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Savvy February 2022

Fiance is complaining and i need to vent

Vanessa, on June 15, 2018 at 8:08 PM Posted in Planning 0 15
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Okay so Im upset. FH doesnt want to be involved in the wedding planning very much and im okay with that. We are having a small wedding under 20 people and so most everything im doing myself. Im making the reception dinner, im baking and decorating my own cake and cupcakes, im ordering bulk flowers and making my own arrangements, im doing everything except for sewing my own dress, growing the flowers, and being my own photographer. Because of this the only things we are spending much money on are these few luxuries and the flowers are under $200 while the dress is custom made and still under $1000. The most expensive thing we have budgeted for is our photographer and videographer. We have set aside $2000 total for both. I brought this up to FH today and tried to talk to him about 2 choices i was choosing between that are both under budget and he started complaining about their prices which include photo and video and exerything we need and want. He says this but other places i have looked at cost over $3500 for what we want and he still doesnt want to help me look so i dont appreciate him being so negative about all of this. I just dont know what to do because if its everything we were hoping for and its within the budget we set out i dont know what the problem is.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Brianna, on June 19, 2018 at 12:19 AM
  • M
    Devoted September 2020
    Mona ·
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    Red flags for me... how is he about splitting bills and chores??
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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    His attitude about all of this wouldn't fly with me. Echoing Mona, how is he about your day to day life and deciding on/paying for all the expenses?

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  • V
    Savvy February 2022
    Vanessa ·
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    He is great with splitting chores and day to day life and bills and all of that. Im surprised about his reaction to this. I feel like he expected us to be way under budget since ive been saving so much money everywhere else and when he found out that the ones i liked were so close to what we had budgeted he didnt like it.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2020
    Mona ·
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    You're doing so much and FH is too detached for my taste... I'm sorry you're going through this.
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  • MrsJackson
    Super October 2018
    MrsJackson ·
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    Try explaining after both of you have cooled down about. Say that this is important to you and a good photographer is always going to be pricey.
    You just want to capture both of your special day together.
    also, something else might be bothering him as well, you never know.
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  • V
    Savvy February 2022
    Vanessa ·
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    Thank you, i did just this and actually didnt even have to explain anything. He just said that he thought about it and that if i thought is was a good price that he trusted me and was sure we would get the best quality for our money.
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  • He Put A Ring On It 2019
    Devoted September 2019
    He Put A Ring On It 2019 ·
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    My FH is the same way about photography and videography. He says "why do you need pictures and video of the wedding? We'll both be there and have memories". I wanted to smack him haha.
    But my FH is involved with our wedding. He just doesn't understand the costs of everything and thinks he can find cheaper (he can't haha).
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  • MrsJackson
    Super October 2018
    MrsJackson ·
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    I’m glad it worked out Smiley smile
    unfortunately, wedding planning can cause unnecessary stress to couples.
    If things get rough just remember that y’all are getting married because you love each other more than anything else Smiley smile
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  • A
    Devoted May 2020
    Ali ·
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    We are completely avoiding those costs. We are having everyone else do the pictures, buuttt, we both have people who take great pictures coming to the wedding/reception, so that can make a difference. Also, our guests and family will each get different pictures than everyone else! And if they're uploaded to social media, we can save them and print whichever ones we like most! Plus, we are thinking of a scavenger hunt type of a game during the reception, too! So that'll be fun! Our invites, scavenger hunt check list, and thank you cards will have our wedding page on it, and everyone will be added to it before hand so that there's no way they wouldn't know about it! Good luck!!
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  • Kimberly
    Expert May 2018
    Kimberly ·
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    Our photography and videography was $4500. So $2000 isn’t too much. At first I didn’t want to splurge for videography and my husband was pushing for it. In the end I added it into the budget.
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  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
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    Sounds like he was just having some sticker shock. It's easy to experience with wedding planning. I'm glad it worked out.
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  • M
    Devoted August 2018
    Melissa ·
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    Yes I think it’s definitely sticker shock. My fiancé can’t believe how much things cost. Maybe ask him to do a bit of research on his own to try and find something cheaper. He’ll learn real quick what things cost.
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  • Amarriedmann
    Expert June 2019
    Amarriedmann ·
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    Glad it worked out! I think with many FH the sticker shock hits them harder. We are often the ones doing most of the research and almost become numb to these prices and start saying things like “it’s ONLY $3000!” Like we’d throw around those figures for anything else. 😂

    Mine said the same thing about the photographer. Ummm, have you even MET me??? I have a DSLR and over 35,000 pics on our computer and you thought I’D want to skimp on the photos?🙄😒
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  • AlmostMrsSmith
    Savvy July 2018
    AlmostMrsSmith ·
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    Anytime my FH complained I would suggest he go out and get some quotes! See how much fun it is...
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  • B
    Just Said Yes May 2019
    Brianna ·
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    I literally just today went through my SAME photography conversation with my FH! Except he said, "Everybody has cell phones, we'll be fine!" ..are you F9e939doe kidding me?! 😂
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