Friend wants to bring her married boyfriend to my wedding

#YourHusbandisNext HAHAHA!!!!

^^yeah, there are women that are just attracted to married men (and vice versa with men and married women... but this situation is about a married man)

@AlexisM082 I never said my friend isn't in the wrong also. I think what she's doing is awful, and I've definitely lost a lot of respect for her. But we've been friends for over 20 years. I'm not going to dump her as a friend over this.

And I absolutely agree that it takes two to tango, but he's the one who is committed to someone for life, not her. I just hope she comes to her senses soon and dumps his ass.

All I can think of is, assuming your wedding is a all day thing, how the heck can this man get away with this. Assuming he's going to be out all day or at least all evening and night. 6 months?! Damn.

But I agree, there's pretty much nothing you can do.

First of all, don't believe anything you hear -- not from her, and not from him. He will put it in the best possible light for her, and she will add a few embellishments on her own. If he is separated from his wife, then she deserves proof of that (as in, "see, this is my apartment. I live here. No wife. We are legally separated and headed for divorce. I'll show the paperwork. What do you want to know?"). If he is still going home to his wife at the end of the day or the weekend, then any woman who is dating him is his mistress. Nothing more. Never date a man who goes home to his wife. If you want to tell yourself you believe the marriage is over, fine. It's a mistake. If he did it to her, it is in his nature. Should you hit the jackpot and actually marry the guy, you will always know -- in the back of your head -- what he's capable of. If a woman can live with that, it's her choice, I know I couldn't, and I certainly wouldn't my daughter to settle for that. Backing out -- because I have no patience for men/women who cheat.

I totally agree centerpiece flowers.

To be honest I don't think I could be friends with this person either.

You should probably have an honest conversation with her.

I know that's a crazy notion, but what the heck, maybe it will work.

Just tell her, "Look.... I would really like for you to be there for the celebration of my marriage, but right now you're taking a huge shit on someone else's marriage and I just can't be down with that. So unless you break up with the asshole, and quit being a home wrecking whore, I can't have you in my life."

Cheating is never okay. As drastic as it is I'm kida with Alexis on this one... when I see cheating in movies/TV I have to excuse myself because it literally makes me disgusted to the point of actually getting sick. Never an excuse... (I don't consider it cheating when the person they're trying to divorce runs away to Thailand... but any other circumstance? Deal with your lack of nookie 'till the papers are signed asshole (man or woman) )

Technically you're giving her a plus one, so she can bring him. But if you live in a small town, I doubt that he'll come with her. If so, he's an even bigger idiot lol!

Saw this and thought of your friend. Lol.

@Pancakes Hahaha!!!!! What really pisses me off is the lack of concern for the kids he has. I hope he's saving up for their therapy.

Cheating and also rape on TV/movies really bothers me too. Actually with the cheating thing it's partly why I stopped watching House of Cards (I only saw the first few episodes).

@LadyMonk- I've stopped watching so many shows that I had previously loved because they went on this affair storyline kind of thing. Ick. FH feels the same way and is disgusted by even the idea of cheating. We never really get jealous since we both know cheating disturbs us so much. We're also Catholic... so he will be mine FOREVER Duuun-duun duuuuuuuun! lol

As someone hosting a wedding I would just give her the plus one and let it go. As her friend I would give her the pinky and say look here heffa what you are doing is wrong. He is using you and you look like a tramp in these street. Everyone is side eyeing you.

I would just give her the plus one and not worry about it. It's tough, but you can't make her change her mind about being with him. He is obviously playing your friend and has no intention of leaving his wife. But you can't really make her leave him. Hopefully he turns down the invite and makes up a terrible excuse. With everything going on you probably won't even notice he is there.

' my town is pretty small, and it seems like everyone knows everyone else, so there is a chance she'll find out later ' that's what I'm wondering about.

seems that most of the time, when someone is cheating sooner or later the spouse realizes it or that at least something is up. they may not admit it, but often they know.

I'm wondering if she'd find out what was up and show up at the wedding to bust the husband. I didn't think about that until after I made my first comment. this may not be as simple as just letting it ride. the whole thing could go badly.

and if he shows up with your friend, what would keep someone from telling the wife? that's what puzzles me about why your friend is even looking to bring this guy- if she's trying to keep a secret, bringing him to a wedding where so many would see isn't a good way to do it!

Well, I'll tell my friend that doesn't make her look good; but the choice is hers.

ETA: Am sure he's not that dumb.....

This is so MESSY! I can understand where you're coming from but I think the girls are right again. Invite her, plus one, and leave it alone. If you haven't said anything in 6 months, there's no real reason to say it now because it looks like you're trying to judge her now that you're getting married, when you were fine with it a few months ago (even if that isn't the truth). Let her live and learn on this one since you missed the window to say something, hopefully @Centerpiece is right and she wakes up.

P.S. Quote of the day goes to @Centerpiece with "parking space for his penis". I died. lol

I would be uncomfortable, too. You don't have to let him come... or support the relationship. Maybe you could get around it by saying to your friend ,"I was hoping you'd take your mom, sister, etc" if you know someone close to her?