HELP! Mother in law from Hell!

I would talk to your FH and then the two of you sit down and talk to her. The two of you need to have a united front when speaking to her. That way she can see its not just affecting you but the two of you.

WHOA!!! That's insane! I am not sure what your FH relationship is with his mother, but maybe you should talk to him and tell him what's going on and have him tell her to CHILL OUT? If you tell her it may be misconstrued and cause a headache that you do NOT need. Secondly, is she paying for any of this stuff? If NOT, then she doesn't have a say. If she is, then I might consider telling her to keep her $! Some ppl think because they are paying for it they have the right to tell you what to do for YOUR day! One thing is for sure, she will NOT stop until she is put in her place! GOOD LUCK!

You have to set her straight. Talk to you boyfriend first and tell him to have a talk with his mother. If that does not resolve the issue, do the group intervention with her. She has gone too far!

Good luck!

Well just an update on the Mother in Law from Hell. My FH has told her and told her I am going to be his wife and she will never talk to me like she has. Well that didn't really work and she's continued. She isn't paying for anything and is in many ways demanding that she has a say in everything. This is down to what I wear under my dress! We have tried telling her to leave me alone/backing off.Hell we have had my FH's dad tell her to back off. Nothing is working. She now also thinks the whole wedding should be Scottish. Only thing is I'm an IRISH ITALIAN! My mother in law is from Scotland. UGGG!! Is it wrong that I watch Monster in Law and wish she was only that bad?!?!

She seems extremely controlling.Did she have a big weddding if not maybe she is trying to have her dream wedding through you.

I know this may be harsh but try to distance yourself from her, it seems like thts the only thing left to do...so when she calls u to go do wedding stuff tell her its already done, when she says blah blah scottish wedding, tell her its already done....in w/e it is u want...its ur wedding and she is jus bein a needle in ur backside,,,goodluck!

Your fiance needs to sit down with his mother and explain her limits.

As for the photog, they should have waited for you to get to the meeting before making decisions. That's just bad business. Your MIL's showing up early was so transparent I can't believe the photog didn't see that for what it was. Were it me, I would have just put her in the waiting room alone until you showed up.

Control issues are always a problem when such an emotional event as a wedding is at stake. I have a clause in my contract that states the bride and groom make the final decision on everything, regardless who is paying my fee. Often, parents want to make changes, and until I clear it with the B&G, nothing happens.

I agree with LenW. I think you should talk to each one of your vendors and make sure it is clear that only you and your FH are authorized to make changes. I also agree with a PP about distancing youself. If she is going to be this difficult and demanding, there is no reason to share every detail with her. When she asks, say it's taken care of. She isn't paying for any of it, and therefore has no say. In a perfect world, she would be gracious and understanding, and you would feel much more open to her suggestions. But she's being pushy and controlling, and you don't have to take it. You've tried to discuss it and reason with her, but she's just not getting it. Hopefully, eventually she will, but until then plan your wedding according to what you and your FH want! Don't completely give up on her but definitely don't let her ruin the experience for you! Good luck.

Okay, if I read this correctly, your FMIL is not paying for ANYTHING, right? IF this is the case, then just tell her to butt out. I feel that if the B and G are the ones footing the bill, they have all the say in what goes on, if other ppl are contributing, then it's a completely different story. They should have a say, but then again, the final decision is the B & G's. There are no excuses for this type of behavior...none! If it were me, and after I and FH had talked to her over and over again, and she still continued to do these things, I would just tell her up front, "this is our day, not yours. We have spoken to you about your behavior and you refuse to listen, therefore, you are not included in the planning." and leave it at that...and stick to your guns. Sometimes we have to make waves to get what we want. Planning a wedding is stressful enough..you don't need the added stress.

Threaten to elope if she doesn't stop her unruly behavior. Even if you don't want to elope, she doesn't know that.

Stop inviting her to the caterers, dress shop, or any wedding planning meetings.

Your response should always be "That sounds interesting but for our wedding my FH and I have decided to go this way already."

Just to answer a few of the questions my family is paying for everything. Also my FH have threatened her with eloping. But no one seems to think we would do it, even though we would. I have a meeting with our florist tomorrow but my FH wants me to invite her......UGGHH!! Oh well I don't think that I will be inviting her. Hopefully everything will work out.

My Fiance and I have decided on a rule for meeting with vendors, picking out things, ect. We will meet with vendors or pick out items first, then discuss it with parents. Both of us have very strong personalities, and we get these from our parents, so having all 6 of us in a vendor meeting might be disastrous. So FH and I go, talk, and then pass the info that we've decided on to the parents. If we want opinions, we ask, but only after we have discussed it ourselves. If it's picking out something like invitations and we can't decide, we pick out the top choices and then ask for opinions. Right now my mom is going nuts cuz I won't show her our engagement pic proofs until we pick them out. We can only pick 60 out of 600, so once we start showing parents that number could get out of hand. Maybe you and your FH need that rule, too.

It sounds to me like she is trying very hard to get into your life(i know te feeling my fmil stole my email address and emails me) anyway you need to be harsh with her. it also sounds like your fh is saying one thing then doing something else by telling her its your wedding and to stop acting like a child and then telling you he wants you to have his mom go with you to the next apt. I would tell him no way no how....Set them both down and be sterrn with them. this is just the first thing next when it comes o buying a house,having a baby she will do it all over again. kick it in the butt now!

She's being unreasonable. I agree with those who suggested that anytime she butts in, say it's already done. It is tough though, she's putting you in a terrible spot, I mean your wedding day is your one big day, but you don't want her pouting the whole time because she didn't get her way on anything. She will be your family for a long time to come and it's sad that she's setting a such terrible tone to the beginning of your new relationship. Try to figure out what's really not incredibly important to you, like is it possible to have Irish Italian and Scottish traditions incorporated into your wedding? I am mixing both Basque (me) and British (FH) traditions in my wedding, and I'm loving how unique it is making our day. Does your FH's cousins know the traditional Scottish wedding dance that they can perform for you? (Two birds, one stone.) Would you mind placing a sprig of white heather in your bouquet? You can google more info on it for ideas. Stick to your guns & good luck!

Wow I am so sorry that you have to deal with that. That is INSAINE! I agree with the posters that said to talk to your vendors and let them know that only you and your FH have a say and NO ONE else can change anything.

Thanks to everyone for the posts I really appreciate it. I'm glad that I'm not really crazy/over reacting to what she's been doing. Oh well I guess the bright side is I'm not telling her my passwords for the security system on our new house or for any of our wedding planning stuff. I just had this image in my head that we could all plan this together because she doesn't have a daughter and I was trying to be nice. But now I feel guilty taking it away because of her behavior. But as a teacher I don't reward bad behavior of my students so I guess I can't reward her bad behavior as a future mother in law. But thank you again to everyone who has posted something. It has all been very helpful. Now if anyone wants to offer to trade future mother in laws I might take offers. =0) JK

My mother in law has semi been doing the same thing ! She has taking over my inventations creating her own with her husband name on it and none of my family's name on it at all. Took over the center pieces somewhat to , has paid only so far maybe 60 bucks if that when my family has paid for the whole wedding 2000 something and if I tell her no she flips out and of I share an idea she snaps and says that won't look right ! How do I do everything i want done on my own ? I like her help but it's costing me to much stress to deal with her opinions and also my family is so irritated that she took over and did these things without putting there names on it when she has paid anything for any guests and etc I feel terrible and honestly don't know what to do anymore. She always said me and my fiance didn't pay it was my grandparents and we didn't shed a dime she says hellllp???