Head Table

I would find a way to include their SO's or settle for the sweetheart table...if their SO's don't know anyone else there they'll be extremely uncomfortable sitting with strangers. They're going as their guests and I'm sure they'll expect to be able to sit with them...I know I would.

We are doing the sweetheart table for us and round two tables near by for the bridal party with their SO.

Mine only included the bridal party because we had no choice and for some issues with my MOH's boyfriend. Our head table is on an elevated stage and can only fit a table that fits 15 and there where 13 of us without significant others. I talked to my bridal party ahead of time and let them help me chose who there guest sat with to try and help them have a good time. Also I have never expected to sit with my SO if I was in a wedding and he wasn't and vice versa. He is in a wedding in August that I'm not and I already know we won't be sitting together that to me is just part of attending with a member of the bridal party.

I disagree, as a guest of someone in the bridal party I've never expected to sit with him during dinner. I would actually find it really odd to be placed at the head table if I was not in the bridal party.

We also have a bridal party of 14, and at least half of them have significant others. I know you said you don't want a sweetheart table, but that is ultimately what we decided on. We thought that bridal party + significant others would be way too many people at the head table (and would also awkwardly point out those without dates as single, which I didn't want). On the flip side, however, we didn't want our bridal party's significant others to awkwardly have to sit by themselves at a table where they may or may not know anyone. The significant others came as dates, and we wanted to ensure that they could sit with their date. So we ended up with a sweetheart table and two tables, one on each side of the sweetheart, for our bridal party and their dates. If you're against sweethearts though, I think 20 people at the head table would be too much. Will the significant others know anyone else at the wedding that they would be comfortable sitting with?

We are doing just the bridal party at ours (minus the kids), none of the groomsmen are seeing anyone which helped. On my side it will be my 2 sisters (their husbands will either be sitting with my parents or with their kids) and his sister (whose boyfriend will probably be sitting with their parents). If the groomsmen were dating people I would still do it this way, just have all the SO at a table together. They will only be there for dinner so I don't think it would be too bad.

We are doing a big table with the bridal party and their SO's. It will be 22 people so it's a big table, but I think they would prefer to sit with their dates. We would have a sweetheart table if we didn't have space to let their dates sit with them.

I hate head tables. When FH was a best man last summer, I got stuck at the bridal party's plus 1 table. None of us knew each other, and everyone was really quiet. Also, the members of the bridal party with SOs at our table kept coming over during dinner to spend time with their SO. News flash, people want to spend time with their dates! I already had to wait through cocktail hour without FH because they were taking pictures, and now I get to eat the most awkward dinner of my life. *sarcastic YAY*

#TeamSweetheartTable

I was a BM in a friend's wedding that was very very very small, and originally the BP and family of the bride and groom were all going to sit at one table. Problem? My FI was my guest and I didn't know ANYONE in the BP. And he of course knew absolutely no one at the wedding and it was so small that he would've been sitting completely by himself a table away!

On a side note, when the groom's mother tried to accommodate my FI sitting with me (something I didn't request of her, she just did it), one of the BMs threw a fit and started yelling AT ME (something about how just because she's not engaged doesn't mean it's less than, which I never ever said, and that they've been together longer than my FI and I were). It was a mess...I felt even worse because this BM actually approached the bride, our mutual friend, and TOLD her that she was leaving because I was rude!! I later found out her issue was that her bf and her have been together for about 5 yrs and she was upset that he hadn't (and won't) propose to her yet.

I agree with maybe considering a sweetheart table with the BP + SO/guest and bride + groom families at tables nearby. So much less potential for drama... ETA: We'll be doing the sweetheart table thing. None of the SO of any of my known BP know ANYONE at the wedding. I think that's a huge deciding factor in whether or not you separate them. If they know people, they'll be fine. But even members of my known BP don't really even know each other, so their guests/SO don't know a single person at our wedding except the person they went with. That, and I just want to spend that time with my FH.

If you know that their SOs do know other guests then do not seat them at the head table. All of the SOs for our bridal party will know others so I am just planning on sitting them with those groups that they know.

We did a sweetheart table. Our MOH and BM were married with kids and it would have been weird to separate them from their families or have their two families at a table together (they didn't know each other). It's rude to separate people from their dates and families. I've been seated at a head table when I was the girlfriend of a groomsman - I've also seen the bride and groom sit with their parents and bridal party and dates and families sit at normal tables.

I hate seeing head tables, with bridesmaids on one side and groomsmen on the other side, all facing the rest of the room. They look so 80s and like they're pretending to be royalty. Just let people sit with who they would normally sit with.

We included everyone (about 22 people) on both sides of the table and it was great.

We did just a head table, 10 with us and BP. I've never been to a wedding where SOs sit with bridal party.

First off, they are adults. I think they can sit away from their SO for like 60-90 minutes (plus they didn't sit with them during the wedding and figured it out).

Second, they usually know SOMEONE! E.g. Sister's Bf, probably knows other family members or friends gf/bfs know each other. We did 1 friend table including SOs and it was fine, they all talked and got to know each other. Then, after dinner, everyone danced and hung out and mingled.

If they truly know no one, then yes, maybe reconsider doing a head table. I really don't get when people can't talk to others for 60 minutes... it's 60 minutes! We also had Wed-Libs at each table as an icebreaker and something people could do if they didn't know someone. Lots of people did them, even tables of people who knew each other!

I agree with everything frugal_gator said. I disagree when people say "it's just for the hour" in regards to separating the dates. No, it's not just an hour. The bridal party is usually away for most of the day between getting ready, pictures, etc. Why would one bring a date if they are only going to see their SO on the dance floor or on a stage? I get that it's the couples date and they want to be in the table with their BP but not if that means that the rest of the BP has to separate from their dates after being away from them all day. You're FH is right on this one with sitting them with their dates. If there isn't enough room, suck it up, get a sweetheart table, and put the bridal party table next to the sweetheart table. ETA: I know and am friends with most of the people at an upcoming wedding so it's not about being seated with people I don't know. FH happens to be my favorite human being so the issue for me (if we aren't seated together) would be not sitting next to the person I have the most fun around. I have been the single one at plenty of weddings where I knew absolutely nobody other than the bride or groom. I was fine since I'm pretty outgoing and I hadn't met my FH yet to have a favorite. That's not always the case.

I should have had this, yes the SO will know almost everyone at the wedding, excluding my extended family, as they are from SC. My MOH, also from SC, won't know many people which is why I don't want her to feel excluded if the SO are included in the table. We are all a pretty close knit group of friends, which is why I don't think having them at a different table is such a big deal.

That's a whole lot different then. The SO and guests of my known BP (MOH and a few BM) won't know anyone. With the scenario I provided before of my experience as a BM, it was my FI not knowing anyone (and having to sit by himself because literally everyone there was either BP or family) and me not knowing anyone except the bride and groom that made things awkward.

If they know people at the wedding that they can get along with, they should be fine not sitting at the table.

I'm not saying one way is right and another is wrong..but when FH and I first started dating we went to a wedding that he was in, and he had to sit at the head table without me. I'm an awkward person so it was pretty uncomfortable for me. It sucks going to a wedding with your significant other and not being able to sit and have dinner with them. Yea, it's only an hour, but when the entire reception is usually only 5 hours, that's a pretty big chunk of time. And for people like me, who didn't know anyone there, it can make someone really uncomfortable. Just something to think about. With that many people, you won't be able to talk to everyone at your table anyways so I don't see it to be a big deal if you don't get to sit with your bridal party. If you're dead set against a sweetheart table, I would definitely try to find a way to sit dates at your head table.

Building off what NowASeptMrs said...

Yes we can be away from our SO for 60-90 minutes (although I think it's more like 6 hours when you add all the pictures, getting ready, pre-ceremony, ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, etc.), but FH and I were in a long distance relationship for years. We take one of our "together weekends", which is the only time we get to see each other, and spend it separately. Greeeeeeeeaaaat!

I didn't know people at that wedding (other than several people in the bridal party), so my main memory of it is that I was bored and lonely. If they're your closest friends, don't you want them to enjoy themselves instead of "surviving" your wedding?

We're doing a sweetheart table

@Jessica, we were like you. Everyone knew someone else. We sat all SOs together and it wasn't a big deal. Have some icebreakers at the table too!

@LilBee -- yes they are gone all day but it's not like you are waiting around at the church for them during all this. You get there for the ceremony, and then are apart maybe for cocktail hour and dinner. It's not your day, it's the bride and grooms. He was asked to be in a wedding, it's an honor, Their wedding isn't a free date for DH and I! I don't understand that... yes, I would like to see him, but his friend honored him by being a GM, he needs to be apart of that.