Guests dining separately?

I'm not a fan of separating the guests like that, I feel like it takes away from the sense of "for one night we're all here together as one big family" feeling. However if it's what works for you then I'd say it's only during dinner so go for it.

We considered a few places like that but decided against it in the end. My cousin had an absolutely lovely wedding at a historic site in the south and guests were in three rooms for dinner, then dancing outside. Pictures were in a separate area. It worked out well, actually. Nobody felt segregated at all.

As an introvert it sounds nice to me. It's not that I'm not social, I am, but smaller groups are more comfortable for me. I also love historic venues, and with them sometimes come compromises.

I would hate being in separate rooms..what ends up happening if there is a lot of rooms for people to flow into, then the dance floor gets pretty bare. I guess though it depends on the exact layout..maybe it will be okay? Are people going to be eating dinner separately from you..will they be able to see the first dances and toasts?

I was at a wedding where there was an outdoor deck overlooking a river..it was beautiful, but a lot of people spent a huge chunk of time out there talking and smoking rather than on the dance floor.

Anyone in the room that the bride and groom are not in will probably be offended

@Paris made me change my mind. I was against it until I realized it meant fewer people in the room. It could definitely work! Any pictures?

I have the same worry myself. We didn't think about it when we booked our venue. We're at a historic manor house and the entire wedding will take place on one floor. The ballroom, however, is not your usual ballroom like a hotel, etc. It will only seat maybe 3/4 of our guests. Tables will have to be placed in another room further down the hall and then some cocktail tables/chairs will be outside by the lawn games that we're going to set up.

I'm an introverted person.. so, it wouldn't bother me. I don't like crowds, really. We're going to do our best to make sure everyone feels included.

We visited a venue just like this and while it was the most beautiful place and had amazing gardens and the mansion was just gorgeous, we absolutely did not want to separate guests into 2 rooms. So we didn't go with it.

@Shannon A., I would hope they'd just understand. The venue truly is appropriate for mingling and the bar will be set up RIGHT in the middle between the two rooms.. so, I think people will be able to tell when something's going on/when it's time to make it to the main ballroom area. We're also going to be going table-to-table to say hello.

@Ab, where the FH and I would eat are things we are wondering too. We could always have a VIP room (with the bridal court and my and his immediate family) and then choose neither room, but...FH isn't too convinced either.

I'm not worried about no dancers since my huge family are dancers and it's very part of our culture but I guess others may be distracted.

We are definitely giving it thought. Sigh...

@V, are you doing assigned seating? We're not... mainly because of the separation that will have to happen. We don't want to have to pick/choose who will be in our room and then in the room down the hall... so, besides Reserved tables, it's first come, first served. That way people can't POSSIBLY say we had favortism with anyone but Immediate Family and Bridal Party and their spouses/SO's.

@Rusticbride where are you and FH eating?

@RusticBride this is what the lady showing us the mansion suggested. I loved this idea at first, but my mom mentioned that then for example, my coworkers (who only know other coworkers) would be separated throughout. Same with church friends, same with anyone who won't know a lot of other people.

Dammit. I love the venue (to the point were my mom and I said we'd take it on the spot) but now we're left with all these questions and doubts.

@V, we're eating in the main ballroom where most of our guests will be sitting...

I don't think your co-workers will be lost from each other. If they don't know anyone but each other, I'm sure they will stick together and find a table early enough with enough room for all of them to sit together. That's how us introverts do it anyway!

Don't doubt your venue because of that. Do your best to include everyone and let the rest fall into place. You never know. Maybe the rowdier people will be in one room and then the quieter people will be happy in a separate room LOL

One thing you didn't mention was music. Would the music be heard in all rooms? The reason I ask is I'm thinking that one more quiet room would be nice for the people who like to chat and catch up over dinner. It wouldn't bother me at all to be segregated and I've actually been to a wedding like that. Dancing was in one room and dining was in one room on the same floor and then a balcony up above. I thought it was nice.

Music would be our choice...we could have it in the courtyard (heard in both rooms) or elsewhere where it doesn't have to be. I definitely like the idea of putting the loud people in one room (like my complete and entire family, lol) and keep the normal people in the other room. If this is the layout, and we HAD to pick a room, we could go with the room without any family so friends wouldn't feel slighted. And my family would just deal, they just want their food, music and alc anyway. Lol.

Edit: I'm playing with the idea of visiting every table to take photos, too.

Exactly, some people may enjoy being out of the noise and crowds. As far as music for us, I know the ballroom will have it but I'm not sure about the other room. I almost want to have a speaker set up down there just so people can at least HEAR any announcements, when the cake cutting is, etc. I just don't want it to be too loud... especially if they want to be away from the noise.

Not a fan of the separate room. awkward for your guest.

We decided against it. We chose another venue today, a completely different style (more luxurious than rustic/historic) but I'm happy! Everyone will be together at all times, lol.

Thank you everyone!

@V, I am juggling the same dilemma right now with my venue. I've been told to have everything in one room but I just love the idea of separate rooms for dinner and dancing. You can use both rooms, one thing I am considering is having dinner and dancing in one room and the other room have a photobooth with red carpet leading to that room and possibly lounge furniture. Idk lol its tough!