Friends and Family who didn't make the guest list...

Ginny, I serious want to know the answer to that. I have tons of acquaintances and by that I mean people I only talk to on FB, not in person. It's awkward as I can't wait to gloat and show pics, but I have a feeling some will be annoyed for the lack of invite.

It depends on how close you are to them. If the uninvited are friends and hang out with a group and you've invited the rest of the group then yes, I would imagine that would change the relationship.

A couple my FH knew did not invite significant others to their wedding unless they were married and lived together. FH and I were only dating, but had been together for 3 years, and only he was invited. This was a couple we had had dinner with and hung out with together as couples. Needless to say, it hurt me and my FH that I was not invited and so we very rarely hang out anymore. It's too bad as FH was friends with them since high school.

I'm just tired of the ones that didnt get invited saying " I didnt get an invitation or you didnt have to invite me to your wedding." And my answer at first was sorry, then I was like, when was the last time I have talked to you especially within this last year, now I'm like, get over it.

My issuses was really "some of them I really didnt want to invite and then my family is huge and so is his so we topped our guest list off at 225.

I tried to include as much family as possible but I cut it off at my dad's cousin's kids because I just don't have the room to accommodate 50 extra people. Those who invited me to their weddings I included. None of them have really asked me why they weren't invited but we haven't gotten to the invitation process yet.

We originally wanted to invite over 150 people to our wedding, but after going over the budget we cut it to about 50 people. I was worried about all my “friends” and such that might be upset about not getting an invite. But, after I posted some pix on FB, all the feedback was positive. Even people I haven’t talked to in forever made nice comments, etc. I had one person get a little tude with me about not being invited (she was being slightly playful about it), and I just said “Hey, it was a small ceremony… we would have loved to have a lot more people, but the budget was tight”, she understood and was supportive/ nice immediately.

Anyone who gets butt hurt enough to make your relationship awkward isn’t someone I’d keep around anyway. As friends, they should understand budget/size limitations. I will add though that this doesn’t necessarily translate to family the same way… not sure how that would work out…

I have a group of friends I had to kind of split and only invite the ones I'm closest to. I heard through the grapevine that the uninvited ones were upset about it. I feel bad but it is what it is, we can only afford so much. Plus, I want people there who want to be there for me and FH, not just so they can go to a fun party and get drunk. I think I made the right choice, and if things get weird after the wedding, then that validates my choice.

We are planning a small wedding for about 60 people. I am from a small town where everyone knows everyone,I have my family and a lot of friends there that I do keep in touch with and a lot that I just chat with via FB here and there. I also moved to FL and lived for 4 years and have many friends (this is a situation where picking and choosing within a group would come into play and people i feel would want to mainly come for the party), FH and I now live in Germany as he is from here. He has 6 best friends and their wives or SO that will make the trip over and is important they are there, we have friends here we are now close with we'd like to invite. Basically I have a list of about 75 that I would like to extend the invite, but that leaves a lot of people I know that fit in one category or another who knows someone who will be invited ect. I was just curious as to people who had to cut due to smaller wedding/budget....how is it now with you and those friends you'd like to have (cont)

But couldn't. I feel like getting married means you must decide whose who in your life. I'm blessed to have a lot of wonderful people in my life in many different places, of course I'd like to celebrate with them all but reality is that we just simply can't.

OR- what about people that you stopped hearing from forever ago and now that your engaged, here they are...popped right back up and want to hear all about your wedding plans! Ahhhh....it never ends does it?

We had an extremely small (more like intimate) wedding - 30 people, including us. We managed to get the word out that our wedding/reception would be very, very small and informal. We limited our invites to immediate family, and very close friends.

If anyone was bothered, they never said anything to me. I think by telling people from the beginning our wedding was very small, and not discussing a lot of the details with anyone not directly related to the wedding, kept anticipation for an invite low.

We had a very small 15 guest wedding. It was a blessing but also sad in some ways. I remember how I felt when my uncle looked at me and asked me "So I won't be able to be there at your wedding?" It was very hard to tell him no. SO..we kept it completely off Facebook and did not broadcast it. It has been hard, and I'm wondering what people's reactions will be when we send out the wedding announcements. I think the main thing I learned about weddings is...You can't win. Someone will have a problem with something. So you really need to consider people's feelings as much as you can, try and be considerate, and then let it go. Make the decision that you feel is best and then let the rest shake out. I will say that having that small of a wedding was the best decision that we made and I don't regret it in the least. And all I have heard from my friends and family so far is that they are very happy for us.

The people we didnt invite were ppl that we dont talk to on a regular basis anyways so nothing changed. We did have a rather large wedding though and were able to invite all our family and close friends. 200 ppl

We are having a wedding of 60 people including us. My mother feels the need to invited everybody on her side. The list ended up to be 75. So I told her that her cousins was off the list and there will be no children. That brought it down to 54. We are okay with that. The venue it very nice and is not kid friendly. This is bothering my cousin who is my MOH. She makes comments like only 60 people. That is tiny. She had 350 at hers. She had more kids than adults. The kids tore up the venue.

I know there will be people who will say something but I don't care. This is our wedding. I am starting to see that you can't please everyone.

We didn't have one problem at all with uninvited friends. I posted my engagement pics, STD was my profile pic for a while, and I posted our wedding pics. Not a negative word has been spoken (to me), and if anything changed with anyone then I am unaware of it.

Thanks ladies...were having our 1st of 2 ceremonies next week and I will want to post pics after, next week is a civil ceremony here in Germany and were planning a spring 2013 wedding in the states where we will invite family and friends from both sides to, but about 60 people. I didn't want to live in an awkward limbo for a year and 5 months between ceremonies with people asking if were married or not. We've embraced our two ceremonies and all of our close friends and family know the plan. I just may have people who expect to be included who aren't bc I just cant invite everyone is all.

Nothing changed really. There were some awkward moments when the invites went out, but at the end of the day everything is really the same. BTW, we also had a small wedding of 45 people, but we wanted to have only those closest to us there. We got many cards and gifts from people who weren't even invited, so that makes me think people were still OK with it.

Edit @6 years later. I honestly wouldn't even think about inviting someone I'm only talking on FB with.

We agreed to 15 people max for the wedding since anymore than that would be expensive for one. My family is the kind where you practically have to invite everyone....or risk getting the "why didn't I or so and so get invited?!" questions. That has made me good at invitation politics in parties and such. I'm a facebook-aholic and I have a bevy of friends and family that I KIT with from out of state. I've told a few people just to let them know...and let them down gently about it so far. Just after a while I'll post pics and change my status and deal with it. *Kanye Shrug*

I don't discuss wedding plans on Facebook so the only people I talk to are those who are actually invited unless a co-worker asks.. I also make it clear (in a friendly way) that it's an inimate wedding with mostly family... Pretty much our whole family will be invited however.. I know some co-workers and my boss would like to be there too, but they understand my situation and they don't seem hurt. FH and I keep a pretty tight circle of friends too though so it's not like we left many people we are actually friends with out..

This is hard for us as well. We have only invited our immediate family and a total of 8 friends. So with a guest list between 60-80, I wasn't able to invite my whole family, although, it would have been nice to. I'm really hoping that they understand. I had a capacity limit and a budget to stick to.