Honey B.
Master May 2012

Grandparent Memorial?

Honey B., on September 22, 2011 at 1:47 PM Posted in Planning 0 22
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I know that your wedding day is supposed to be a day of celebration and happy but both my FH and I have had a close grandparent die and I was wondering what anyone has done as a remembrance during the wedding ceremony and/or reception. I've heard that some people have placed a picture of the decedent along with a flower on a table ... is this tacky? Ideas on what we can do to honor our deceased grandparent that we wish could physically be there?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Kate Adamson, on March 24, 2017 at 2:56 PM
  • Rae
    Master October 2012
    Rae ·
    • Flag

    I am thinking of doing a little reading for them or something. I was so very close to my grandmother so I miss her a lot and want to incorporate her into my day.

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  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
    • Flag

    I personally hate memorials or remembrances at weddings, they are nothing but a downer, but that's me. If I were to do something it would be like putting a flower on a seat for them but nothing more.

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  • Hayley C™
    Master March 2008
    Hayley C™ ·
    • Flag

    Borrow cufflinks, jewelry, a hanky of theirs...

    have a charm in your bouquet withe their picture

    he can have photo cufflinks

    Add a poem to the program.

    I like small subtile things.

    Although we cannot see you,

    We know that you are here.

    We feel the warmth of your smile,

    And can sense that you are near.

    And we want for you to know,

    Your love is still our guide,

    Memories carried in our hearts,

    You are always at our side.

    It's so sad you will not be here,

    On the day we say "I do",

    And so we say our vows today,

    In loving memory of you.


    • Reply
  • Honey B.
    Master May 2012
    Honey B. ·
    • Flag

    Hayley thank you so much for your awesome ideas.. I will definitely check into them! I didn't want to do something to noticeable and really like the idea of having photos attached to something Smiley smile

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  • Sabrina
    Master November 2014
    Sabrina ·
    • Flag

    I dont know if i would do a reading.. cause let me tell you. The day is emotional anyhow and ppl may cry out of JOy for you and your new step in life... if you do a reading... and the parent of yours and his that LOST THEIR mom or dad... they will cry for other reasons. My grandparents passed away close together and i KNOW i would never be able to sit thru a reading, i cant even think about them without crying...o, leave a chair for them. so the boquet pics, those are cute... but dont read! you want ppl crying HAPPY tears not heartbroken ones.. NO ONE will forget them, them not being there will be enough of a reminder for you and your parents and it will hurt regardless. Are their spouses still alive? Maybe jut tell them how much you know they are HERE and how you know they would have loved "this" or "that" Im playing that song, Kiss me each morning, for a million years..cause my 1 grandpa ALWAYS sang it, then i got my Mob stlye Italiany music for other grandparents during dinner

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  • Jamie
    VIP October 2012
    Jamie ·
    • Flag

    I honestly would love to do a memorial, but I wouldn't want to do it for JUST my 3 grandfathers and 2 grandmothers. I want to do it for them, plus friends and other relatives we've lost along the way which is why we are including this in our script:

    "In the spirit of Halloween, we wish to take a moment now to honor all ancestors and those who could not be here with us today. There are some that are unknown to us, who have been the forbearers of the two now before us. Please bring to mind any and all of your loved ones. With our thoughts, we can add them to our gathering. "

    I'm not sure if that'll be the EXACT reading but something along the lines of that.

    The family I babysit for recently married and they reserved seats for her late father and grandparents.

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  • Honey B.
    Master May 2012
    Honey B. ·
    • Flag

    I think we're in the same boat Sabrina! I don't think I would do a reading either because of how emotional I still get thinking about losing my Grandma... during our marriage prep classes with the church a scenario was brought up about how the Pastor had witnessed a mad die after his wife told him it was okay to leave and I immediately had to hold back tears.

    I think I am going to include a "In Loving Memory of" photo in our slideshow and maybe on the back page of the program. I am definitely though going to attach her photo to my bouquet!

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  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·
    • Flag

    Our ceremony includes a line about remembering people who can't be there with us, similar to what Jamie H. posted (without the Halloween reference) but shorter.

    • Reply
  • Naomi
    Dedicated December 2011
    Naomi ·
    • Flag

    Me and my FH are going to light a candle for our loved ones who passed for My Grandpa, His Grandma and a close friend that we both shared. In remembrance of my Uncle I and going to wrap a necklace that he gave my Mom around my bouquet.

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  • Mrs. M fka Sami B
    Master June 2012
    Mrs. M fka Sami B ·
    • Flag

    I'm in the process of gathering photos of our grandparents, wedding photos and the latest photo we have of them as a couple. I'm thinking of creating a collage with their names, wedding dates and the length of their marriage and setting it up on the guest book table. Not so much a memorial as a tribute to good marriages =). FH has one grandfather left and I have two grandmothers and frankly I don't want to bring down their day by publicly announcing that their spouse has past away.

    I really wanted to add my parents but since FH parents are divorced it would seem awkward to use my parents but ignore his.

    • Reply
  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
    • Flag

    I had charms with their photos in them. ANd had what would of been my grandma's corsage on a seat during the ceremony for her. Nothing else, anything more and it's a funeral during a wedding.

    • Reply
  • Meredith
    Expert October 2011
    Meredith ·
    • Flag

    We are going to have a memorial candle. However, I feel like it can be so often overlooked. Both sets of grandparents on my side have passed on and FH's paternal grandfather is also deceased. During our order of service we are going to have the typical seating of the grandparents and parents. I am having a cousin on my maternal side and my paternal side carry a bouquet of white roses down the aisle to lay next to the candle. And the same for FH's for his grandfather. That way - my grandma (and other grandparents) are indirectly part of that moment.

    • Reply
  • John T. Snelson V
    John T. Snelson V ·
    • Flag

    This is what a couple decided to do during their ceremony this weekend.

    Sean and Kali have also asked that we take a moment to honor those loved ones who are not with us today.

    Sean’s sister….Melissa ..........

    &

    Kali’s grandpa…Joe ..........

    Those we love we never lose, for they will always be treasured, loved, and forever in our memory.

    • Reply
  • Victoria C. Hernandez
    Master July 2011
    Victoria C. Hernandez ·
    • Flag

    I did a small table with pictures of all of our loved ones (we had quite a few) a floating candle and a poem. It was off to the side and was nice but after my wedding I found this picture tree and wished I had seen it prior to .


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  • A
    VIP December 2012
    Anonymous ·
    • Flag

    My Grandmother just passed away last December. I LOVE the bouquet idea!

    I agree, a reading will be WAY too emotional.

    Also as kind of a tribute, My dad AND my grandfather (her husband) will be walking me down the aisle.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Pugh
    Expert October 2011
    Mrs. Pugh ·
    • Flag

    Our Officiant is going to briefly mention those who could not be with us today followed by a very short moment of silence in the beginning of the ceremony. She'll move onto beautiful things after that.

    Also, at the reception, we're going to have a small table clothed in white out of the way with a 5x7 of each grandparent with a remembrance candle burning for each. We won't draw any attention to it, it will just be there for anyone who wants to see it.

    • Reply
  • Courtney's mom
    VIP September 2011
    Courtney's mom ·
    • Flag

    Courtney's grandfathers were both in the military (1 having just died a few weeks before the wedding), and she put their dog tags on her bouquet. She found a brooch from her grandmother and also put that in it. It meant alot to her to have them close to her heart.


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  • Brandie
    VIP September 2011
    Brandie ·
    • Flag

    We had a memory candle at the ceremony and also listed their names along with a poem on the program. We moved the candle to the reception so it could burn there also. My cousin had a table set up at his reception with pictures of our deceased loved ones and my brother took one look at it and cried like a baby. It was hard seeing their pictures, so I didn't want the same reaction at my wedding. We all knew they weren't there and we missed them dearly. So a candle worked best for us.

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  • Jaymie
    Dedicated November 2011
    Jaymie ·
    • Flag

    We seedling something simple... Placing a purple rose on an empty chair for my grandmother (purple was her favorite color) and a yellow rose on an empty chair for his grandmother (her favorite color), also we are having the officiant say "we would like to "we would like to remember and honor jaymie's grandmother; Louetta who is with us today in spirit and Lane's grandmother, June who is not able to be with us as well as all other family members not able to be present tonight." just something little because his grandmother is in a nursing home and mine passed several years ago.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master January 2011
    bluedaisy ·
    • Flag

    We had 1 grandparent make it to the wedding, one too ill to travel, one die just a couple weeks before the weddings and the rest had died somewhere in the last 20 yrs.

    my hubbys father had also passed away a couple years earlier.

    SOOO...to honor them all, I collected a wedding picture from each set of grandparents and both of our parents, framed them in 5x7 frames and put little cards in front saying who each was and the year they were married. I had these all on the table with the guestbook. People loved them! it was a great way to honor them and show where we came from without being dramatic or a downer.

    I've had numerous people tell me how much they liked seeing those pictures.


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