"Greenback" Bridal Showers...tacky or...

I think you should make a small registry, because although I wouldn't have an issue being asked for cash, some people may. My grandparents won't even just give me cash for my birthday they get me a gift because it is more personal..

Thanks Nalani! I am a little leery about doing this but where we are paying for everything, it sorta makes sense. On the other hand, I don't wanna offend anyone...ughh the stresses of planning a wedding!!

Most people these days live together before they get married, so they already have what they need. Also most people pay for their wedding. That said, asking for cash is still rude. The idea of the registry is that people have an idea of what you may want. They will end up giving you whatever they want to, which may be cash.

I think telling someone what to give you is rude, whether you are asking for cash or getting pissy because they bought something not on your registry. A registry should be suggestions of things you would like but it's not a shopping list.

What about a honeyfund account?

I am ok with honeyfunds if it is in addition to a traditional gift registry. That makes it a choice and not a directive.

Tacky to just ask for money. If they make it a theme shower then you can get gift cards towards your honeymoon etc though.

My cousin's daughter had a "coin shower." I received an invitation to it, even though 1. I lived more than 2,000 miles away, and 2. she was having a small, intimate (immediate family only) destination wedding which I was not being invited to. Yeah, I didn't send any "coin."

Of course, she ended up splitting from her husband a couple of weeks after their 1 yr anniversary.

Asking for cash? Tacky, in my opinion.

If you don't need physical gifts then skip the shower. No one wants to watch you open a bunch of cards...

If someone really wants to throw you a pre-wedding party then come up with something besides a shower - you can do a chocolate tasting, crafts, something like Wine & Canvas / Wine & Design, pottery making.

Agreed, Carrie. We are skipping a shower.

I think honeyfund, honeymoonwishes, etc. are good as long as you do have an alternate registry with other options.

Personally I feel like greenback is tacky and to me it seems like your begging for money. Just my opinion. I wouldn't have one, but I also don't have a ton of the stuff we want/need for the house. You could do a honeymoon fund, or just ask for gift cards to your favorite places etc.

There are registries here on WW that are cash only and are very tasteful.

My FH and I have lived together for 10 years, so we don't need any household items.

Look at my WW website and you'll see what I did.

https://www.weddingwire.com/caminosandnishida

Thanks for all of your input. I think what I may do is go with the small registry/honeyfund idea. I also thought it was a little unfair to expect your guests to feel as if they had no option but to give cash for the shower, but I am new to this whole wedding thing so just needed some other opinions! Thanks

I'm also not wanting a shower but my mother and her best friends are insistent. They literally said call it a greenback shower...I had NEVER heard of it...seriously??? We do have a honeyfund account and that's it. IDK...very confused!

Carrie...Well said!

Where I come from showers are for gifts, imho and weddings are for cash(gift cards or checks). However, wedding gifting is like the unspoken topic between a guest and a host.

I am in a bit of a predicament. Cate lives in Florida, but is being married at home because mostly all of her family is here. The BM's, her FMIL and I are throwing her a shower in April. It would be far more convenient for Cate and her FH to receive gift cards, but imho, the purpose of the shower is to, "oooh and aaaah" over the gifts. I refused to suggest anyone wrap a picture of the gift and open it at the shower. It just is not within my comfort zone. Her FMIL has told RSVPers who have declined the shower, but offered to send a gift to have them shipped to her house(the FMIL's house in Florida).

I still don't know how I feel about honeymoon registries.

Ya its really confusing!! I think alot of Italian people have greenback showers, because the girl I work with that told me about "greenbacks" said its common amongst her fam (they're italian). Does the honeyfund account just look like people are buying you gifts but you get the money?? I'm a little confused with that too lol

Im italian..no its not common...again depends on who you're talking too. Showers are for gifts... bottom line..the people coming know that. Have some stuff. Maybe you don't have a wedding dinner set that YOU TWO choose together, some kitchen linens, pretty art, some fun wall sayings, etc...go to target, go NUTS...coffee pot you always wanted....an immersion blender...anyhow. In Italian weddings, old school NY Italian weddings a lot of the older generation bring CASH. Cash is pretty typical, cause we all know ppl can use it. Some ppl just like to choose a gift and wrap it all pretty, lol... IMHO, its rude to ask for money.

We skipped the shower and did a small registry for the wedding. Most people ended up giving us cash or gift cards. It's rude to ask for cash.

Ya I am definitely going to register for some things, probably at BB&B..we do need some stuff for the house, and I think its a good idea for us to do the honeyfund account as well just to give people an option. Its just gonna be hard to try to do it in a tasteful way..wish me luck lol

I would not feel comfortable hosting, attending, or being the honoree at a greenback shower. I've hosted theme showers for girls who didn't register - diapers/books for a baby, recipes/spices for a bride. But a greenback shower seems like a really awkward fundraiser.

Along those lines, I will never understand Honeyfund. Everybody can use more money. Everybody knows that everybody can use more money. People who want to give you money, will give you money. People who don't want to give you money, won't give you money even if you ask for it, and then they'll side-eye you too. Yes, gift etiquette is a complicated social dance and when you think in only practical terms (ie., "All we need is money so why not ask for it?") then it seems ridiculous, but it's not just about that.

/endrant/