Guest wedding Attire.

I honestly don't care what my guests wear. Their attire isn't going to affect me at all.

Honestly, most people know jeans are not appropriate for most weddings (unless it's a super casual backyard BBQ or something). Someone who is going to insist on wearing jeans will do so regardless of what the invitation says. That said, what are you going to do if someone doesn't abide by the dress code? Are you not going to let them into the wedding if they are wearing jeans? I invited people I cared about and wanted to be at my wedding because they were important to me, not because of what they were wearing. My wedding was a Saturday evening at a country club, so people were dressed in suits and cocktail dresses. I didn't specify a dress code anywhere on my invitations or website. Adults will dress themselves how they see fit. A line on an invitation is honestly not going to dissuade the person who wants to wear jeans. And if they do wear jeans, they're the ones that look out of place at a formal event.

View Quoted Comment Me personally, I abide by what the person asks me. It just is out of respect for the bride and groom. I am considering having a formal wedding. We’re paying and want what we want..

Right, but when you say you will enforce the dress code, what are you going to do? Are you going to have people turning guests away if they are dressed inappropriately? You can request formal attire (on the invitation or website), but at the end of the day, people are going to dress themselves however they want. While you may respect the bride and groom's wishes, not everyone thinks like that. I personally can't fathom ever wearing jeans to a wedding. Even if it was a super casual event, I'd still probably wear a dress of some sort and my husband would probably wear a polo and slacks at minimum, but that's because I always think of weddings as more formal events, even if they aren't at a formal event. However, you can't control other people (at least not effectively).

On our invitations we had a line at the bottom there said cocktail hour attire requested. Then on our wedding website, we put that while we want everyone to be comfortable please do not wear jeans, shorts, or sneakers. Thankfully everyone listened. However if we wouldn't have there wasn't much we could have done. People were going to dress however they wanted regardless of what we would have asked.

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree with this. If anything they will be the ones looking foolish for wearing jeans to a formal wedding. People will be giving them looks all night long. But nobody is going to judge you or say negative things about you because your cousin showed up in jeans. I went to my cousins wedding 3 years back and her mother THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE changed into jeans and a t-shirt for the reception and my cousin had a very very formal wedding. Not one single person said anything negative about the bride but people did give her mom all kinds of looks and where making comments about how they couldn't believe how at her daughters own wedding she couldn't dress formal for a day. It just showed the guests her character not the brides.

I don’t care what guests wear. We care more about the people invited attending than what they wear as long as it’s not offensive. Plus we aren’t having a super formal wedding where fancy dress code is required by the venue for entry. Not casual either but the majority understand that semi formal is the unspoken default. Also, the elders in our families/social circles would not let us live down telling people what to wear as it’s seen as impolite. My father is the only one who would show up in jeans and he isn’t on the guest list due to toxicity/abuse so there is no contact anyway.

View Quoted Comment The day of coordinator will be allowed to turn folks away. Personally I dress to fit the occasion. However why come to a classy event, disregarding the bride and grooms request? I think it’s a selfish move.

View Quoted Comment That’s what we’re going to do as well. Adults should know how to dress...but we know otherwise.

View Quoted Comment Wow, it’s not a reflection of the bride in any way, but what a shame. People can research formal wear if they are unsure of what it is.

Okay, from my professional, etiquette-based side: technically, you should only note something about a dress code on the invitation if your venue itself has a strict dress code (like if they've told you "we'll turn people away if they're wearing jeans, baseball hats, shorts," etc.) or you're hosting a full-on black tie (or white tie) wedding, which means you're providing valet, multi-course meals, a really elevated experience.

On a personal note: this is one of those things that my brides have hyper-focused on in the past as a big anxiety. Truly... it's not worth the stress. Worrying about how other adults will interpret things/what they'll wear, is so far down on the list of pre-requisite wedding worries. I know it's easy to say, "forget it," but really, it's not worth the brain power to dwell on something that's super trivial and, as others have mentioned, will only make the person look bad/disrespectful/etc.

I also don't recommend having your DOC turn people away for not adhering to the dress code. In the end, you're the only one paying the price for that (literally. You'll have already paid for their meal.) and it could start entirely unnecessary drama you'll have to deal with in the immediate aftermath of your wedding. Not a time you want to invite that kind of stuff into your life.

TL;DR, it's not worth the mental energy.

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Agree 100% that it should not be mentioned unless the venue requires it.

View Quoted Comment The venue does not specify it, however I think that if you’re paying for the person’s dinner it should be your call. In my cousin’s wedding, they came to get her, because my others cousins girlfriend was dressed in jeans. It caused a distraction because they said they said they thought she walked in from outside.

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Okay, so you can specify to your venue staff/DOC/any other vendors not to make a scene because of guest attire.

As others have said, (and I obviously don't recommend doing this) but you can tell everyone 'til you're blue in the face that you have a strict dress code. But you won't be able to walk into every guests' home, go into their closet, pick something out, and dress them in it. Adults are going to do what they're going to do. The only thing *you* can do is not give it the mental/emotional energy to ruin your wedding.

I didn’t care what people wore. I honestly had enough to worry about to add on another layer of stress. Plus I’ll be honest I only had 17 guests at my wedding and except for my mom, I can’t remember what anyone wore

I am certain that there will be at least one person who turns up in something well outside of our dress code, but it is what it is. We've put a dress code in the details of our e-invite, but we won't turn someone away who turns up in something ludicrous, whether it's cargo shorts, a white embellished gown or jeans. We'll probably just thoroughly mock them in private for years to come, lol.

In all seriousness though, it would be in good spirit - we'll be happy to have them there in whatever they wear.

We are having a black tie wedding and our dress code will be black tie so as to match the occasion. Our venue don’t have any specific dress code requirement for entry but I am 100% noting the dress code on the invitation. I know some people on here feel that you shouldn’t because it’s “not good etiquette” but I’ve literally never heard of anyone spitting the dummy because of being told about a dress code and I have zero reservations with ‘breaking etiquette’ on this one. Unless it is a very casual wedding, jeans are a huge no no.

Why are you going to write? Formal attire requested or cocktail attire? I have the same concerns.

My FMIL I know will wear a dress, but her husband can’t be trusted to dress himself 😂. He wore jeans to his own wedding to my FMIL so I’m pretty nervous as well. I don’t think I’ve seen him in a shirt but three times since I’ve been dating my fiancé. Usually he’s in gym shorts and nothing up top. So my invitations will have dress codes on them SPECIFICALLY for him and the people around him to help him 😂

View Quoted Comment Yes I’m thinking along the same lines, or no casual wear.