Guests of guests

View Quoted Comment At the end of the day you do what’s best for you and partners financial situation.

View Quoted Comment I gave all my single guests a plus one. Who were they going to dance with otherwise?

Go with what you can afford. A lot of people on here will say etiquette is all guests should get a plus one. That is not feasible for a lot of people, and you don’t need to go in debt. Determine how you want to split it up (length, engaged, living together, etc) but make sure any guest you invite either knows someone else there or give them a plus one.

We want to keep our wedding intimate and since it's only family, we only are giving plus one's to significant others whom we have met and aren't new relationships

We did plus ones if they are at least engaged or living together, or if they’re in the bridal party.

We are of course a long way from sending out STD's or invitations but we have simply asked those that have just started dating would they be bringing a significant other and they were very upfront with yes or no for the ones that we are definitely inviting. Again, we're still far out and we'll revisit it again as we get closer to STD's but we are at a starting point.

This is tricky and frustrating.

I am going with if you know who the other person is, invite them. If they're engaged or married I would include them.

My one friend is casually dating people. He doesn't have a plus one and understands that. I told him if by the time the wedding comes around if he has someone serious I'll try and make it work. Friends communicate with each other.

I have another friend who both people say they're casually dating. He's not getting a plus one.

I read somewhere someone suggested, "If you'd pay 100+ for the person's dinner, invite them". That's something that helped me with the list. You have to create some sort of system of how to select people or you'll be inviting everyone you ever met.

That being said, If I had an unlimited budget maybe I'd give plus ones to everyone.

At what point would you have been offended if you weren't invited as a unit?
My fiance was in a wedding the week after our first date. I didnt go. 3 months later no one would have invited either of us without the other, and we weren't even official at that point.

If they're dating when the invitations go out, they should be included by name.

Man. A lot of importance is put on "etiquette" in these threads (which yes I realize you asked) but sheesh. Whatever happened to weddings are insanely expensive and you cannot invite everyone and their mother to a wedding?!

I'm going to agree with maybe 2 other people on here and say, I'm inviting people who are in serious relationships when I want to. I have a huge family and a lot of my first cousins are of dating age. Some of them have been in relationships for a few years but to be frank, I cannot invite them. Just inviting people we care about having there plus all the family we "have" to invite, I'm 22 people over my limit. If I gave all my cousins who were dating a plus one, I'd have to un-invite key people I'd rather have there.

I think at the end of the day, you have to make the decision for yourself and be willing to back it up. Is it etiquette to invite anyone who is in a relationship? Maybe. (Married or engaged, of course.) But if you cannot afford it, you cannot afford it. Money doesn't grow on trees and being responsible is important. Best of luck to you in your decisions. It's never easy, that's for sure!

This is merky waters. This is what we did and it’s still receiving backlash from some so you can’t please everyone. Anyone who is married or engaged or living with a significant other is a social unit to us so both persons got invited. There’s a groomsman who is hooking up with some girl but we are not giving him one because I don’t need some bartender chick eating my steak dinner when she’s a side chick.

We invited the couples specifically by name. There was one who happened to separate from her husband during our engagement and we told her to bring whoever she wanted in his place if she did not feel comfortable coming with him or did not patch things up by the wedding.

The only people we allowed plus ones for were our siblings and wedding party, and that's if they chose to bring anyone with them.

We are giving plus ones to everyone. We budgeted for it and I felt it wasn't at my discretion to decide who had been together "long enough" to warrant a plus one. When I was single I was always offered a plus one and either went alone or brought a friend. Theoretically I could have taken my fiance to my best friend's wedding since our first date was the day before.

Your wedding is about you and your FH. Invite who you want to invite. You should focus on the people who mean the most to you as a couple. I only did plus ones for people who are in a committed relationship or if the would not know anyone else at the wedding.

We gave plus ones to everyone since we could afford to.

If we couldnt afford to, we wouldn't have based it off of length. If they were in a relationship at time of invites going out, we would have given them a plus one If they weren't in a relationship, they wouldn't have gotten a plus one

I totally agree. For me 6 months of dating and I have to have met them.

I won't be having a timeline ("You have to be dating 6 months"). However, if someone starts dating someone AFTER my invitations go out, they will not be included on the invitation.

My one friend was really annoyed that I have a "you have to be dating" rule (Her: "You have RULES?!"). She is currently in multiple flings. With guys she's meeting online. So that's kinda where I draw the line - I will not be inviting some rando that you met on Hinge a few weeks ago, just because you want a date to the wedding (And yes, she will know at least 10 other people there, all of whom she will be sitting with at the same table. If it was someone who didn't know anyone at all, that is different.)

If you are in our bridal party, they all will get a +1, which they can choose to accept or not. (My other friend is a BM, and she's gonna get a +1 because she's single, but she is leaning towards not bringing one)

Good luck! Happy Planning!

View Quoted Comment

I agree with all of this! ^^^

We are doing a plus one to all of our single guest but we are helping control our numbers by not allowing children. I don't really care if it's your tinder date from the night before or not. I was once that random date too!

aaaaaaaaand i realize I've already commented on this haha.

If I'm being completely honest here, I not addressing any invitation with an 'and guest'. I don't have a huge family so I know who has a significant other and who doesn't. Everyone who has one, I will address the invitation with both of their names. For the people who do not have a significant other, it will be addressed to them and them only. Personally, I don't want anyone I don't know at my wedding and would like to keep the guest list as minimal as possible. This is just what we have found to work best for us.

I feel you’re pain- our venue capacity just doesn’t allow for our cousins’ significant others right now, so I’m sort of sending a blanket statement to the family that we are trying to get everyone in and as guest slots open up we will extend them to our cousins in age order prioritizing live-in partners and fiancés. All of the married couples and their kids under 12 are invited, but they’ve all been married long enough that they were around when our extended family actually got together for events. Honestly, I barely talk or see my cousins anymore so we actually had no idea that some of them even had partners- so it seemed equitable to kind of offer this way.