Friend wants to bring her married boyfriend to my wedding

I think she's terrible for dating a married man, but how do you know that your 2nd cousin's plus one isn't married too and you just don't know it. Let it go.

I'm always the odd little duckling. I wouldn't give a plus one. Etiquette is plus ones are for those who are engaged, married or residing with each other. For bf/gf I thought rule of thumb is they dated for a year. So yeah, not happening. If she's a close friend I would discuss why I made that decision if not I really don't need to answer to her why.

Well ultimately it's your day and when you make invitations you have to say specifically who is on them. The reason is you have to know what to tell your caterer. Perhaps you can manoever around it. Unless this is your best friend forever or someone that is really important to you you could tell her you only have enough seats for your most important guests or family. Ultimately you can't control other peoples personal lives of course and your day is about you no one else so you never know they could be broken up by then. best wishes!

Maybe you can tell her that your officiant will say this sentence in near the end of your ceremony:

Lastly, grant that all married persons who have witnessed _____ and _____’s vows today may find their own lives strengthened, their commitments renewed, and their loyalties confirmed.

How did I miss this thread Wednesday!??!?!?!

Ok, let's get real. Your friend is delusional and sad to think this man will accompany her to your wedding. Here's what will REALLY happen:

The man will say he is coming to please your friend.

The man will have a last minute "emergency" or some other excuse and not come.

Humor the friend; don't count the plus one. End of story. Solved.

ps. I'm only to page 2 of comments.

^^ This is exactly what will happen.

Oh HELL no!

Wendy C. said it first and I agree with her completely. There is NO WAY this married guy is coming to your wedding. He has small children. He won't discuss divorce with his wife. It will not happen. Give her the plus one and forget it. She will be attending solo or, if she's a wreck of a person emotionally, may even pass it up because he's bailing on her.

Honestly, I think he may come. He has come out with her to events before. He works in Sales, and tells his wife that he has to work late/go to a Sales meeting for a weekend/etc.

He lives in the next city, but the connections are so close that I have 8 mutual friends with him on FB. Ugh, such a disaster.

I may be wrong here - but if she were my friend I'd have no issue telling her no, he can't come, you can bring anyone else... but not your married boyfriend.

Will he come to the wedding? Hmmm. Well, what does their dating life look like? It is dinner at restaurants that are an hour away, or does he play in his own back yard? Does he come to her place, or do they go to motels/hotels? Do they go to public places like movie theaters or malls? A wedding is a pretty big event. A cheater with a wife at home may not be quite as brave as he's leading her to believe. I don't think he'll go. I think he'll tell her he's going, but on the Wednesday before your wedding, he'll call her and say, "You're not gonna believe this, but I was just told I have to be out of town this weekend. No, there's no way to get around it. I'm sorry, babe. I really wanted to be there". That's a lot easier than trying to explain who he is while he's meeting people at your wedding. You can always tell when someone doesn't want to talk about a particular subject, and this guy will be no exception (unless he's a complete sociopath who has no problem making up ridiculous stories on the spot).

How will he tell his wife he had to attend a wedding for work? It's not going to happen.

^^^what centerpiece said. That is how it will go down.

Yeah, I doubt he's going to come to the wedding, so you probably don't have anything to worry about anyway

I would probably extend the plus 1 invitation as a wedding host, if you are inviting based on your 20-year friendship and want her there. But if she is really that good of a friend, I would absolutely have been on her case from day one about her role in destroying a marriage. You are right that having that man there would be a 'spit in the face' of marriage vows. But as little as you might like to think of it, your friend is the hussy sitting beside him. It takes two to tango--she's not respecting marriage either, and so for that argument I wouldn't want her at the wedding either.

You have 8 mutual friends on facebook. He probably knows that. He won't be there.

Give her a plus one out of courtesy. When that relationship inevitably crumbles, bring her chocolate and wine and ask her what the fuck she was thinking and that she deserves better for herself. So many women are with married men because they don't think they deserve better. That shit makes me sad.

Totally sad...

If it's any consolation, as a marriage therapist, I can almost assure he won't be the only cheater in the audience, 'spitting in the face of marriage.' The odds are very good that someone else in your audience has cheated, if is not currently cheating. The difference is you know for sure he is.

I love these comments!But I also hate the idea of cheating so I get where you are coming from, I doubt he will come