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Mrs. J
Expert October 2018

Has anyone asked you if they can bring someone to "tag along?"

Mrs. J, on October 1, 2018 at 6:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 27

I don't know why but I keep getting this question! One of FH friends asked (exact verbiage: "do you mind if [BF] tags along?" if she can bring her BF along (that she just started dating) when she's already bringing her mom as a plus one. That's going to be a hard pass. She said "I really want you to meet him" to FH. Great, y'all can have dinner or something, we're not going to meet with new people the day of our wedding when our time is already thin with family we love and barely see. Sigh. Is it just me?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Mel, on October 2, 2018 at 3:31 PM
  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    My cousin wanted to bring his sister from the other side of his family. I didn’t even know she existed until he asked. That was a no from me. He is already bringing his two daughters, and his other sister is coming.
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  • Chariece & Sterling
    VIP December 2026
    Chariece & Sterling ·
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    Wow sometimes you have to say to yourself did that just come out of their mouth?
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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
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    Ugh so rude. I don't know why some guests don't understand invitations and dare to ask if someone else can come!

    Um, no. If I wanted them to come I would have invited them...

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Was she dating her boyfriend when you sent out invitations?

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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    No she wasn’t. They went on their first date last week. I did ask if she wanted a plus one since she wouldn’t know anyone and she’s bringing her mom, which was fine because FH knows her mom. Deadline for the headcount is today and she asked today about him. Lol invites have been out for nearly 2 months.
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  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2019
    Kimberly ·
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    My FH has the best response. He said, if you're comfortable giving a total random person $100 on the street you can have a plus one that we don't know. Weddings are expensive and sometimes I think guests forget just how much it costs to bring an extra ring person.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Ugh, the worst part of that is phrasing it like "tagging along" as if it's NOT a big deal/a huge expense for you. Like "can my boyfriend tag along with us to the mall this afternoon?" No it's a wedding, don't act like it's not a big deal to invite someone else -.- sorry you're dealing with this!

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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    She could just bring the new boyfriend instead of her mom. I would suggest that. It doesn't matter if you know the plus one - it matters that your guest wants their company.
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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    She could but she wanted both options, her mother already bought a new dress etc so she didn't want to swap.

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  • I
    Savvy October 2018
    IDCuckoo ·
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    I can't tell you how many people have afford to bring more people... Kids, mothers, out of town guests, BF's, GF's. It's been amazing to me. I've said no to every request.
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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    Only like $50 pp LOL. People don't realize that. Thanks girl Smiley sad Going crazy.

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    We had a mom ask if she can bring her youngest son, in addition to her husband. Nooope.

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  • Mrs. J
    Expert October 2018
    Mrs. J ·
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    Exactly!! I'm trying to keep my wedding small and intimate on purpose so I can spend enough time with everyone, and now everyone attending is someone either FH or I know so it worked out nicely.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm so sorry! I'd just tell her something like "I'm so sorry, our budget & venue only can accommodate one plus one per person so for our wedding you'd have to just bring your mom or boyfriend but not both. But we would love to get together for dinner after the wedding and meet him!". I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

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  • N
    Dedicated September 2020
    Nathalia ·
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    She's barely known him! Like WTF... what about if you said "i already gave my head count to the caterer, sorry, but he can stop by after dinner, during the dancing portion." Although, that would be REALLY nice of you, i still think it's rude to ask that of you. Weddings are $$$$, does no one get that?! So rude of them.
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  • Stephanie
    Devoted October 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    I don’t think it’s just you..unfortunately some people just don’t have basic courtesy or common sense. A wedding is a day about the couple and while you want the guests to be happy, they’re not the number one priority. Therefore if you’re only allowing a plus one (and I’m sure it’s clearly stated on the invites) then they need to decide if they want mom or BF as that one. You’re absolutely right, it’s not the time or place to meet anyone new.
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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    Oh, and for the icing on the cake to my post, she asked on my facebook wall.

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  • Miranda
    Devoted October 2018
    Miranda ·
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    Omg I can’t believe so many people do this. FH BM (his brother) asked to bring some friends even though we have him a plus one and his girlfriend is coming. His uncle said he’s bringing a friend even though he’s a grown man with a wife and three children (who are all also attending) he said he knew it’d be ok because we gave his mom a plus one and she wasn’t bringing one 😤 I also had several people rsvp that their adult children were coming with them even though we didn’t invite them
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  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
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    Definitely not just you! We tried to avoid this by specifying how many were invited on everyone's RSVP cards, including names, etc. But we still had a few people that asked "hey, would it be ok if so and so came with me?" Mainly new dates, their mother "so someone could watch the new baby" and kids that we don't know (the new girlfriend's 3 kids that I've never met). Answer to all of them was "no, we are already at capacity/have already submitted our head count to the venue." We did have a few people asking about bringing a date/parent instead of their kids, and that was ok (hey, a head is a head...) but to add on guests was a no-no!

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  • queenbee
    VIP October 2018
    queenbee ·
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    Ugh annoying! Why do people not understand, if they’re not on the invitation they’re not invited. My FMIL tried to sneak in FSIL random “boyfriend”, who she’s been hanging out with for like a second and NO ONE told us about until after invites went out and I was collecting RSVPs. FMIL texted me the day after she handed the RSVP card back to me with all the info on it, saying “hey I forgot to tell you *rando* is having the beef.” I was like who the heck is that?! FH was so mad, he called and freaked out on her right away because I told him I couldn’t deal with it.
    Then one of my BM, FH cousin, kept telling people that she was bringing this girl who I absolutely despise as her “date” (they’re friends/work together, but we didn’t give her a plus one so...no). So when FMIL and FSIL were like you know BM is bringing Missy to the wedding as her date, she said it’s ok because Missy knows all FH friends who are invited, I flipped. I think I actually yelled 😂 FH immediately texted his cousin and was like no, you’re not bringing her. She said she was just joking about it. But if you’re telling everyone including that person that they’re coming to my wedding, and you haven’t even said a word to FH and I to even ask about it, that rubs me the wrong way. People are so freaking rude when it comes to weddings!!
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