Head Table: Who Sits there?

Perhaps I misunderstood, but I read 'Brides who choose to do a head table are being rude to their wedding party.'

Brides, as being plural...or meaning all in general. ETA Anyway, I think a vast majority of couples try to treat the WP n guests well...sometimes tradition or not being exposed to other options may hinder that.

It's usually the bridal party. The bridesmaid and groomsman. But we are forgoing that and just having a sweetheart table for the two of us

We did a kings table and I loved it. Besides us we had 13 people at the table which were the bridal party and their spouses/SO. But it was also a know your crowd thing too as most of our bridal party was family and knows each other.

We're doing a sweetheart table. At FH's brothers wedding I was stuck sitting with his cousins on the complete opposite side of the room from him. We had only been together 7 months at the time and I had met his extended family like two times at that point. It was horrific and I never want anyone to feel that way at my wedding.

"Perhaps I misunderstood, but I read 'Brides who choose to do a head table are being rude to their wedding party.' "

It was a generalization in direct response to the OP, which specifically mentioned the bride and the bride alone. So I replied with "brides" in general. It was not meant to suggest that all blame falls on the bride for these decisions.

I think some are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too literal on this site.

Believe it or not, many things in our world have gone on for decades that were rude, inappropriate, or terrible yet they were still popular... just sayin'.

I agree with the sweetheart table or kings table. We did a sweetheart table and it was a great decision. Besides the first look, it was pretty much our only chance to have private conversations and simply be together on the wedding day.

We just sat with some of our guests, and made sure that everyone was with at least two people they knew at the same table. Most tables were full of people who all knew each other.

Head tables are NOT rude!! Being a member of the BP is considered an honor. Sitting at the head table is to recognize those in the BP as honorary guests - not with the intent of separating SO's. In your married lives, there are going to be multiple situations - work functions, social functions, etc. where you might have to be apart from your SO for a few minutes - maybe even a WHOLE ENTIRE HOUR (God forbid) and you won't know anyone else - What do you do then?!?

I'm sorry I know that there is a such thing as anxiety disorders - but that can't be the case with everybody - a lot of it just sounds like plain old clinginess to me. If head tables upset you so much and either you or your SO are asked to be a member of the BP - DECLINE!

Uh Terri? No. Just. No. Your bridal party is there because YOU are honoring them. Their job is not to honor you by flanking you and your spouse for photos. That's just a crappy way to treat them and their significant others. It has absolutely nothing to do with clinginess. It has everything to do with rudeness. You don't separate couples.

@Elizabeth - go back and re-read what I said. Never mind let me help you out......

"Sitting at the head table is to recognize those in the BP as honorary guests - "

My FH and I are doing a head table. It's just the bridal party that sits there. It can be awkward for some if their SO doesn't know anyone else there. Awkward doesn't mean rude they'd be separated just for dinner and can rejoin one another after. We don't have the issue of the awkwardness as everyone invited knows the guests they're at their tables with. And our bridal party is all couples

Terri I was responding to your line that being a member of the BP is an honor. I stand by every word.

Jennifer, it's not awkward. It's rude. And it isn't just for dinner. The BP is with you all day. They're getting ready with you, doing photos with you, with you prior to the ceremony and during the ceremony and any photos after the ceremony. The least you can do is allow them to sit down to dinner with their significant other, the way you plan to.

I guess I'm clingy because I would rather share a meal with my partner as opposed to complete strangers *eyeroll*

@Elizabeth So in your world you would ask any Tom, Dick, or Harry to be in your BP?? Most of us in the real world only ask those near and dear to us to be our MOH, BM, GM, etc. Why? Because it's an honor!!!

I stand by every word I said as well!!!

Makes me wonder why having a WP in of itself isn't rude...considering the time n money they spend. And here we are all worked up over being separated for a dinner.

@Ashley I guess I'm clingy too then.

I've been to several weddings my FH was in and I wasn't and ones I was in that he wasn't. All of which had head tables. Neither of us found it to be rude nor did any of the bridal party members. I understand you feel that it's rude but, that's your opinion not everyone else's. We're all entitled to our own opinions and it doesn't make any one opinion in particular correct. Agree to disagree and stop trying to shove your opinion down the throats of everyone who disagrees with you. The OP simply asked who sits there not who finds it rude or not.

A typical head table is the bride, groom, and their attendants. Its becoming less popular because it doesn't allow people to sit with their dates. Some people do a King's table, which includes the dates I believe.

@Ashley...yes, I agree being a table where you know no one bites. We made sure everyone was seated at a table where they knew people.

"@Elizabeth So in your world you would ask any Tom, Dick, or Harry to be in your BP?? Most of us in the real world only ask those near and dear to us to be our MOH, BM, GM, etc. Why? Because it's an honor!!! "

WTF? Terri, you ask those who are your nearest and dearest because YOU are honoring THEM in the ceremony. Them flanking you and your spouse for dinner is them honoring you. If you wanted to honor them, you'd at the very least treat them like every other guest at your wedding. Are you separating other couples? No? Then why would you separate your nearest and dearest from their significant others?

Jennifer, where did anyone say that you're not allowed to your opinion? I certainly didn't and neither did anyone else on this thread. You're allowed to have any opinion you want and people are allowed to reply.