getting legally married few months before ceremony

I can hear the sirens right now CNN! LOL!

Ma'am do you know why we stopped you?

LMAO!

I'd figure it would be for my illegal tint lol

CNN Ur nutz! LOL!!!

Thanks :-P

We did it we're Both active duty military and we just hit a year today

OP, the below thread has some gems in it (including the aforementioned public records check). We are doing the same thing.

Page 5 is where it got fabulous. #memories

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/tell-me-this-is-not-an-etiquette-post-but-an-opinion-post/e7712ae313580e0e.html?page=5

We did this.

We got legally married on 1/4/2014. This was so we could get a jump start on DH adopting my oldest son. We told only our closest friends and family. We had a very small ceremony in my inlaw's house (where they got married 40 years ago) with just our parents and my sister.

I can honestly say that it did not take away from the big day. I don't know why it just felt different. The way I looked at it was those who cared or got offended about our January ceremony didn't matter and those who didn't care did matter. Not one guest looked at us differently. Not one guest got upset because they found out we were legally married in January.

When people would ask us about it I would just tell them "We got legally married in January but spiritually married in front of friends and family in March."

Btw some people will tell you "its not your wedding, its a vow renewal". Call it whatever you want. if you want to call it a wedding go for it. Who cares. Its your day have fun and rock whatever dress you want!

Better do my public record check...seriously

I say go for it! It's your day! Plus your money! I'm totally for it and wear your gown! Who are we to judge? Full support from me!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I say tell your family. Rey are family after all and I'm sure they would love to know and it would be special for all of you.

As for having your wedding after, DO IT! Who is anyone to tell you what you should and should not do. These are all opinions(even mine) and should never be the be all end all in your decision. If I attended a wedding and then found out the bride and groom got married months earlier 'not a single f would be given'! In would be happy and honored to be included in their special day, not butt hurt like some people say they would be.

Go for it girl! ❤❤

Hello date twin! We almost did the same thing…we were on our way to Tahoe and called the officiant and canceled. We decided we could wait. While ours was more a matter of the heart…we both just wanted to be married…the financial pluses of getting on his insurance and everything definitely made it seem more like the way to go. That being said we decided we wanted to wait since one of our best friends is marrying us and that would lose some of it's luster if we were already married. Do both, keep it a secret or tell people…it's your day.

We went to Tahoe anyway, went to beach where we were going to elope (where he proposed) and said our own little vows to each other…we even exchanged the rings we had bought and are having the latitude & longitude engraved on them of where our "secret" ceremony was. Good luck!!!

Hello date twin! We almost did the same thing…we were on our way to Tahoe and called the officiant and canceled. We decided we could wait. While ours was more a matter of the heart…we both just wanted to be married…the financial pluses of getting on his insurance and everything definitely made it seem more like the way to go. That being said we decided we wanted to wait since one of our best friends is marrying us and that would lose some of it's luster if we were already married. Do both, keep it a secret or tell people…it's your day.

We went to Tahoe anyway, went to beach where we were going to elope (where he proposed) and said our own little vows to each other…we even exchanged the rings we had bought and are having the latitude & longitude engraved on them of where our "secret" ceremony was. Good luck!!!

I think it's a great idea and makes sense. But yes I'd tell close family. My cousin did this and my family didn't know, but her parents did. Then ten days before the wedding or whatever you want to call it, the groom called off the wedding. So it really sucked because they had to actually file for divorce even though they had not really had a wedding. I actually found out much later, and it was pretty awkward. That's a bizarre case though so of course I wouldn't worry.

The legal part is just a piece of paper. The ceremony and the pledge of vows is what matters

Bennett - people are ALLOWED to disagree with you on a public discussion forum. You don't have to argue, scream and stomp your feet like a child every time someone has a differing opinion from you. Get over yourself. If people are already married, they should have the courtesy to inform their guests and call it a celebration of their marriage, not stand up there and *pretend* to be getting married for the first time.

By the way - I have read posts from many military couples who do NOT condone secret marriages. So not all military couples agree with you that it's ok. It's one thing to get married before deployment and have a celebration later; but quite another thing to keep it a secret for months or years and then pretend to marry in front of family and friends.

Emily my dear you have missed the whole point...get some sleep now...YOU WIN. bye

@SunshineJenn! OMG that post was really UNBELIEVABLE!! LOL!!!

@sunshinejenn thanks for the link to that post! now I understand the "public records/background check" inside joke. hilarious.

Omggggggg public records check, I can't.

Jeanie, please don't call the legal part only a piece of paper. I've spent 18 years of my life fighting so I could have the right to that piece of paper...

I don't think it is a big deal to do the courthouse first. If it makes sense for you than do it. But I HATE when people say it is just a piece of paper, so it is no big deal that you are married? My parents went to the courthouse 25 years ago, never had a wedding and are still "married." They are not less married because of that. Just saying.