guests that come with no gift ?

@ Richard.... let's start over please... Sorry for calling you a "D" it was my first day on here and honestly I was blown away from some of the comments.. So I hope you can accept my apology. I'm new at this! First wedding I'm helping my daughter plan. It really was just an honest question and now I understand your humor and bluntness.. Your comment up top made me laugh out loud !! Hope we can move on from this

Um, you don't. There is no need. Get over it. It's embarrassing that this is even a question.

I didn't. You had your day. It's over let it go. Although it's very tacky

Well this escalated since I last commented. Wow OP. -_-

Sorry you are feeling embarrassed. I'm thinking there is something more here than the fact the gifts were not given. Are you feeling bad because these guests were invited at your request?... which means there was added wedding costs?

No gifts are required for guests attending your wedding. Their presence is gift enough. You could just not send a Thank You card for them attending

Don't

I want to go through and like all the comments ;D this is hilarious. I definitely think you should send them an un-thank you card. Jk

I know this is an old discussion... But I just had a wedding last week.
This discussion is actually helping me with my similar dilemma.
A friend of mine who always says "oh I have something for you, but it didn't get delivered in time. So I'll bring it over next week." Stuff like that. So that was a month ago and I'm still waiting on that. Prior to that, had to chase them down for their RSVP for the wedding. Never got one but was coming. Before they even knew we were inviting them, they said "I want to get you guys something. Where are you registered?" Never got anything. Ok fine. So she comes to the wedding. My husband and I figure out whose gifts were missing. This person was one. So a mutual friend legitimately forgot theirs home but brought it to us a couple days ago. They spoke to the friend who didn't give a card/gift and said "haha I didn't give them [us] anything either. Oh well."
So I'm looking at everyone's responses on here. Half and half. And I totally get that it's a gift. But putting etiquette aside.. the joking part of "oh well"?? That upsets me. All I'd like to say to them is "hey, we have a few cards missing from our box (which is true). Just want to make sure you didn't have one with a check and got lost." Something to that effect.. especially since our parents had to keep emptying it out because of the amount of cards.
Another friend mailed us a check and got lost in the mail and none of us ever received it. So they had to cancel the check out and contact their bank. I know that's a different situation, with it being mailed, but I think some will understand what I mean.
So what to do, what to do...?

PS: just innocently ask them once. If they then say "omg I'm sorry. I'm going to mail it out" and it then doesn't come? Then it could be forgotten. It just bothers us that they thought it was funny.

First of all, no requirement at all to give a gift if you go to a wedding. Most people do, but not required. And the general guideline is that gifts are sent before the wedding, or up to 6-8 weeks after the couple return from their wedding. So far the only breach of etiquette here is people who assume a gift was due or required , and are ill mannered enough to ask about it. No gift was or is a requirement. Any you fo get, be grateful. The rest , do not be so mercenary as to keep track and consider voluntary gifts missing. Get over it.

Hahahahaha!! i love that this post came up again, I am the original poster of this conversation! Just hosted my second wedding 3 weeks ago! Were there some guests that left no gift or card, Yup! and one was a repeater from the first wedding. Close family member... he actually jumped in on the father daughter dance and had to be escorted from the dance floor ( nicely escorted) lol Do I still believe it is appropriate to gift the new Mr. & Mrs?? YUP, i do !! There were some guest that felt awful for forgetting a card, and mailed it immediately. So out of 312 guests, there were only 2 guests that did not bring even a card. So if you look at the ratio here, it is custom and proper etiquette to bring a gift in my opinion. My children, nor I, would ever attend a wedding without a gift. And future brides, don't let people on this site ever talk down to you or judge you. Everyone has their on opinion on this subject and that's fine. I could care less about the negativity! So good luck on all your wedding planning future brides and grooms or anyone on this site that is planning and financially supporting a wedding for their children. Enjoy every second, it comes and goes so quickly !! On to the next chapter, just found out my son and his wife are expecting and I'm going to be a grandma ! And my newly married daughter and my new son-in-law just bought their first home !! Peace out wedding wire !!

View Quoted Comment Hahaha congrats again!! And congrats Grandma-to-be!
I definitely second everything you've said!
So have you done/said anything to those who "forgot" a card/gift? If so, what was done/said?

Thank you!

Sorry that's rude to even expect anything. Some people cant afford it and do want to be there to celebrate, but cant afford anything else.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks !! and thanks !! lol any gifts that were forgotten have been received, except for the same guest from the my son's wedding... and it's not worth even bringing it up... hahaha... ( side note, this man is very financially secure, divorced and living the life very well...)