Guest inviting themselves!!

I would just tell your MOH how it is, You cannot afford to have both her mom and husband come, and you appreciate the offer to pay for her, but if you let her bring an extra guest, then alot of people will be upset with you b/c you didn't let them bring an extra guest. And just tell her again, that the budget is not very accomoadting as you would like it to be, but it's still important for her and her husband to be there, ANd if anyone asks about being invited or tries to give you their adress, just say "OUr budget is really small, and we can't invite everyone, so it's going to be small and intimate, mostly close family and friends"

BTW, I had a simular issue with my SIL PARENTS! They asked when we were getting married and I said August, and they thought August this year, and asked why they didn't get an invite! I then told them that it was August next year and that wr haven't did the guest list yet, but we are trying to keep it as small as possible...

I agre with the pp and most people who say those things to you now might not even realize by the time the wedding comes anyways. most people dont even notice to be honest haha

I've had this happen with the random people asking for an invitation - sometimes even people I don't know ask me for one (they're friends with FH, but the first time they ever speak to me is to ask for an invite to the wedding! Ask him! As far as I'm concerned you don't belong there!) so it's not uncommon. I've just taken to smiling and saying "Okay!" and then forgetting about it. Most likely they will forget about it between now and then, and if they don't then don't back down -weddings are expensive and personal affairs. I don't know about you, but I personally don't care to share one of the most intimate and personal moments of my life with every single person I've ever met.

Thank god for this site. Thanks so far for all your advise. I just wish you were with me when i say no your not invited. I hope to stand my ground!! I just can't believe people sometimes and im glad to hear its just not me. I thought i had strange friends.

I think it's rude to go up to the bride and groom and ask for an invitation. If they want you to be there, you will receive an invitation. My FH is starting to get those 'will I be invited?' already and I told him to be diplomatic but firm about it. We are keeping it close family and closest friends. Not out of budget reasons, but because, like wowjunkie stated, I don't care about having people at my wedding who I don't really care about.

If you are truely having only close friend and family your maid of honor and her parents should understand there is no room for them (the parents). What if you told her it was a budget issue as well as a space issue? You could say that you have given your final count to the venue/caterer and it's to late to add?

STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!

I am so glad to hear I'm not the only one who is experiencing people saying they want an invitation. LOL I've had people who I haven't seen or spoken to in several years (really like more than 10) say they want an invitation. I can't really tell them our wedding is going to be small and intimate because we're expecting about 250 guests when it's all said and done. I do say that our guest list is mostly family (which is true my family is huge) and only very close friends. Our budget cannot accommodate more.

You can also tell people you have a limit at the venue if you are looking for something to say.

I have also had people who assume that they are going to be invited. I'd love to be able to invite everyone but the budget won't allow it. I've just taken to telling people that we are having a small private wedding for our families. If you say family AND FRIENDS they will wonder why if you are inviting friends that they weren't invited. So I say Family only.

A woman at work walked up to me and stuck a piece of paper in my hand with her address on it and said she expected an invite to my wedding! I just looked at her. My invites went out a while back and of course I didn't give her one. I don't even talk to her unless it's work related! I'm sure she must realize by now that it ain't gonna happen! Why do people think they can just do what they want? I guess it's better than her just showing up...

LOL, I am so glad I am not the only one having this problem! Luckily I have a pretty tight knit group at work, so anyone outside the group won't think it's odd if they are not invited. However, my MOH called me one night and to give me a heads up and informed me that a friend of our's was planning on picking up a mutual acquaintance on their way down here for the wedding...the mutual friend wasn't even invited! And she is planning on coming with him! I said that was fine, but she can't eat Lol. I invited his fiance, but why on earth anyone thinks it's ok to bring ANOTHER guest, and why she thinks it's ok to come if she didn't get an invite is beyond me. I haven't heard anything from either one of them yet, and I am hoping now that he got my invitiation and sees that he has to pick his meal out ahead of time, he will realize he can't just go around inviting people to MY wedding. My poor MOH wanted to say something, but she didn't want to feel awkward around all of them.

What is it with people and their ridiculous lack of manners?! I am laughing right now too -- I can't get over how many people just assume they are invited to your wedding. And, it always seems to be the people who would be the last ones you'd think to invite (maybe that's why, though - because they're rude, so you'd never want to invite them! ha ha) So glad we're not alone on this issue, ladies!!

I agree - stand your ground. This is your wedding and at the end of the day it's up to you who comes. Sure, there are always manner-less people who may even show up uninvited / unannounced - but, that's when it's time to just roll with the punches (and have another glass of Champagne!) :-)

We had the same thing happen to us! In short, a lady that was invited to my sister's wedding saw my grandma a few weeks ago and was like "See you in a few months for the next one!" When my grandma told me this my mom and I were like "She's not invited. We didn't invite alot of people form our old town because we don't see them anymore plus they'd have to travel." Well, needless to say, I broke down and sent her a Save-the-Date card. Grrr....I just hate when people invite themselves!

Same thing happened here. You have to stand your ground. Firmly, consistently, and politely apologize and explain that your parents are the host of the wedding and they can only afford so many guests. When they offer to pay for themselves (isn't that horrifying?), respond, "How kind of you, but my parents would be mortified." Do this even if you're throwing the wedding!

Im in the same boat. but its my MOM that wants to invite everyone. She gave me her guest list and it was 300 people! I havent even added my friends to that.

I made the mistake of trying to tell my bridesmaid that her little brother couldn't come to our adult only reception and almost lost a best friend, so stand your ground but if it gets too crazy be wiling to make a couple of exceptions, espacially for someone in the wedding party who has probably put alot into it.

Chalie that was my problem too! I cut out a few of my mom's friends, but I wish I would have done more. There are some people who I know she is friends with, but I honestly wouldn't know them if I ran into them on the street. I know I won't be able to remember all of their names when I see them at the reception, and that is probably my biggest stresser. Be firm about it!

I also had people from work assume they were invited, but that was because a few women there threw me a bridal shower and invited everybody to the shower, even though I wasn't planning on inviting them to the wedding. I wasn't sure how to handle that situation so I broke down and invited them all. It's like 15 people and I knew a bunch of them wouldn't be able to come because it is a busy week at work, but that could have been bad.

Oh my I had someone who wasn't even on the guest list e-mail me and ask who my bridesmaids were. That could have been an innocent question, except I know this chick. There are no innocent questions. She was trying to see if she was on the list and the funny thing is she isn't even invited to the wedding! Why would you be in my wedding party if you aren't invited to the wedding!

This is a problem that I am also having we both work at the same place so everyone assumes that they will be invited. However we are paying for it ourselves and our budget is very small. I was planning on having a small reception, it is looking like a about 175 poeple now instead of the 100 that I had figured on orginally.