Fiancé’s sisters…bridesmaids??

It’s important that your bridesmaids are who you want to hang out with on your wedding day. They will be there to support you through wedding planning and hang out w you on the day and take pictures etc. choose who you want! I have 3 sisters and lots of friends so I decided to not include any sisters and have 6 friends as bridesmaids instead. I included my sisters by having their kids be flower girls and ring bearers. One of my sisters still gave a speech even though she wasn’t a bridesmaid. Don’t feel obligated to include anyone and you should do what you want! It is however nice to have some local bridesmaids I selected one who lives in my neighborhood so I had someone to dress shop with me bc my other bridesmaids and family lived too far.

If your fiance wants to include his sisters, they could stand on his side as groomswomen. Your bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest friends - no one should be asked out of obligation, or because you were in their weddings, or because someone else wanted you to include them, etc. The only reason you should include someone as a bridesmaid is because they are one of your closest friends and you can't imagine your day without them. If you aren't close to his sisters, you are under no obligation to include them as bridesmaids!

If they have not made any attempt to get to know you in the time you have been with your fiancé, then they should not be asked to be your bridesmaids. Bridesmaids are *YOUR* closest friends/family, not fiancé’s or someone else’s, and they are supportive of the wedding. Asking someone to be a bridesmaid as a way to get to know them is the wrong reason. If he wants them as attendants, they can stand on his side. But because they don’t have a relationship with you, they should not be asked to stand on your side. It’s also perfectly acceptable and common to not have siblings stand as attendants. If someone else expects you to ask his sisters, they are in the wrong because you don’t do that or anything out of obligation to please others whose opinions don’t matter at the end of the day. Those are not the ones getting married. You pick your bridesmaids, fiancé picks his attendants and everyone else keeps their opinions to themselves or they can stay home.


Do you have any best friends or close relatives you can ask? Who are you BFFs with?

If you're newly engaged, don't make any decisions about the bridal party yet. I would let the wedding talk from family and friends simmer down. If they ask, just say you're focusing on the big aspects of the wedding right now. This gives you time to take think about how many you and FH want standing by your side and who. Don't choose anyone out of obligation. And wait until your less than a year away. Relationships and feelings about who you want at your side may change.

Don’t choose anyone until 6 months before the wedding, it’s just a good idea to wait. His sisters can stand on his side, you don’t have to differentiate sides with gender. Honestly only honour the people closest to you.

I personally think you should. Think about the long term. They're going to be in your life forever and become your family. Maybe them becoming bridesmaids will help you all get closer. You should 100% still include your close friends as well. I'm asking my fiance's sister and we've only hung out a few times. Also in terms of them not trying to get to know you, have you tried to get to know them? Sometimes we forget that relationships go both ways, especially in situations between adults and children. I know they're teens, but you're still an adult and they aren't.

Also as for the age in terms of like your bachelorette party, I just wouldn't include them in adult activities. For example, if you were doing a Vegas stripper type trip I wouldn't bring them for that. I would do like a small group activity you all could do and then go on the trip with bridesmaids who are old enough.

It really depends on who you want and who your fiancé wants. If it works to include who you want and who your fiancé wants and you still have room for the sisters, I’d say go ahead and add them.

If you don’t want them as bridesmaids, I would try to include them in some meaningful way. Find out what they want most. They may just want to have a pretty dress and some flowers….? I would give each one an important sounding title, like candle lighter or guest book attendant or greeter or something like that. I would try my best to make them feel special to you

First off, how many bridesmaids were you looking to have in the first place? Have you started asking your own friends and family? Second, when you say teenagers, where in the teenage years are the sisters? If they're early on, say 13 or 14, then I think they'd be better for junior bridesmaids. My husband had his 16-year-old nephew as a groomsman, and his 13-year-old niece was our junior bridesmaid (although she was 12 at the time of the wedding). If they're older teenagers, though, perhaps 16-19, then they're old enough to be bridesmaids. Then the other question is, would you want to get to know them better so that you'd be more comfortable asking them? Having the siblings of the bride or groom automatically be in the wedding is a myth perpetuated by pop culture. You're not "obligated" to ask anyone to be in your wedding; that should be YOUR choice. What you really need to do in the end is talk it over with your FH. If you'd like to ask the sisters, then go ahead, and then make the effort to get to know them more. If you already know, though, that you wouldn't be comfortable with them, then find a way to let them down easy and maybe find other ways for them to be involved.

As I just suggested to another poster on another thread your wedding is your wedding and you have every right to have anyone you want or not want to be a bridesmaid. Do not feel pressured to do anything that’s not comfortable for you. It’s your day going to be surrounded by people who truly love you and celebrate your journey.