Head Table: Who Sits there?

No one, head tables are passé. A King’s Table is inclusive of the couple, the WP and their SOs. Her best bet may be a sweetheart table where it’s just her and her new spouse.

I am doing a sweetheart table so we can enjoy conversation between the two of us, and so that our bridal party will not be separated from their dates.

I am having a sweetheart table for myself and fiancé, and a head table for everyone in the bridal party plus their dates. It can be so awkward for dates if they have to sit with people they don't know while eating dinner and what not! It doesn't hurt or affect anything letting the dates sit there too, is how I see it.

I'm doing a sweetheart table just us!!!

We are doing a sweetheart. And our BP will be dispersed amongst the other tables with people they know.

As with everything else at a wedding, go for what works for the people, rather than being rigid. You could have just a sweetheart table for the couple, and have the wedding party sit elsewhere. If the wedding party is small, you could have all of them and their SOs (and maybe the parents as well) sit at the head table. If it is larger, you could have just the parents at the head table and have the wedding party sit with their SOs. Or you could use a King's Table so that the whole wedding party and their SOs could sit together.

However, the members of your wedding party are supposed to be the people closest to you. Having the spouse of one of them sitting at a table with strangers just to satisfy your idea of a tradition makes no sense at all.

We did a Kings table and it was GREAT!

IMO, I'd prefer to just sit amongst the guest at regular tables. I was never interested in a sweetheart table...I would have felt too awkward for that.

We did have a head table of just the WP...one of the few things that H really wanted. I still think it was because he just thought it was traditional?!? In my social circle...I've probably attended close to 15 weddings & it's only been the last 2 that did not have a head table. They are going to the way-side; but slowly in this area.

Traditionally the head table would be just the bridal party.

Major props to you for being concerned about your daughter being rude and about your DIL feeling excluded. Brides who choose to do a head table are being rude to their wedding party. It's as simple as that.

If they don't want to be rude, they'll do a sweetheart table with just the bride and groom or, if they have a small wedding party, do a King's table with the wedding party AND their significant others.

We're doing a head table but I always assumed a head table included spouses/dates.

Oh please, head tables are not rude. Saying that means couples for decades and decades were rude to their wedding party. Head tables were considered the proper way of seating the wedding party, but they are going out of style and that's not a bad thing.

As for us, we had a sweetheart table and seating our attendants with their family and friends.

@Goingtothechapel, there a plenty of things that people have done for decades and decades that are rude/mean. There are tons of crappy traditions. As someone who was split up from my partner at wedding, that I literally knew no one but the bride/groom and my FH knew no one, I felt really awkward and was pissed.

I think that head tables are acceptable. Ashley, I am sorry you had a bad time.

I haven't seen a head table in like forever. Personally, I think that your BP should be able to sit with their partners.....

Once in a great while, I'll see a King's table, with all the BP and their partners but it's always mixed in with the other tables, not all by itself on a stage or in the front of the room.

@Elizabeth...the decisions are all on the bride, eh?!?

I agree with pps, advise her to have a sweetheart table or a king's table. It is extremely rude and uncomfortable to separate the bridal party from their partners. I'm a BM in a wedding this Spring and I know they are doing a head table, I'm already dreading it. I so badly want to tell the bride that its rude and she should reconsider but, I can't figure out how to do it without being rude myself.

@HappyHedgie, could you just say 'hey I've noticed a lot of couples are using this or that instead of a head table...thought it might be of interest to you'. If the couple is interested, they will look into.

Ambrok, that is a good idea. I think telling the Bride a head table is rude is likely going to create friction. Bride may look at wedding planning/etiquette books, and see head tables are acceptable.

A lot of people do not like sweetheart tables, they think they are too "look at me." Other alternatives might be just have MOH, Best man, their SOs with the bride and groom.

"Oh please, head tables are not rude. Saying that means couples for decades and decades were rude to their wedding party. Head tables were considered the proper way of seating the wedding party, but they are going out of style and that's not a bad thing. "

They most certainly ARE rude. To me, they're just like not inviting a significant other. In both situations, you're separating couples and in terms of a head table, you're essentially doing it for no reason whatsoever, other than photos. Otherwise, it shouldn't matter to you if your bridal party is eating with their significant others when you, as the bride or groom, are.

@Ambrok, the OP specifically cited only her daughter, so yes, I'm talking only about the bride in this case.