First Rsvp- including kids that weren’t invited :(

View Quoted Comment Ok, this is plain rude. Get their phone number and call or text them to let them know that if you wanted to invite their adult children, they would have received their own invitation's!!

We had an over 21 wedding and reception.. We put it on all the invitations. We knew that some folks who had children would not be able to attend because of the travel and the over 21 expectation. DH's daughter has 3 children and although they came with her, they did not attend. I provided babysitting information and she selected someone to stay at the hotel with them. Our bottom line was - we understand that the no one under 21 stipulation could cause problems and we understand if you cannot make it. Also, over half of our guests came from out of town, and everyone who had children who traveled alone said they enjoyed the break

Do you have any other out of town friends with kids that weren’t invited? As I see it, you can claim the exception is because of the out of town status, and that can be your answer if any local friends quiz you about why their kids weren’t invited. Now if all of your own of town friends have all the kids, that’s an issue.

We are doing a destination wedding and children aren’t invited to our wedding. However, we have arranged for babysitting for the day of the wedding so that those who want to travel with their children, and make it a family vacation, can.

I’m shocked too that’s one of the most rude things I think people can do, bring others that aren’t on the invite unless it says they can. I don’t want any kids at mine, I’m putting in the invites that I’d like them to be left at home. It’ll help that ours is across the country, but I’m also hiring a sitter for the kids that are brought there anyways they can hang in a hotel room with her, my flower girl and ring bearers will be with her so their parents can enjoy a night of peace. I wouldn’t usually be so strict about it but I’ve been to weddings where parents don’t wrangle their kids and it’s very bad, they’ll run around the dance floor during the first few dances, some will bombard the bride because they don’t know better, others are screaming and crying because it’s so late, I won’t have that at mine.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree I’m getting a sitter too! My parents did that for my uncle and ex-aunt’s wedding and it worked out better for all of us, they enjoyed the reception without having to watch us and my little sister and I got to watch movies and sleep in the hotel room.

View Quoted Comment That’s perfect! I’m definitely putting that in mine! Except I’ll probably say like 14+ or 18+ or something, I just can’t have young kids at mine.

View Quoted Comment Yeah little children would be one thing but adult kids is just not okay.

So I totally get inviting kids in “circles” and that their kids weren’t in the circle you are inviting. If the wedding was completely an adults wedding only, I would have said to let them know that. But if they are traveling across the country to be there, I personally feel they should be allowed to come. I’m a mom and I wouldn’t want to travel that far without my kid. Just my two cents from the Mom perspective!

Uhg. This just happened to me too...after my rsvp deadline. My cousin rsvpd for him and his wife and then wrote in his two childrens names. We are having a no kid wedding and now I dont know what to do. They are traveling and their family is making a vacation out of it but we have told others not to bring kids (including FHs step brother who he doesnt know like at all). The ONLY kid we are allowing is my friends son who will be 24 days old as he will be in a swaddle and still breast feeding (no extra chair, no plate, no running around). She is finding a sitter for her other two sons though. Uhhhggg.

It’s a tough call. I sort of look at it the way I would for my few out of town guests. While I can easily seat them at a table with other friends, I feel obliged to giving them a plus one so they don’t feel so out of place. After all, you do want them to enjoy your special day too! It’s why you invited them in the first place. I guess it’s a case by case basis so is great that you are making an exception for this family.

View Quoted Comment I think this is an acceptable time to reach out and say “I’m sorry, but we are actually having a no kids wedding. Can i help you find a sitter?” They May say no and not come but if you aren’t having any other kids, I think it’s knay to tell them that. But if there were going to be other kids running around, I would have let it slide.

We are having limited children at our wedding..no children in the wedding party either. My niece and nephews, FH's godson and a 4 infants. Children we have a personal relationship with or babies that won't cost anything extra and especially since they are all breast feeding.

It would bother me most because they added them in! Was your invitation very specific as to who was invited? Like a we have reserved __ seats?

View Quoted Comment You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. I agree that it could be hard to find childcare when traveling out of town but it also depends on how old the children are. You, as an invited guest, also have the option not to attend if your kids aren’t invited, the least that could have done was called you and asked rather than putting you and FH in an awkward position. If they are so close with FH, asking shouldn’t have been such a big deal.

View Quoted Comment The only reason I didn’t is because this is my dad’s best friend. I’m thinking that my dad, who knows nothing about weddings, told them they could bring whoever. And our final numbers are fine so I’m just letting it slide even though it is ridiculous.

View Quoted Comment You aren’t crazy at all. Everyone’s budget, circumstances, space, vision is different. If you want just adults do that! They can either find a sitter or not come. I’m sure they will be missed should they decide to not come but the line has to be drawn some where. You can’t accomodate every wish someone has, if you do it eventually turns into something you don’t want. It’s also funny to me that people just assumed since they were coming across country that they wouldn’t be able to find a babysitter. Maybe they have family in the same state as your wedding or maybe they have family where they live that can watch their kids. Not saying it’s easy but people do make arrangements for children if they wanted an adult vacation or a date night so they shouldn’t assume you will accomodate them because you want them at your wedding.

I totally understand not wanting kids at the wedding. Did you mention anywhere on the invite or a wedding website that kids aren't allowed?

We are doing a 12 and older for kids, except for the wedding party children. We have a section on our website that specifically details this. But we are also arranging for childcare for anyone that has a kid under that age and wants to bring them with for the weekend (wedding festivities start Friday night and end Sunday morning. Only Saturday is child free)

You're not crazy for not inviting kids!! Its perfectly fine. My parents were invited to a wedding and not me (although I'm grown). They just assumed I was invited and I was like "no...you better check with the bride first. The invite doesn't have my name, nor did I get my own". So it doesn't shock me that people just assume lol

View Quoted Comment For a very close friend traveling a great distance, I assume they are not just doing it to turn around and go back, but have some plans for a few days with kids. It would be helpful if you could find a babysitter for the hours of the wedding. Obviously, easier for you to do than for them to do from a distance. You cannot do it for all guests. But for a few, we have done it before. We found several for mostly FI family coming to our adult wedding. Particularly with kids usually in day care, or school age, accepting a new babysitter for an evening in a hotel or motel is easier on kids than a big party of strangers to them. We have 5 kids. We wanted them, and do not think it is anyone else's responsibility to invite them every time they invite us someplace. When we travel to family or friends occasions and bring the children, we simply ask for a referral for a good babysitter. And every host we have ever had, knowing we traveled a long distance, has found someone. But I never expect the kids to be invited to things.

I had same sitation. One of his cousins will come from other side of the world (like actually other side ) and she send back rsvp that her husband will stay at home but she will come with her son who has been waiting for this day. It was duff desicion but, we talked with her mother and she arranged babysitter to him. No bad blood, everything is totaly fine