getting legally married few months before ceremony

I'm doing a vow renewal for 10 years in August and although my dress is not poofy, if I wanted to wear one that's what I would wear. And I'm having my original MOH, a ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, photographer, videographer, photo booth. It's very "weddingy" and I don't care who thinks what. Whoever doesn't like it can stay at home.

Have it your way

Thanks for the input!!!

@Nay I think it awesome you are having your original MOH!

Do it but tell everyone, I cannot stand when people hide and I will say if someone hid something like that from me, they are likely to end up with me no longer talking to them. People understand that life happens, but people don't like liars. I think its easier to actually do it and let everyone know so you don't end up with hurt feelings.

We are technically doing this too, we had to sign an affidavit of Common Law Marriage (signed in the bank and notarized, woo hoo?) so I could add him to my insurance. We didn't advertise this, but also aren't keeping it a secret. I'm having a wedding wearing a (semi) poofy dress, signing a marriage licence and feeding friends and family and plying them with alcohol. I have seen this as a touchy topic on this forum but I think it's perfectly fine. No one in our circle has any qualms about it and are happy to celebrate the day with us, so I could care less what rando internet strangers think.

We were so set to do this. I needed to go to the doctor and husband has good insurance. Our wedding was in April and we had decided to get married early in September.

Anyway 1 week before, I backed out. I was just so nervous that it would take away from the big day and I didn't like the idea of people knowing that we were already married or lying and acting like we weren't.

Future Mrs Matthews which branch...Air Force here

Do it! He's in the Coast Guard and we did it for that reason. We already had a date set, dress bought, and venue reserved when we decide to do the legal part. The Chaplin did our legal ceremony with our parents and he's also doing the religious part with everyone else at the Chapel. We weren't going to tell anyone but our parents and now pretty much everyone knows. No one judges us.

We are getting legally married a year before the wedding. We are doing it so the grandmothers can see us get married. We will NOT be telling this to people unless they ask and we are going to word our invites as "Join us in the celebration of our marriage". We are having a second ceremony as well because it was impossible for my family to attend a wedding this year anyway. I am only doing this for the sake of my FH and his grandmothers. My family will not even be there.

@Crystal - you guys should come get stationed in Alameda :-)

Thanks Future Mrs.Matthews. my MOH has been my BFF since 1996 and we got married on the back deck of her and her Hubby's (BM) house. Couldn't imagine doing our vow renewal without them

Bennett=blessed - my Hubby was in the Air Force

My hubby is Air Force too :-)

Army Reserves

@Sunshine my sister is doing this!!! She is marrying a navy man and has hid it from everyone that they have been married for 2 months. SO FREAKING LAME.

Let your guests know. A lot of people shell out a LOT of money to go to weddings expecting to see the actual marriage take place. I'm sure plenty of people will still attend even if you're already married; it's when you hide it that problems happen.

No one will care that you're already married, still feels like a wedding, do what you need to do and tell who you want to tell, no one will be offended. Brides on here get their panties in such a bunch about this! I've been to weddings where the couple was already married and totally forgot that fact, still felt like a wedding because it was a wedding. To a lot of people the religious ceremony is what really seals the deal emotionally and I'm guessing that's how it is for you guys!

Michele your day's over, you're married, you're done here, go home.

Bennett since you're in the Chair Force and Mrs Matthews is only in the reserves neither of you are really in the military lol j/k j/k love you both.

But anyway, everybody said if already. Nothing wrong with it but tell your family. Me and my ex-husband are both in the military and I was 18 when we got married. We were going to do/ halfway did what you're doing. Wanted to get married before he deployed but wanted to have a real wedding with our families. So we got married and I started planning this wedding while he was gone. I ended up breaking down and telling my family. My family and friends were heartbroken and devastated! One of the worst decisions I've made in life (including marrying him but that's neither here nor there). Needless to say after the disappointment I cause we didn't have the actual wedding. Just tell everybody ahead of time that's your plan.

If only I would have had WW back then. I woulda knew better.

^^says MrsCNN who is typing from her bed:o)

Girl I wouldn't choose any other branch! And those Reservist...they take on ish sometimes we (all) active duty don't want to do...

How are you doing Lady!? how is the baby?

@Karen I am so proud to serve! My FH is a civilian for the Army as well! (Ft butthole Sill)

Nay when did he retire

@Laudie, you guys stationed in Cali?