You might want to add a card box for those leaving cards with cash/checks. As for a host or hostess, that did come up once before and most of the ladies here were unfamiliar with them. I gather it is someone who kind of keeps the day moving -- telling the guests what's next, etc. Your DJ will fill that role perfectly.

I'm not a proponent of self catering (unless it is the most casual, intimate, at-home wedding), but I'm not getting involved in that debate. Unless you are having your wedding in a public park or a community center, you need to check with your venue to see if you can self-cater. Many venues do not allow it for liability reasons. If you can, you need to hire servers (dinner and cake). Please don't ask family members or the bridal party to serve the rest of your guests on your wedding day.

What Centerpiece said is true - you need waitstaff to serve food and cake, and to clear the food out at the end of dinner/appetizers. Also, check with your venue to make sure they allow it (food not made in a commercial kitchen is subject to all sort of liability issues, caterers have insurance and licenses). AND...I know I'll be beating a dead horse here, but think of how much work, time and cost there is, and ask yourself if it's worth it. I was in a wedding a couple of years ago that the bride decided to self-cater, although she "delegated" a lot of it (not very well, as the people who were supposed to be providing this and that mostly fell through). Long story short, it was also an outdoor wedding at his parents farm, and some freak weather came through. The family was so caught up in renting a tent last minute and try to rearrange everything to accommodate the weather that there almost wasn't any food. Because she wasn't a professional (and nobody helping her was either), there was no contigency plan. It was a total mess. Like myself and the MOH hiding in her vehicle to make a panicked call to my FH to bring us vodka, STAT. The stress was crazy, and I was only in the BP...just sayin'!

I'm just gonna throw out that the only self catered weddings I've attended were:

a. hamburgers and hotdogs

blackened, mostly. the "chef" who was chattin' it up and having a good time, as he should have at a friends wedding, but it didn't make for great food.

b. baked pasta

not impressed. it was made ahead and refrigerated and reheated and you could taste it. it was really dry and bland as well. maybe the first batch was tasted for seasoning, but mine could not have been.

I don't see how it would be possible to self cater anything other than something bland, boring, and subpar.

but, to answer your actual question. I have a doc, servers, and a bartender, I think that's it as far as helpers. they all double as set up and clean up crew as well. our parents and fh's brother will transport everything from the venue to our place afterwards.

eta: my doc is the venues owners so they are a team, so that makes one more to set up and clean up

The only people that will be "working" my event are the vendors like officiant, photographer, etc.. My caterer provides waiter/waitress staff that will man the buffet station and also cut the cake. Depending on your bar setup you will need a bartender. If you are only doing punch I don't think you need somebody to work there just designate somebody to refill it. Nobody will be tending to my guestbook or gift table as I don't think there needs to be anybody there. My sister had somebody who was responsible for carrying around a little pouch for all the cards. This was not somebody hired though it was a trusted family member. We will not be having a host/hostess, but our venue has a DOC they supply to make sure everything runs smoothly and everybody knows what to do and when.

I'm taking a page out of my friend's book, and enlisting the significant others of my bridesmaids to run around and do extra stuff for us. Not if it's a random date, but for the husbands and boyfriends that are already our dear friends, and are happy to play a role. We'll have them usher before the ceremony (which is on grass, so ladies will need assistance), and we would have one of them help with guest book and gifts. It's nice to have extra sets hands and eyes when everything will be such a whirlwind for you. They're like the extended wedding party -- I've had other close friends genuinely offer up their services, and I'm def taking them up on it if it becomes necessary.

But yes, definitely hire some professional help along the way. I wonder if there's such a thing as junior wedding planners, like ones who are trying to build experience and are therefore dirt cheap, but better than nothing?

You do not need a host/hostess, someone to pass out programs, guest book attendant, etc.

However, you do need someone to set out the food...whether you're doing a buffet (which it sounds like you are) but most definitely if its a plated meal. You need someone to monitor the buffet. Even if people are serving themselves, you need staff to monitor the buffet and refill empty trays, keep things clean, etc. and you need staff to clean off tables (remove empty plates, cups, etc.) and take out trash, etc. That's what a caterer is for!

I would see if you could hire a few servers. You can ask around at local restaurants to see if any of their servers want he extra cash to work the event.

In your situation, I would definitely hire catering staff to serve and bus at least.

FH wanted to have some people as hosts, etc at our wedding. I told him we were not putting anyone to 'work' that was not in our bridal party just so we could say we had them in the wedding (because they wouldn't really be, anyway). An ex-friend of mine had me asked me to work as her event coordinator for her wedding years ago because she said she didn't have room for me in the BP. In hindsight, I should have turned her down - it was so much work and I would have rather just come as a guest.

Future Mrs., I totally get where you've coming from with the Junior Wedding Planner idea, and I know you're trying to be helpful, but speaking from experience, this to something to avoid. If a bride is going to have a wedding planner, she needs someone who has experience and expertise. Brides need to vet their wedding planners as thoroughly as they vet their photographers and other vendors. I mean no offense to qualified planners, but I have noticed that their profession is bombarded with upstarts who can make a decent website, but whose experience is really limited to planning their own wedding and helping with their cousin's and MOH's weddings. That's not a wedding planner. I have dealt with that level of planner, and honestly, they are so out of their league they become obstacles and catalysts of confusion. I would think many good planners apprentice with qualified planners before they strike out on their own. If I was going to hire someone with limited solo experience, I would make sure they had a reference coming from an experienced planner saying that this individual had the ability to do the job, and to do it well.

I'm sorry, this is a clusterf#$^@^k waiting to happen. "Jr planners" (there is no such thing, either good ones or new ones), friends and boyfriend of friends are not going to get this done. No one is happy to work at a wedding, and unless you want to be in your gown, filling trash bags at the end of the day, hire some pros. You don't need a guest book attendant, gift carriers, punch pourers or hosts; it kinda cracks me up that you're concerned with this when the food seems to be an afterthought.

Hire a caterer and a good planner.

I self-catered BBQ and people are still talking about it. My sister's friends volunteered to help and I paid some former students and cousins. You have to have trustworthy people and people who really want to help (and yes, they do exist). Your wedding can either go really well or really horrifying, so be careful!