Guest colors

I disagree with most of the others on the thread it’s not like a all white or all black affair is unherd of. 8/10 people are going to go buy a outfit to wear to yur wedding anyway lol .. it’s not like yur saying wear only purple with black stripes lol

I see how the rest of thread is going, but I don't think *requesting* certain colors is too much. I think this is a cultural thing on my part (my family is West Indian, this wouldn't be a faux pas).


For example, I've definitely been asked to wear pastel colors to one family wedding.
However, it's important that it's:
1) worded as a *request* not a requirement (sorry!)2) not on the invitation itself (e.g. put the request on the RSVP card, an insert in your invitation envelope, on your wedding invite, or floated by word of mouth)

View Quoted Comment So what you are saying is that a color choice is more important than having your friends and family in attendance at your wedding? Well ok then, go for it. I personally would find this to be very rude and a ridiculous request.

If you really feel like this day is more about your ideas and creating an overall mood and aesthetic then I get it. I'm sure its hard because you want your dress color to be a surprise and not straight up tell them don't wear red. Maybe you can make it an only black and white for them so they stick to it, but have some flexibility. Let's be real most of us have something black in our closet we can choose from. I personally think it would be fun to show up with a certain attire, but I love weddings, shopping, and dressing up. Not everyone is like that or doesn't have the money and may be hurt by being excluded (or show up not reading the memo in whatever they want anyway). I would think about a couple things:
- Is this just about what I want and am I being too strict/stubborn and worried about a small detail?
- Maybe if you stick with it you can put something like "please reach out if you have any concerns". Or maybe if someone you really wanted doesn't rsvp and you think that may be the reason you can have an individual conversation about it.Side note, red is my faveee color. Not a lot of people where red to a wedding anyway. You are going to look so stunning, no one in a basic red cocktail dress or button up standing next to you or for a photo op is going to compare. I personally want my guests to show up in a gorgeous look and for your guests that may just be a red outfit. It could be something fun to see who does show up in your color and make for a laugh and bonding moment.

The "request" thing is a good idea so that people can try to stick to it and don't feel like you are being to pushy. Also, your people/guests should know you well enough to expect something like this from you, right?? So they probably want to make you happy too and will be down.

View Quoted Comment Exactly Jasmin either way ppl go buy new outfits black and gold is the easiest colors to find plus they probably already have an outfit in the closet

I've been to weddings like this and while I definitely side-eye the couple depending on how demanding they're being, as long as I don't have to buy something new I go with it. Black and gold seems fairly easy; as long as you don't mind it heavy on the black side since that's way easier. Especially for men - and on that note, you might want to mention that you're wearing red bc I'd totally throw on a red tie for a pop of color if I had no warning.

I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve heard of people having theme parties, and I think it’s all in the delivery. I think if you find a playful way of presenting it, people honestly will have a lot of fun with it. If I was asked to wear a specific color, I wouldn’t be offended. Even if I didn’t understand or agree with it, I would just shrug it off as it’s not my wedding and the couple can do what they want. Do whatever will make you happy and not cause any regrets.

I agree with the last two ladies on here. 1) People make the weddings black tie or formal so in those cases people have to wear certain things like suits and a tux. Not everyone has that in their closet and suits or tuxedos cost more then a black or gold dress. 2) What’s she’s requesting is not that hard. Who doesn’t have a black dress???🤷🏽‍♀️ Plus if you don’t it’s easy to get one and like the other girl said a lot of times women buy a new dress for the wedding they are attending. It’s just not that serious. That’s like her theme and it’s not unheard of. I just don’t it’s heard of in certain circles or cultures. That’s why people shouldn’t assume that her guests will have a problem or dislike it because I’m sure they have attended an affair with this theme. It’s probably why she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. It’s just different then what others are use to.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Jasmine cause they was making me feel like I’m controlling when either way they most likely was going to buy something to wear anyway

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Girl you seem to have made up your mind. I mean the worse that can happen is these people you were invited either a. dont come and/or b. no longer are interested in being in your life. it seems like you are okay with that. Only comment for you to consider is your grooms position on this matter, since it's his day too.

so what are the expected colors?!?!

View Quoted Comment Exactly I feel if they feel some type of way they didn’t want to come know way lol but my colors are black gold and red

View Quoted Comment I would set your rsvp date somewhat early to adjust accordingly. I could imagine most people have black gold or red to wear. What if everyone wore black cuz its the easiest color to find. Would u then be upset?


One more thing to consider, weddings are also a big deal to the parents sometimes they want to stand out a bit and not just be another guest.
Good luck. Post pics after!

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I personally think that denying someone entrance into your wedding because they aren't wearing one of your "required colors" would classify as controlling. Not everyone can afford to buy a new outfit for every single wedding they attend! Requesting that people wear certain colors is perfectly fine, but demanding that they do so is not.

View Quoted Comment Sometimes they do the most on here lol I don’t really understand. I would not refuse entry people over it but I don’t think you’re gonna have a problem with it. It sounds like fun! I’m jealous I’m not attending a wedding like that

View Quoted Comment Lol but everyone seem to be on board know one had nothing to say so I’m thinking everything would turn out perfectly

View Quoted Comment Then that’s what matters lol

View Quoted Comment I was going to suggest a wedding website for this! I agree with this

I don’t think anyone here was trying to attack you, or that they didn’t get where you were coming from- they just didn’t agree with you. You came on a public forum and asked for an opinion, then you flipped the script and became incredibly defensive when people didn’t give you the answer you wanted to hear. You’re saying you have already told your guests about the attire requirement, and none of them had an issue. So i’m really kind of confused as to why you even asked the question 🤔
That being said, I personally would have no issue with a couple requesting me to wear a certain color to their wedding. The most polite way to go about that would be to include a simple line, some thing to the effect of “The bride and groom formally request guests to wear black and/or gold attire”. It is direct and to the point, but by using the term “request”, it does not come off as a demanding bridezilla. If I received that request from a couple, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I would just wear the preferred color. If for no other reason, just so I wouldn’t stick out in the crowd as the only person who didn’t follow instructions! Lol

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If you truly don't care if they don't come to your wedding, then don't bother inviting them.