Help! Wedding Venue Etiquette Question

No real friend would act like that. My good friend loaned me her wedding dress and veil and my sister's best friend loaned her her wedding dress and very expensive veil. They both said they didn't need them any more.

And to try to cancel your reception? WOW! I wouldn't give her another thought!

Wow, Jacqueline, I would call the venue and let them know that unders ANY circumstances, any changes are to be made and approved by yourself and FH. And maybe take her off the guest list, along with the rest of her weddingzilla family. Don't need them causing issues on your special day. I'm just baffled and shocked by how people act about wedding stuff.

I have already contacted the venue and let them know what is going on and they have assured me that no changes can be made without myself or FH coming in to sign for them. As for the guestlist, my family and I have decided that they will not be invited if this ridiculousness continues and if they're willing to end a 25 year friendship over this that they weren't real friends to begin with. It's sad that weddings are supposed to be happy times and something like this causes such saddness.

Thank you lovelyunique It's just ridiculous and there's not reasoning with her and it just upsets me. But I can't let this ruin my wedding

Looks like you don't have to worry about any over lap anymore! If someone tried canceling my wedding you could bet I wouldn't invite them!

I wasn't worried about overlap in the first place... but now she won't be invited to mine, and I'm sure that I won't be invited to hers.

What happened to the days where you just didn't steal your friends boyfriend?? Now you can't steal their venue, can't steal their ideas, can't steal their name,... what is next?

Honestly there should be some reasonable exception to this. Weddings are about being special, and the venue only contributes a small part to that. But it shouldn't break a friendship. Is there no way she'll be reasonable?

She won't listen to my sister (one of her best friends) and she refuses to speak to me, because I am getting married first and "stole" her venue. It's just a mess, one that I never thought I would have to deal with.

I am beginning to see that weddings bring out both the best and worst in people. I'm getting married in a church and she's getting married at the venue, our receptions are in separate rooms (the venue has two) and many people get married there. I am sure that I will look back and realize that she was never a good friend, but right now it just bothers me that she feels I am "doing this to her"

Awwwww hell! yall are not even using the same banquet room?! EFFF her! that's what i say. goodness griefness!

The facility has two rooms, one on the left (the one I will be using) and one of the right (the one she will be using). It seems she feels that no one she knows should get married at the same place before her... Thank you for saying that I haven't done anything wrong

Wow. I'm so sorry she's so petty! We're getting married at the same place (but different rooms) than my FH's boss. Not only was FH's boss happy, he offered us advices on how to negotiate with the venue.

When I first read this, I thought you guys are getting married in the exact same room and etc. Even then I didn't see a point in being upset. As long as you're not having the same color, dress, etc why should it matter?

If someone tried to cancel my wedding, I'd slap her silly. That's just ridiculously childish.

I was going to say that I see both sides but considering that the rooms are different no prob. I had a good friend who wanted to get married at my venue before me but I told her I didn't care because the friendship was more important....also she was interested in a totally different room on a different floor. Then I got excited thinking wow I'll get to see first hand what my guests will experience. She ended up booking elsewhere but the point is we are still cool. As for her trying to cancel your reception...I'd @#$%%$#@## her a** up!

I had a "friend" use the colors she knew I was going to use. Also when we had discussed things that I wanted to do during and after the ceremony she kept telling me it was silly. I was trying to do too much etc, etc. I HELPED her with her wedding. Even though she used the colors she knew I intended to use. So I was in constant contact with her. She turned around and did the very things that she told me were silly. and other things she didn't do only b/c she didn't have the money. She couldn't even look me in the face when it was all said and done. Tell your friend to chew on that if she thinks she has something to be mad about!

I agree that your friend has pushed it too far when trying to cancel your reception, however, it is totally reasonable for her to be upset. I had a very similar experience - After months of searching for the perfect venue, I found it, in the city I live in, in a neighborhood that is significant to my fiance and me, and that is not very well known. A friend got engaged and started planning, since she said she did not want to have her wedding in the city I live in, I thought I was safe to tell her about my dream wedding. The next week, she asked me to accompany her to that venue, which she had only heard of from me, and she explained how hard it was for her to find such a unique venue. I gritted my teeth and went for the tour; she made a fool of herself, acted rude to the staff and this was just the start of her stealing ideas and passing them off as her own unique ideas. Try to consider how your friend feels - you both have some valid points and may have both over-reacted. Apologize.

She has no reason whatsoever to apologize. maybe you didn't real all the posts but she's said that she has been to several events at this location. it's a fairly popular location for weddings. and not only that but her FH and her had already discussed it and said they would consider getting married there before the friend even booked it.

Now see, when I first began reading the post, I empathized with the friend cause I am a total BRIDEZILLA!!! Aint no way anybody is gonna try and bite off my ideas!!! Then as I got deeper into the post, I started to realize the "friend" is a total B*TCH!!!! I can't believe she had the balls to sabotage your plans.....she needs a good ole fashioned ass whoopin to set her ass straight!!! Can you sense the bridezilla? LOL. Its a good thing you started to see her true colors before you got deeper into the wedding plans and possilbly with her participating.

And to think that her family is actually supporting her bratty ass attitude!! good riddance!!!

It's always hard when the people you think will always be a part of your life and you feel you know better than anyone else show their true colours! (Happened at my wedding in fact but that is another story all together) I'm truly sorry this is happening to you and I can't believe she would actually try to cancel your reception! I can understand her being upset but that is just too much!

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@His Mrs P. In your picture and your post don't match lol In your picture you look al demure and sweet and then your post makes me glad I will never have the opportunity to be on your bad side lol

In the beginning, I did understand part of why she was upsset... but, now, she's just being completely ridiculous. I tried to contact her, explain my point of view and how it's a different room of the same venue, that we've liked it for a long time, yadayadayada... and she told me that I was insincer and to not contact her again. Her mother still won't speak to my mother and I am not going to apologize to her for planning the wedding I want to have (that will be nothing like her wedding). Every bride has the right to plan their own event and to have it where they want to. My cousin got engaged last night and she told me she was thinking about having her reception at the same place as mine- I was happy for her.

Yeah this is a little bit ridiculous. she is being selfish IMO. It is not like every single detail will be the same and even if it was..it would not be the SAME wedding because the couples are different and obviously have different attitudes and the guests are also different so there will be a different atmosphere.When I first got engaged, my SIL was telling me to get married at the same place her and my brother got married at because the staff was so wonderful and it was so cheap. I would have done it there, but my heart was set on a beach location. Honestly, its your wedding and if that place makes you happy, go for it. Hopefully she will get over it too.

Good Luck