Fiancé doesn't care about wedding planning

Lots of brides and even grooms are in this situation

That's why we're here!

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My fh is kinda the same. Just wants me happy and tries to go with the flow. I found it better to be specific on what I need help with. Example- food- i narrowed it down as much as I could and had him pick the final contender. Also had him meet with my top 2 dj choices and let him pick the one he liked best.

Sounds like he wants whatever wedding will make you the happiest and that's what is important to him. It's not that he doesn't care about the wedding, he just doesn't care about the details.

My FH is the same! I've found that if I narrow choices down and give him X vs Y, he's happy to help decide. The only things he really got excited about were the food and cake tastings!

There's always going to be things he's more interested in. For example, my FH didn't give two shits about flowers but took over planning the cake.

It's just the nature of planning!

That's how most men are

Hi Anna ! Im having the same issue as you and our weddings are close in date. He also says "its way too early to plan things" as he is complaining about the little things I've picked out without him. I usually pick out a few things and give him choices so he's "helping" without actually helping.

My FH wasn't interested in planning at all at first. But now that we are getting closer to the day, he is much more interested. Give him time, it may be too early for him.

I agree with @bemyguest. It could just be that that specific portion of the planning doesn't interest him. My FH doesn't care about 75% of the planning. I do remember he cared about the color scheme and a couple of other random things. So I make it a point when he is interested, to follow his direction as much as possible.

No Cara, that's not how most men are; it's how some men and women are. I do a lot of same sex couples (we had civil unions in NJ long before SS marriage went nationwide). In most couples, there is one person who is really into it and one who is less so. Part of that ambivalence is that to an outside observer there just seem to be so many details that do nothing but bloat the planning process and really don't seem to make any difference. I can tell you that no one ever left a wedding thinking that the cute signs or imprinted napkins you suffered over made any impact on their experience.

There are big decisions, like the venue and food and music and me, and there are little ones that probably don't matter. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just that he has other things to think about.

I only have this problem with FH when I'm giving him too many options, he kind of tunes out. It also helps when we're physically doing something, like physically visiting a venue or vendor. He's actually been very helpful! He's a people person so engaging with the vendors one on one really made him more involved. Maybe he is getting overwhelmed? When we started booking vendors FH started getting stressed out thinking about the money and coordination of everything. It was really funny to me because I didn't find it stressful at all haha.

Yup. FH had final say on the venue, after I narrowed it down to 2, and he took full reigns of the cake. That was his show, and you should have seen him. I never thought you could ask a gazillion questions about cake. He tried every combo of flavor with icing. Everything else he helps with only if I have already narrowed it to a top 3.

This is totally normal. Only thing FH cared about was booze and the DJ. I couldn't even get him to help stamp our return address on the STD envelopes... It's frustrating, very frustrating.

I think it's this way in a lot of engaged couples, but maybe as your date starts to get closer he'll have some offer to input!

When FH and I got engaged, the first month he basically said the same thing "Ok my job is done (proposing), you plan the wedding however you want just tell me when and where to show up".

Then a few weeks later, he wanted to pick the officiant. Ok no problem.

Then a week later he wants to help pick the colors out. Yay!

Now he is insisting on attending all catering and cake tastings, where before he didn't care. (I was really glad to hear that, btw) I'm not complaining at all, but maybe when he sees actually how much work and choosing is involved, he'll have some opinions to put out there!

ETA: I def do all the leg work and vendor communications but he is really liking being involved in picking vendors when I have it narrowed down to a few.

FH is pretty much the same way. Things have really taken off in the business he runs so he's quite busy & so I try to only involve him in the major stuff.

My FH is the same way... Only thing he cared about was the food and alcohol. Ohhh and his suit. That was his biggest issue

Most of us are in the same boat! It's a guy thing! When they say they don't care...they really mean they don't care about the details. Don't take it to heart! All he cares about is marrying you!

My FH uses that excuse when he doesn't know what to decide on. My comeback to him is "oh I thought we were marrying each other?" Try it. Also let him know you value his opinion and the wedding is about making decisions together. It will kinda pave the way for all future decisions that a marriage brings.

My future hubby is the same until I don't want him to be involved. He has ideas for days during those times!

My FH was like that until we started getting closer. Now he is asking more questions and more than anything, assuring me that everything will be great. He just wants me to happy, too. Your FH might be the same way!